What ho, world. Blessay or blissertation number three coming up in a moment. It has taken me a little longer than I had hoped to furnish the site with its third upload. There are reasons and I shall go through them quickly.
Why So Late? My first blog entry, Devices and Desires (see below) went some way towards expressing my extreme passion for things digital. It resulted in a very charming enquiry from the Guardian newspaper in London. Would I be interested in providing a weekly column on the subject of the gadget, the electronic doo-dad and the world of the gismoidal? I thought about this longish and hardish.
I wrote newspaper columns through much of the eighties and nineties, and enjoyed it greatly. But for all kinds of reasons I was more than happy to retire. Feeling stale, tiring of the deadlines, hating myself for manufacturing cheap, easy rants – the line of least resistance when you rack your brains for weekly copy is to think of something you hate. That way lies the death of the soul IM(not so)HO. All those feature columns with titles like J’Accuse, Bile, Spleen and so on. Nasty. Won’t Do. It all came to a head when an editor called me up and asked if I could do a “1200 word hate piece on Christmas”. Not a blush, not a murmur of apology. Time to reach for my hat and streak for the horizon, I felt. Plus, by this time I was pretty deeply into … ah, but wait, that’s for the main body of the blessay.
Anyway, the upshot of my longish and hardish thinking the other day was to reply with a ‘yes’. Five hundred or so words a week for the Saturday Guardian on the subject of geeky dorky toys, digital advances, lordly overviews of the online scene – just my bag. The ‘lead times’ for these magazines are bizarrely long, so I’ve had to provide a longer introductory article and the first two columns proper in advance. The writing of them has kept me from my blog table.
At the same time I have finished shooting the second series of Kingdom and now find myself in the United States of America on Day One of a great adventure: filming in every state of the union for a BBC documentary. My mode of transport of choice is a black London cab.
American Sunrise I was possibly the first person in America to see the sun this morning.
There’s a proud boast. I was standing on the harbour wall at Eastport, Maine staring out across the bay at a beautiful, beautiful sunrise. Eastport, Maine styles itself the easternmost city in America. The Lowestoft of the USA, if you will. There didn’t seem to be anyone else around so I allowed myself to believe that I was indeed the first to see the sun rise in America that day.
I took a picture to commemorate the event.
The land you see on the horizon there is actually Canada, where she twists round the topmost corner of Maine at Passamaquoddy Bay, so the picture is taken from as far east as you can go in the USA. Actually, that’s a moot point. Part of Alaskan territory (now water rather than ice) actually crosses the dateline or Antimeridian so in theory Alaska can be called the easternmost and westernmost state in America which is rather naughty of it, but there you are.
Meanwhile, back in Maine on the first day of my documentary filming, the Motel East, where the crew and I are staying, may be out of range of cellular phones but, mirabile dictu, it has wi-fi, so I am able to send this to my site. We start the actual filming this afternoon. I shall be hauling in lobster pots and looking stylish in a sou’wester. That’s the idea anyway. Probably heaving my guts up over the taff-rail, if they have such a thing.
I really enjoy making documentaries. Fearsome hard work, but deeply satisfying. After Manic Depression, HIV/AIDS and the life and work of Gutenberg (yet to be shown on BBC4 some time later in the year I think) a jaunt around every state of America may seem rather trivial or self-indulgent, but I hope that won’t be how it comes across. America is important. We have seen perhaps a little too much of British people going over to sneer at rednecks, laugh at freaks and wring their hands at nutters. The America I’ve visited (and I’ve crossed it before in traditional fashion; shiny red Mustang convertible, diner to diner, motel to motel. Very Bruce Dern) have always seemed to me to be more than ordinarily kind, friendly, hospitable, polite, thoughtful and honourable. Well, I’m visiting with an open mind but that has been my experience thus far. Maine for four nights, then New Hampshire, Vermont, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, Connecticut, New York… you get the idea.
“And then along came a new quitting drug, called, in the UK at least, Champix (Chantix in the US?).”
Just saw an add for this online. And it is called Chantix.
Also if you happened to be on your way to Chicago from the east please make a stop at a smallish town called Valparaiso, Indiana. Home of Valparaiso University. We can show you the snazzy new library (where I work.)
