The New Adventures of Mr Stephen Fry » Forum: BBC 2 - The Secret Life of the Manic Depressive

The New Adventures of Mr Stephen Fry » Forum: BBC 2 - The Secret Life of the Manic Depressive - Recent Topics http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/forum/bbc-2-the-secret-life-of-the-manic-depressive Just another bbPress community en-US Tue, 16 Mar 2010 17:49:17 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/search.php BayTheMoon on "My E-Book is out today." http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/topic/my-e-book-is-out-today#post-220769 Thu, 04 Mar 2010 15:38:08 +0000 BayTheMoon 220769@http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/ Hello One and All My book 'UNSETTLING' is released in electronic format today. You can download it from Chipmunka Publishing <a href="http://tinyurl.com/yexphme" rel="nofollow">http://tinyurl.com/yexphme</a>. It is my personal account of 57 madcap years of living with MD/BPD, and whatever other name you choose to give it. The paperback will be available in... in... in... I don't know!! I only wrote it, others will decide what happens next. Comments matter a great deal. Do let me know. Love 'n' stuff. David Thomas (BayTheMoon) marzgirl on "My sweet dysphoric maniac" http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/topic/my-sweet-dysphoric-maniac#post-219709 Thu, 25 Feb 2010 18:58:52 +0000 marzgirl 219709@http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/ My son keeps having alot of dysphoric cycles. He gets so angy, so frustrated. When he gets like this he will argue and pick fights. I can say something is red and he will insist it is blue. It is like he is arguing for the sake of arguing. As the cycle escelates he makes threats of bodily harm to others and says he is going to go live with his dad when he does not get what he wants. He wants what he wants, when he wants it or else..... Eventually he gets to the point where he thinks if someone angers him just one more time that he will hurt that person, no matter who they are. Even the school police officer. I am seeking out any advice/copeing skills anyone can pass on to me. If anyone has cycles of dysphoria I would like to find out more about what has worked for others, what has not worked and what makes it worse. XXXXXX katysara on "TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD - BOOK 2 is now out!" http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/topic/too-good-for-this-world-book-2#post-218565 Tue, 16 Feb 2010 17:35:00 +0000 katysara 218565@http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/ Hello folks, my second book is now out. It is trickling down into shops like Amazon as we speak though you can get a full copy from my publishers site, or signed from me (you cover extra postage). To see more about it please visit my website <a href="http://www.katysaraculling.com/toogoodforthisworld.htm" rel="nofollow">http://www.katysaraculling.com/toogoodforthisworld.htm</a> And leave comments here if you are reading it as i know some of you are! They really do mean a lot to me. <img src="http://www.stephenfry.com/bb-content/plugins//bb-smilies/default/icon_surprised.gif" title=":o" class="bb_smilies" /> KSx tallyg on "IS IT CLEAR YET?" http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/topic/is-it-clear-yet#post-195543 Tue, 20 Oct 2009 21:10:14 +0000 tallyg 195543@http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/ Two reports written, one to go, then a case study on ethics, then finish my barely started 7 page website. *whimpers* I'm so tired... maybe I'll just curl up on my sofa for 30 mins and start again later. Good music marzgirl <img src="http://www.stephenfry.com/bb-content/plugins//bb-smilies/default/icon_smile.gif" title=":)" class="bb_smilies" /> Mister on "I need some advice on how to talk to someone about mental illness" http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/topic/i-need-some-advice-on-how-to-talk-to-someone-about-mental-illness#post-221685 Wed, 10 Mar 2010 15:15:08 +0000 Mister 221685@http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/ Okay, I have this friend, who I have known for 8 years, who's 20. She's always been a little "weird", eccentric. She sometimes says things that seem hurtful and crass to other people, and is sometimes overemotional, she can react really strongly to the smallest things. That makes a lot of people see her as a drama queen, but she's not acting, she really feels things like that, like she looks at the world a little crookedly. And she does get depressed at times, really depressed. And her older brother got schizophrenia, and is really off. Last year she started uni a long way away, and today I found out she's been treated for psychosis for about a month. She told me she sees and hears things and that she wants to hurt herself and other people, including me. She's only told three people, me, another friend and her boyfriend, who still lives in my area. And that's where the problems lies. I don't know all the details in the situation, but apparently after she told her boyfriend he became distant. He hardly calls her anymore, and hardly ever answers his phone. They've been dating for more then three years