Dear Stephen,
What an absolute pleasure it is to read your blogs! I’ve been trying to think of something original to say here… you inspire so many people to such heights of linguistic accomplishment. (It is also a rare pleasure to read so many well-spelled and well-grammared comments from the general public.) I don’t think I can come up with anything too awe-inspiring, other than to say I LOVE YOU!… and I will also add this:
When you get to Portland, Oregon, you MUST pay a visit to Powell’s City of Books (if you never have before) (or if you already have, then you must visit again to put it in your documentary)! Here is a link to their blog (their beloved 19-year-old store cat, Fup, passed away this week, and the tributes are flowing in): http://www.powells.com/blog/?p=2568#comment-233321
And as you make your way up the I-5 on your way to Seattle, don’t bypass the FIRST Vancouver (in Washington)! Fort Vancouver might be a good subject for your documentary, as would a discussion of the current plans to put a new bridge over the “mighty Columbia,” in an attempt to open up the bottleneck between Oregon and Washington on that crucial highway.
Oh, and don’t forget Mount St. Helens in Washington! It is massively awe-inspiring to see the results of the eruption in 1980 (my words don’t do it justice).
Hugs and Peace,
Barbara
What is it about the parsnip that lends itself so generously to ridicule? I suspect it is something shared by various root vegetables – the turnip and swede hardly fare much better, and Baldrick only took advantage of that rather than set the scene.
I love a good roasted neep, but the raw material once dug from the veg patch does demand slapstick attention. Carrots are a little more serious, probably because of their ubiquity, diced (in all multicoloured yawns) or sliced.
And now, I will forever see the parsnip as a vitamin-rich hair shirt or leather strap, flapped in the air, hovering over a masochistic head, by some capering loon who defines addiction. I see a self-help parsnip flappers group and a logo to match. Oh Joy.
Portland has a surprisingly seedy history of shanghaiing and prostitution. One of my favorite tales involves Joseph ‘Bunco’ Kelly, a notorious crimper who boasted to a captain that he could shanghai a full crew in less than 12 hours. Fortunately for Bunco, he stumbled across a group of 22 men who had (through their own stupidity) ingested embalming fluid. Claiming the men were drunk, Bunco sold them to the ship’s captain. It wasn’t until his ship had sailed that the captain realized his new crew members were dead.
Now we just content ourselves with coffee shops, bookstores, and microbrews.
PS – Thank you for your tribute to Fup, bwhughes. She is sorely missed over here in Powells-land.
May I say I am so glad that these blessays are now coming, whatever their frequency. Lord knows I appreciate Mr Fry has precious little extra time on his hands, but the whole reason I joined the forum in the first place was that I’d just enjoyed Paperweight for the 3rd time and wondered if there was more where that came from. Now there is.
In lieu of any startlingly witty or original comments I’ll simply say thank you so much for giving us your thoughts for the first time since the old newspaper columns. Your tutor was wrong – you have a fine mind as well as a good brain!
BTW Stephen, you’re sweet enough without the sweets
Chocolate… that was my main source of nutrition since infancy, till I quit it all at once – sugar, sex, dope, cigarettes, antidepressants. It’s been 2 years without any of those, and I’m just starting to shake out the boredom and really enjoy the clarity. Probably a bit radical, but that was my rebellion.
It’s startling how cigarettes and writing are so intertwined. For me, more with academic work. I actually resorted to cashew nuts just to get things done. A whole new addiction to get rid of.
Your insights are inspiring, as always, and have been my antidepressants for years now. A real source of strength and comfort, and frequently my rewarding “surging waves of bliss”.
Thank you Stephen.
Very pleased to ead you’re giving up smoking. Hopefully this’ll mean we’ll have you on this mortal land for longer
Hiya, Stephen, I think it is most excellent that you are traveling around the 50 states in your black cab. I live in the Land of Bill Clinton, also known as Arkansas.
I am quite confident that my husband is the only person in the state from Norfolk, so it only seem right that you stop in our fair city of Fayetteville. And since you just stopped smoking, he promises not to offer you a loight, boy. Best, Jen xxx
Hmmmmm, chocolate! I can go without anything else. Whatever size box they’ll be gone in a day. They call to me… Softly melting, mouth tingling, orally orgasmic chocolate.
Thanks for another great blessay. And to the question in the first paragragh “Am I simply weak?” What follows it disproves that idea. No weakness or whinging, but a lot of strength!
In awe again
Looking forward to the new documentary, alongsied Michael Palin’s your’s are the only ones I make time to watch.
Good to see you’re being healthy =] perhaps I should give it a go myself….on the other hand I may just develop a parsnip related addiction
Much love xx
[...] also have plenty of reviews that don’t manage to reach the prose levels of, say, Stephen Fry, but at the same time provide an honest opinion that can help one make a decision on whether to [...]
What a great blog. Surely this will become one of the most visited in the world?!
I look forward to future your future entries – ;D
As for addictions – yes, life really is dull without them – and I think that balance is key to them. But creative, indulgent personalities are unable to gauge balance correctly. The tap is either on or off. It can’t just trickle. Especially when there’s availability. Sir Bill Hicks put it well:
Does anyone remember this, when Yul Bryner died, and came out with that commercial after he was dead?
“I’m Yul Bryner and I’m dead now.”
What the fuck’s this guy selling? I’m all ears. I’m Yul Bryner and I’m dead now, because I smoked cigarettes. Okay, pretty scary. But they coulda done that with anyone. They coulda done it with that Jim Fixx guy, too, remember that guy, that health nut who died while jogging? I don’t remember seeing his commercial!
I’m Jim Fixx and I’m dead now. And I don’t know what the fuck happened. I jogged every day, ate nothing but tofu, swam five hundred laps every morning, and I’m dead. Yul Bryner drank, smoke, and got laid every night of his life. He’s dead. Shit! Yul Bryner’s smokin’, drinkin’, girls are sitting on his cueball noggin, every night of his life! I’m running around a dewy track at dawn. And we’re both fucking dead. Yul used to pass me on his way home in the morning, big long limousine, two girls blowing him, cigarette in one hand, drink in the other. “One day that life is going to get to you, Yul.”
They’re both dead. Yeah, but what a healthy looking corpse you were, Jim. Look at the hamstrings on that corpse! Look at the sloppy grin on Yul’s corpse! Yul Bryner lived his life. Sure, he died a 78-pound stick figure, okay. There are certain drawbacks.
The latest installment of Stephen Fry Appreciation Monday
Do pop by and where is the latest blessay? Guardian columns do not count as a blessay Mr. Fry… 
http://www.couchslobs.com/2007/11/stephen-fry-appreciation-monday-kingdom.html
If you’ve never been to Alaska before, research the weather a bit before going, especially if you intend to drive up. I’ve never driven the Alcan myself, but I’ve heard it can be harrowing in winter (which can extend well into May).
The contiguous states almost seem to have something in common that Alaska and Hawaii lack; it’s like a coating, or maybe it’s some cultural aspect, but whatever it is, you can tell they’re the same country (I can’t speak for the South, but the rest of it certainly). You can tell just as readily that Alaska isn’t the same country. To illustrate, an ex of mine grew up in California, lived several years in New York, then spent two months wandering around Eastern and Mediterranean Europe speaking not a lick of anything but English, and immediately came from there to visit me in Alaska – he said it was “the most foreign fucking country [he'd] ever seen”. I don’t know if it’s ineffable or if you’ll even see what I’m talking about, but if there is something to it, I’m sure you’ll be able to put it into better words.
In my lifetime, Anchorage has metamorphosed into an American city, and there’s a few-acre chunk of America that’s been deposited in a field on the outskirts of Fairbanks. People call Fairbanks a “military town” now, which is as inexcusable as it is factual. It’s hard to have sympathy for people complaining about America being colonized by Mexicans; if you can still have Manifest Destiny, why can’t they?
Also, congratulations on the health thing. I noticed you looked well on QI.
“In 2006 Americans consumed an average of 25.5 pounds of candy; a two pound increase from 2001.”
Some people just love graphing things. (Not me, particularly). However, this link is topical…and I stumbled on it just after reading your blessay. (Per capita consumption (lbs and $) of confectionery products, 2001-2006
http://www.swivel.com/graphs/show/24179113)
I’d say it’s a sign. a divine sign. A warning, perhaps. Actually that reminds me, I have some Revels that I must open now. I only wish the bars grew by 10% a year instead of shrinking like the Curly Wurly or classic Chomp.
Or did I just grow bigger?
Looking forward to the new series. One of my good friends has recently moved to Salem in Oregan. Not the famous Salem. My knowledge of American geography is sadly lacking, in part due to my jumping on the ‘we hate America’ bandwaggon as a student. However, I have done some research and apparently Portland, nearest city to Salem, is currently being tipped as the next Seattle of the music industry, ready to unleash the next big scruffy looking, drug-crazed, don’t-wanna-be-famous rock band out into the world.