now, and are really great together. He's become a friend of me as well, and I have adopted him as my little brother. I'm going to meet him for coffee tomorrow and talk to him, but I don't really know what to say. I myself had a psychotic break 2 years ago, and I nearly died twice. And her brother, the schizophrenic, is really scary at times and violent. So the boyfriend's experiences are all of the really bad, freaky kind. And I have to find something reassuring to say, because they love each other and need each other and are both really scared. So anyone got some advice? Chameleon on "And what about me? (contains hate and.. whatever)" http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/topic/and-what-about-me-contains-hate-and-whatever#post-219977 Sat, 27 Feb 2010 12:04:53 +0000 Chameleon 219977@http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/ There is no me. I blend in. When I sit on a leaf, I’m green, when I sit on a twig, I’m brown, and when I sit on a parrot, I get thrown off. The leaf thinks I’m green and the twig thinks I’m brown. I just wonder why everyone has these weird pictures of me. I’m invisible. It’s better that way, because a visible chameleon is food. I’m not a chameleon, though, I’m depressed. But that’s just what I think, and what do I know? I went to see a psychologist, who said that she can see that I feel this and that and something else, I don’t recall the exact words, and that I can call that depressed, if I like. Interestingly, that was a while after she told me I could see a psychiatrist or my gp about antidepressants, if I liked, which is something she said very soon, not long after reading „depression“ on my referal. Maybe depressed people would generally be better, if they just did whatever they liked. Like kill themselves. (belated sarcasm warning). In mid-second session she said that she isn’t there to tell me what to do. I hadn’t asked her what to do. I thought I had just expected that she did her job, because I don’t have to see a psychologist to be allowed to call things whatever I like and do whatever I want. I have to see a psychologist, because I want to know what the problem is and what I can do about it. Maybe she thought there’s a risk that I’d just do whatever she says, well, good luck with trying to make me do something that way, I am not my mother. My mother is ill. Last week she had a chance of surviving the next five years of 15-30%. She didn’t listen to the doctor carefully enough to figure that out, because she doesn’t really want to know. She’s the one who asks questions that go: „doctor, if I were you’re mother, would you recommend...“ She also told him, that her gp and the other doctor both said she should have that therapy, because they think she’s strong enough, to which the doctor just said: „Well, and I let you decide.“ I liked that. Of course, she asked me what I think, next. I said I’m not yet informed enough to have an opinion. That’s a phrase that makes sense to me, quite unlike „call it depressed if you like“. I can call it Henry if I like, but what’s the point? If you don’t want it to be understood as a diagnosis, why not say: I don’t want this to be understood as a diagnosis. IF that’s what she meant. It makes me angry that I try to accept that I have a „normal“ problem and qualified people talk to me like, „no, actually mental health is a voodoo thing. It’s essential that we dance around the table before we drink the chicken blood.“ The first person I saw about it apologised that people have to wait in the corridor, where everyone can see them. Hello? Did my therapist just expect me to be ashamed or what? The second person I saw was the one who had listened very carefully in the lesson that taught to be completely undefined. Ergo, I have something so shameful that nobody even dares to define it. No, seriously, that was a joke. Anyway, they had another test and found out that my mother was lucky enough to have a mild subtype (at a 5% chance), so it’s now unlikely that she’s going to die. Well, now that it isn’t unlikely anymore, that it would be unlikely, its unlikely she’ll die. And what could possibly go wrong, when you’re on arsenic? If I concentrate very hard, I think that I’m relieved, but without focussing at all it’s apparent that I also feel like shit. I have completely lost meaning. Mid-second session is also when I was finished with mentioning everything that’s shit in my life in a summary kind of way. Sometimes, one hour and thirty minutes is all the time you get to come up with something. Like a question. I quite like questions. What she came up with, I guess, is that she could be quiet and wait if it makes me say more, because that’s what she concluded, wrongly, at the end of the first session when I was already on the way out, that: „she made me tell her somewhat more towards the end“. Fatal misapprehension of how proud I was that I fitted two thirds of my problems into one hour, even providing structure and climax, while being busy crying my eyes out and keeping my voice steady. I was fucking brilliant and she thought that was her achievement? Sure, being quiet might work with people who are not the queen of silence. All that silence does, is to convince