It may be cliche to say so, but these bands do leave many thinking that fags, booze and drugs are really quite cool; it does work, believe me! Don’t get me wrong, I reckon everyone needs a bit of rock in their life, and I’ve enjoyed many nights on all kinds of dance floors. But I hadn’t touched a drop or taken a drag before I heard ‘Cigarettes and Alcohol’ by Oasis back in the mid-nineties, and I you can be assured that I have indulged in plenty of it (and more) since…
I do admire people who kick the habits. Over the years I have done away with many vices, but I’m left with smoking and sweet things (cakes and cold desserts of various kinds mostly). I hadn’t ever considered what you mentioned about ‘daily highs and lows’ – that could be something for me to think about…
More please Mr Fry sir, I enjoyed that immensely!
Portland (which is about an hour and a half north of Salem) does indeed have an excellent music scene. Not only can you find live music every night, there are a whole host of music festivals each year, including Musicfest Northwest and the Waterfront Blues Festival, one of the most famous Blues festivals in the U.S.
One of my favorite Portland bands is The Decemberists. While not drug-crazed, they are a bit scruffy, in that nerdy-thick-framed-glasses-Portland-literati sort of way. I highly recommend anyone who takes the time to read this posting to check them out. Any band who can use the words fecundity and laudanum (and use them well) in a song are worth a listen.
And since I doubt anyone is reading this… I am going to confess that I’m thirty years old and still hide that fact that I smoke from my parents. How pathetic is that?
So if you’ve quit cigarettes and are cutting down sugar, does this mean you’ll be addicted to the zyban for the foreseeable future? Or will you replace it with the parsnips?!
Am loving the column (I now have the gorgeous dilemma of which bit of the guardian to go to first – will it be living with teenagers?charlie’s rants about telly?or techie fry? ah choices, choices!) and to discover blessays at the end of a very long selfpitying insomniac night is truly a joy – especially when I’m persuading myself NOT to smoke (weed is addictive if you’re an insomniac who loves to sleep!)
cheers
On the mac OS X 10.5 Leopard voice “Alex”…
Everyone 1 seems to be amazed by the new voice included as part of mac OS X Leopard, and called Alex. Yes, it is better than previous computerised voices, but it (he?) still has a long way to go.
A lot is being made of the “natural breathing and in…
@Ash – November 5th.
Well said Ash, but let’s not forget that the sill missed Sir Bill Hicks himself died of Cancer.
For what it’s worth, addiction is, in my view, genetic. I’ve just created my first Dynamic DNS and God was it exciting… and now I want to create a thousand more. Instead I’ll sip my beer and reflect on the fate of my alcoholic great-grandfather and the legacy he’s left me. I hate to diss, but you’re column, while wonderful, is a painful reminder of all the gadgetry I can’t afford. Any chance of a cheapo, eBay, secondhand gems of technology thingy?
Another wonderful blessay. It was a joy to read. I totally empathise with your description of sweets being a manifestation of the divine. I feel the same about desserts, chocolate, biscuits (the most addictive substance of all I can go through a whole packet and still not feel satisfied, as a child you couldn’t leave me alone with a box of Fingers or Kit Kats or they’d be gone in the blink of an eye), ice cream, buns, muffins, hell food in general it doesn’t have to be sweet. It really is an addiction. The cravings, the rush, the shame and guilt afterwards when you realise you gave into your cravings and you could’ve said no and ignored it. But it rarely ever get’s ignored. The worst is when you crave something so much and you finally get it and it disappoints. It’s funny when that happens. Something that can usually taste so good taste like shit for no particular reason at all. It’s like a disgusting waste in your mouth and you feel really bad for eating it as well. Breaking away is so tough. I was managing so well a few years ago, keeping control of my eating habits but this year it’s all gone to hell. Keep going with your break away from your addictions and don’t look back. You should be proud of quitting smoking and the rest. I look forward to your next blessay.
Bloody ‘ell. I’m glad I stumbled across this page.
I’m strapped to the metaphorical Catherine Wheel at the moment – my head is buzzing so much. I stopped smoking three and a half weeks ago, and gave up coke 7 and a half months ago. I haven’t had any cravings for cigarettes but I can’t stop bloody crying.
I know that I have trained myself over many years to expect instantaneous rewards. Nose powder, gob sticks, liquorice, liquor on ice, anything that gives me what I demand – right now!
So, I suppose the tears I’m having are coming from the spoilt little brat inside me who is screaming out for a reward. This is the first time in 15 years I haven’t indulged in any addictive substances. And my body, at the moment, does not know whether to believe it or not.