me that I’m wasting my time. 30 minutes left to say nothing much, start asking questions about alternatives, medications and duration, and being told that it’s going to take an indefinite amount of time to find windows and turn off the heating instead of closing the blinds. There is no way of doing it faster or different and behavioural therapy isn’t for me, because my problem isn’t that I have to be told how to make lists. I don’t think I can provide windows. I was more under the impression that I’m naked on a hill in a thunderstorm wearing a copper helmet and shouting: THERE IS NO GOD. There isn’t any kind of window within a radius of two miles, so where would I get a window from and what for? To hold it over my head? I think I know what she meant, but what she said was that my whole life story isn’t even good enough to have a window in it. Well, if there is nothing more I can tell her, and there’s nothing more she can tell me, that’s the point where conversations naturally end, or not? I can’t shake off the impression that people try to find a way around my brain and that might then be their window to my rotting emotions. There is no way around my brain, though. I see too much. I see bad moves a lot. I have big eyes that move independent of each other. If I didn’t see bad moves, I’d be food. It’s a bad move to use something I mentioned in one sentence, as an argument against another form of therapy, when you didn’t even make sure you got me right, because that way, the argument will fall apart and open the view on how you just tried to convince me of your view by making up rubbish arguments. So behavioural therapy isn’t for me, because I didn’t get on with the university corridor person who told me to google a therapist, which didn’t help me one bit? That’s not an argument against behavioural therapy, that’s a joke. A completely unnecessary one, as she’d already explained her opinion differently, but maybe thought I didn’t react convinced enough. After all, when I asked her, if she could recommend a behavioural therapist, all SHE came up with was that I could look in the yellow pages, where sometimes it’s mentioned which style therapists are. I checked - it isn’t. Doesn’t make her view wrong necessarily, I know that, didn’t make me want to come back either. I had let the corridor person into a discussion about the different therapy „styles“ and he told me they really don’t like each other. Seems he was right about that. The experience made me hate people more. It’s not advisable to hate people more, when you already hated people, if you ask me. My plan was to go see a psychiatrist instead and medicate it away, because people are obviously too stupid to help me. No offence. Well, it probably is an offence, but if you’re offended it just prooves that people are stupid, somehow. But now, I don’t want to talk about the same things all over again. It seems pointless. Maybe that would make me a better client, because if I don’t talk, then at least it makes sense to look for a window. And I can let tiny bits of information slip and they could congratulate themselves for their extreme cleverness that enabled them to achieve that. Maybe I’ll try to play treasure hunt next time I see a therapist, they might be of more use, once I made them feel good about their detective skills. It does work a bit like a treasure hunt in „In treatment“ I have noticed, which is due to the need for dramatic effect, I hope. You know what Paul would say? He’d say it’s interesting how I’ve been mixing stories of my mother and my therapist, especially since it’s months between them, and that I describe it like they both lack understanding and that I seem to be angry and feel powerless. I have no idea what I’m doing anymore. I know where the two stories connect. I feel miserable because of one and I’ve already felt rather miserable before, and there is nothing I can do about it because of the other. I tried, it was pointless, I’m angry, I hate people, I can't go back there. Yeah, it would be easier to get help, if I didn’t hate people for being such stupid idiots, wouldn’t it? What do I do now? Whatever I do, I’ll do it alone, as always, and as it’s unlikely that it’ll kill me, well, what do I actually complain about? I’m angry and that’s difficult, because I’ve learned that it means „I’m an insensitive, ignorant, stupid, blathering berserk who runs Amok, hurts everyone and blames the telly“ from the alcoholic paternal side. I don’t know how to be angry properly, so I put it here just so that I am officially angry. I couldn’t tell you what the point of that is, but it feels like there is one. I got a car insurance bill for christmas from my father. Maybe I’m actually not angry. I feel betrayed by the pictures some people have of me and I’d like to turn into green slime and jump into their faces for that. But that would probably involve talking and I don’t see how that’s worth it. Unnecessary to say that I don’t trust anyone much. I think it’s impossible to help me, I don’t want to see anyone about anything, I haven’t worked much for three weeks, though I have a deadline that says „if you work 14 hours a day, you’ll only be two months late.