Thanks so much to everyone for their comments – it’s slowed down the washing-machine head for a very welcome interlude.
Congratulations on quiting smoking! What a massive change in one’s life & daily habits that must be! And for starting to get sugar out of your diet too.
I’ve found that wheat and other starchy white grains are triggers for sugar cravings for me. When I eliminate the grains, the need for sugar goes away. I don’t know how universal this connection is, but one could try eliminating wheat etc. & seeing what happens . . .
Thank you, Mr. Fry, for these blessays and your other writing & interviews as well – not only is your writing always a joy to read, but your willingness to publicly analyze your own innards & workings is a help & support to those of us puttering along in the haze.
Have you considered posting the itinerary of your America trip here? That way, if you’re coming to a particular area (say, Northern Coastal California – redwoods, Headwaters Forest, Pacific Ocean, Roosevelt elk, environmental issues galore . . . how could you resist?!), we can all be on the lookout, cameras at the ready, for your taxi!
[...] cultural distinctions, discussion versus argument, oversensitivity and Al Gore’s jet from the wayfaring Stephen [...]
Being a fellow baby boomer, I’d just like to say – it is the likes of you and I and our diligent intake of sugar, that made the British Dentist what he or she is today. Rich.
Which reminds me. I let one of them pull out a tooth that was giving me grief only to find, when I looked at it in the Dentist’s hand, it was white and the picture of tooth health. I subsequently worked out it was simply, a damn malingerer.
That taxi is awesome and totally random.Well done with the smoking!!!
I sort of understand the sugar stuff, I was anorexic before bipolar (well I’ve been told by someone that I’m probably bipolar, but have to wait for ages to see someone who can actually diagnose anything) so I didn’t eat anything at all sugary for a couple of years. Now I eat literally nothing but sugary stuff (and crisps). Which I know, is totally unhealthy, but… Anyway…
Thanks for keeping a *** .
I Love QI, Blackadder and the HP tapes.
I hope you enjoy exploring each state in the union. I apologize in advance for Alabama. There are actually a lot of perfectly nice, intelligent, interesting people here. It’s just that they’re not easy to find. Mostly because they’re outnumbered and so have gone into hiding, I think.
I relate closely to what you’ve said here about addictions. I’m only 27, but I’ve smoked since I was fourteen and I’ve struggled with overeating for what seems like forever. I also developed a fondness for Darvoset and other painkillers in my late teens, and I flirted with a drinking problem a few years ago.
Interestingly enough, I think I found out WHY by watching your documentary on manic depression. (Thanks, by the way.) Richard Dreyfuss, during your interview with him, was talking about how his medication made him feel. He said something about feeling as if he’d been letterboxed…as if the very top and very bottom had been taken out, and someone had told him he could live in the middle.
Now, I don’t think I’m manic-depressive, but I do spend the vast majority of my time ricocheting between soul-numbing boredom and extreme irritation. I’m great in a crisis, but the day-to-day stuff? I either get so incredibly bored with it that I stop making an effort, or I get so incredibly irritated by it that no one can tolerate being around me. I only have two gears: sullen or snappish.
The cigarettes and the food give me a way to kill time. The pills and the alcohol take the edge off the irritation. I don’t know for certain, of course, but I think that I may form addictions in a misguided attempt to find what Mr. Dreyfuss did with his meds. A way to live in the middle.
I’ve stopped drinking and taking the pills, and I’ve started eating sensibly. I still smoke, but I’m working on it. I’m also working on finding some other, less destructive, ways to stay in the middle. I do feel better these days, but that in itself is hard to adjust to. It’s like I’m having to relearn how to navigate the world. I do have some days where I wonder if all this change means that I’m not really ME anymore.
Then I trip over absolutely nothing or bite the inside of my cheek. Yep…still me.
dear stephen
i enjoy your cerebral interjections and intelligent yet somewhat engaging naivety. i am myself a bluff northerner, son of an itinerant irishman, blagging my way through life as a professional. i admire your candor and forthright approach and hope that you do not lose your verve for life and its strange irrelevancies
Thank you, thank you, thank you! You are right to suppose that others will have experienced the same as you. I have always been addicted to sweeties and still am at age 41. Sweets have changed since the 70s but I still devour sweet cigarettes (now candy sticks), only now in multipacks. I used to love chocolate flavour cheroots (like long, brown candy sticks) but can’t find them anywhere these days.