“ When I saw the psychologist I didn’t work properly for two weeks, because I had appointment anxiety, and all she said was that I couldn’t expect anything to be different till way past my deadline, which happens to be the time I’ll have to move places and get a job, if I’m halfways sane at that point, so sure, I could start therapy and then break it off, so that I gain „therapy experience“. How is that good enough? Somehow I don’t believe in „therapy experience“, I believe in „traumatic therapy break off“. I can’t get help on cost of work, because work is the only reference frame I have left, it actually helps me, and I don’t want to get drugs anymore, because I don’t want to talk to people. Well, my mother isn’t dying, so I should get back to work somehow. Not sure how, given that I don’t want to think about it. I should find back to my calendar and make a list. It must work, simply because there isn’t another option. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt so fucked in my life and I’m getting too old to believe that it’ll be better one day. I’ve been editing for a couple of days, I could probably go on editing for weeks. I think it sounds like I’m inconsiderate, when being considerate is all I ever do and I’m really tired of it, so I won’t go on editing for a couple of weeks. I want others to be considerate for a change. And it doesn’t cover what I’m angry about the most. I don’t know if I could express it, if I hadn’t been asked not to talk about it, though I doubt anything I say can stop people having the wrong image of me. It’s more likely they’d just smirk and say: Haha.. that isn’t you, look here, in this picture, THAT is you.. thought you could fool me, ey?“ And then I’m just more invisible. And now, I’ll change that. Not sure if being more inconsiderate is such a good idea, but... did I just say that? I meant being more inconsiderate is a fantastic idea, of course. Alternatively I might be losing my mind. Who knows. Maxx England on "Citalopram - can't find the old thread" http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/topic/citalopram-cant-find-the-old-thread#post-191271 Wed, 07 Oct 2009 21:01:52 +0000 Maxx England 191271@http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/ Anything I should know about this stuff? Took my first one and I think I'm at risk of anaphylactic response. Dangerous allergic swellings for the those that don't know the word. fryfan20 on "bursting into tears without reason ?" http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/topic/bursting-into-tears-without-reason#post-221355 Sun, 07 Mar 2010 19:31:47 +0000 fryfan20 221355@http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/ last Friday evening I was just chilling in front of the telly and started crying for no reason and I was unable to stop for more then a hour maybe two. I was very tired but the strange thing about it all was that there was no sadness.I felt nothing really. I just was crying so loudly that a neighbour( to whom I never speak) came to my door to see if he could help me what was very sweet but I couldn't really deal with it of course and ended up closing the door again. after that I realised that I didn't really know what was up with me and that scared me. after a wile I did get some grip on myself and called my mother and asked her to come over and of course she did. I calmed down and it was pretty much all well again. but I am still not sure what happened and that bothers me quite a lot. I need to understand and I don't understand why was I crying my eyes out if I wasn't really sad ? has anyone had anything like this ? thenextfletcher on "Who took meds after they were diagnosed?" http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/topic/who-took-meds-after-they-were-diagnosed#post-199371 Fri, 30 Oct 2009 20:28:43 +0000 thenextfletcher 199371@http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/ Hi all, me again, i've seen mt psychologist and shes refered me to a psychiatrist for a diagnosis. Anyway the psychologist asked me if i would want treatment for it if i were diagnosed with it, and i asked if i could think about it. So i'm just curious what treatments were offered to you, and if you took it? gadgetgirl on "Baby steps" http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/topic/baby-steps#post-218563 Tue, 16 Feb 2010 17:26:26 +0000 gadgetgirl 218563@http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/ Hi I hope people don't mind me popping in. It's been quite a while. I somehow lost sight of why I joined in the first place which is because I was feeling shit. I'd love to say I got distracted because I was all better but that's not really true. I am just the queen of finding reasons not to confront problems. But I have been having a few more good days and it's been a bit odd, I feel like I've been sleepwalking at times, just muted and going about my life but with no joy or ideas or energy. Really mechanical. It's only the contrast of having a few good days that made me realise I didn't want to slip back into it. Anyways I have somehow finally worked up the courage to make an appointment with the local counselling services. It's just a pre-appointment to see if they can help, but it's a start. At least I think so. Kind of terrified in many ways. I think I'm mainly posting because then I can't backtrack and change my mind. Sorry, not asking for a medal or anything! I know this is old hat to most of you guys. ta for listening! spink222 on "relationships" http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/topic/relationships-1#post-217317 Sun, 07 Feb 2010 20:09:09 +0000 spink222 217317@http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/ I'm 22, finishing up college and have never had a romantic relationship since high school (partly due to developing bipolar). Now this past week I've been confronted with the possibility of a relationship, just a glimmer of hope, and yet I'm scared to start one because 1) I lack experience 2) I need something stable, not a fling and 3) I hardly think it's fair to begin a serious relationship without disclosing my illness, which would certainly scare the other person away. I don't want to swear off dating for the rest of my life, but it seems too complicated. Also, I'm pretty seriously depressed even now. Any advice? katysara on "slow" http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/topic/slow#post-202933 Mon, 09 Nov 2009 18:10:42 +0000 katysara 202933@http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/ When you're low doesn't time go so slowly? It drags. I'm all alone for a week (apart from Dr Poppy my dog) and I need you guys to help me make time pass more quickly. You know I read everything in here so keep me busy. I quit smoking, I'm on a diet... all I have is my computer right now. Ideas welcomed. I like quotes if anybody has any? KSx <img src="http://www.stephenfry.com/bb-content/plugins//bb-smilies/default/icon_neutral.gif" title=":|" class="bb_smilies" /> michael on "A Place to Express Thanks for Mr Fry's Work" http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/topic/a-place-to-express-thanks-for-mr-frys-work#post-133173 Tue, 21 Apr 2009 19:51:55 +0000 michael 133173@http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/ many visitors to this part of the forum post thank-yous to Mr Stephen Fry for his documentary the Secret Life of the Manic Depressive, for his support of mental health organizations, and for his openness. please feel free to make this space your own. this thread was started by members of this forum who wish to express their thanks. as always...with love, michael +forum _______________________________________________________ please consider what Andrew posted in the FAQs of this site: <a href="http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=85" rel="nofollow">http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=85</a> and remember that this is a public forum. comments ABOUT this thread can be posted here <a href="http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=5337" rel="nofollow">http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=5337</a> DataSherlock on "Bipolar and Chronic Headaches" http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/topic/bipolar-and-chronic-headaches#post-219505 Wed, 24 Feb 2010 16:52:26 +0000 DataSherlock 219505@http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/ Hiya I have been diagnosed with bipolar/ADHD/Chronic Headaches/Migraines and I was wondering how common the connection between bipolar and chronic headaches is. On browsing I have found there appears to be a positive correlation between chronic headaches and bipolar. Does anyone else have both? There seems to be no reason or cure for the headaches (except very strong pain killers xD) K.C. on "I am confuzzed." http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/topic/i-am-confuzzed#post-216077 Fri, 29 Jan 2010 14:21:46 +0000 K.C. 216077@http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/ Hey hey! So... sorry to sort of spring this so soon after joining the forum, but you guys obviously know a hell of a lot more than me, and I'm at a bit of a loss so it's best to ask those who have experience of these things... I've just got back from seeing a councillor, and we had a bit of an argument (I was doing most of the arguing, I admit) over medication and stuff, and she made the comment that I should consider at least trying meds, 'cos I'm doing myself more harm than good and everything, and well, I've been hypomanic for a week now, and usually it kind of fades out after a while, but after the session I just feel really really angry, and I don't know what to do with myself. I still feel really happy and everything and although I'm struggling to concentrate I'm still getting stuff done, but I'm just starting to get really aggravated over nothing. People keep talking to me or calling me and I'm having to try really hard not to tell them get lost and leave me alone, and even when they're being nice it feels so fake and like they're just trying to keep me happy, it's making me want to scream and shout, and tell them, pardon the language, to f**ck off and leave me alone. Sorry about the wall of text... I just don't get it... I've never had anything like this, it's always been so clear cut, either over the moon, depressed or just normal... I don't have much middle ground, but I've never felt so furious when things are going so well, you know?