My addiction stemmed from a combination of comfort and bribery. Youngest of four, my siblings would bribe me with sweets to keep me quiet when they had hurt me during boisterous play, which occurred almost daily. I was a tiny stick-figure of a girl. Later, I knew I had a problem when I got almost hysterically angry on the way home from school when my sister refused to buy me a can of coke, even though she had the money. If I’d have been bigger, I think I would have mugged her for the fix money.
Anyway, I smoked form teenage until 3 weeks ago when I decided to stop. The first week was relatively easy, but I have gradually found that I am no longer capable of engaging in my work (self-employed) or anything else for that matter. Tears of frustration and mild hysterics led me (and my partner) to wonder if giving up is a good idea at this moment in time. I have a recent history (2 years) of anxiety and this was messing me up more than I could imagine. I have replaced cigarettes with sweet food and have polished off no less than 36 bags of Iced Gems in the last 72 hours.
So, thank you for enlightening me with your own experiences. It explained a lot for me – especially having just procrastinated and lit up a cigarette. I already feel more lucid than I have of late and my Iced Gem consumption has dropped to within “normal” parameters this evening. I am armed with more knowledge for next time.
There is nothing to apologies for, really. I am very deeply and immensely grateful for your sharing the addictions story. Nothing in common with dreadful self-pitying whine, Mr.Fry.
The funny thing to add is the my maniacally addictive searching for methods to quit addiction. Gum, pills, patches, cold turkey, systematic schedule to reduce smoking till the logical end, hypno, patches again, cold turkey, etc. Guess what? I am still smoking. I am tired to smoke and tired to quit. Well, that is the dreadful self-pitying whine, Mr.Fry
Maybe Addiction is just the the state of mind? And all one can do is to find a relevant (not health-abuse) target to apply addiction?
Have a good time in US!
Looking forward to your new documentary.
Very best wishes
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Dear Mr Fry
Thank you for this fascinating insight into your particular relationship with addictive substances and behaviour. Congratulations especially, on kicking the three narcotics that you mentioned. However you did mention a fourth vice. So after finding that you no longer have a need for self-medicating, do you still find yourself self-loving like a viagra fuelled chimp?
yours
D Blaster
Mr. Fry, I like your mode of transportation to get around the states. I did read about your broken arm and hope it heals quickly so you can travel soon.
USA
Eschewing my suspicions that you probably haven’t looked at all of these comments, I’m compelled to add my own 2 cents’ worth. As admirable as your victories over smoking and cocaine, I’m personally struck by your triumph over sugar.
I’m a lifelong lover of anything and everything sweet. I can finish an entire batch of cookies in a matter of minutes, a whole pan of brownies in a day; I once polished off an entire half gallon of coffee ice cream all in one sitting. This is no exaggeration, and still something I struggle with daily, I’m sad to say. Simply staying away from sweets is not an option for me, since I’m a baker.
Eh, such is life.
In your travels across America, I recommend a visit to Austin and College Station, TX.
Nice read. Thank you Mr. Fry!
I’ve been wondering wheter I have some sort of anti-tobacco-addiction gene in me that prevents me from getting addicted to tobacco.
I’ve been a passive smoker for as long as I can remember, my father being the smoker in the house – still is and I still get very cross about it to him – oh the hypocrisy. But it used to be real and entitled anger. I didn’t want to get those kind of lugns my teacher used to show us in biology classes nor did I ever want my father to die because of it.
Anyway, at some point I somehow adopted this habit. I carry it with me but it doesn’t matter how many I smoke or how frequently per day, I can just the same stop and not smoke or think about the taste and the smell and the momentary flow it gives.
But then again there’s candy. The start of all good and evil. Whole different cup of tea for me.
Authorities seek to verify hit-and-run…
“He explained that he had an injury on his left elbow from using a wood splitter,” the police report said,…
How I empathise however, I fear the publication of my truths and would find it appallingly dishonest to simply change nicks and post my ‘truth’ in disguise (so to speak). Suffice to say that as I sit and keyboard away (funny how the word ‘typing’ seems so at odds now) I also experience the deep hidden motif of “I could accomplish this if I have.. ” because then my nervous, aware self tends to fade and the stronger, creative self seems to come better to the fore. I have pushed most of my addictions away but I feel almost angry like a child that I cannot have! How embarrassing it is to cry and wail and feel I am a lost hopeless human being who cannot complete a task…simply because something so….(insert word here)… is out of reach.
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