The New Adventures of Mr Stephen Fry » Topic: Ballads of danny wise

The New Adventures of Mr Stephen Fry » Topic: Ballads of danny wise http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/topic/ballads-of-danny-wise Just another bbPress community en-US Thu, 20 Jun 2013 09:22:13 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/search.php Barry Rosenthal on "Ballads of danny wise" http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/topic/ballads-of-danny-wise/page/2#post-269755 Sun, 01 May 2011 21:05:30 +0000 Barry Rosenthal 269755@http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/ I've enjoyed the previous takes on this wonderful exercise. Here's an even more belated attempt to resolve the mystery of Annabelle. The Ballad of Danny Wise Now gather round and let me tell The tale of Danny Wise And how his sweet wife Annabelle Did suck out both his eyes And if I tell the story true And if I tell it clear There's not a mortal one of you Who'll shriek in mortal fear They met at night inside a club That called itself Temptations Where Annabelle was with her friends They danced and made gyrations This caught the eye of Danny Wise Her dance had charmed his heart Sweet Annabelle, she caught his yearn And Cupid fired his dart She gave him such a gentle smile This caused his heart to melt They met inside the great dance floor Oh, how much he felt! The DJ played his best love song That cast out all its charms And Danny took sweet Annabelle Into his loving arms They moved into a quiet corner She purred and cooed at him And Danny fell into a trance In the light so dim Danny yearned and longed some more He gave her loving looks Sweet Annabelle thought to herself “In him, I have my hooks” He had that quality she sought Which struck her deepest chord This caused her inner core to wake “With him I won’t be bored” Danny gave his heart and flowers And then a diamond ring He made his solemn vows to her His heart began to sing For Annabelle, the consummation With her Danny Wise Would not be done until she sank Two ice picks in his eyes She sucked them out and swallowed them These windows to his soul Enraptured so, was Annabelle Her Danny paid his toll See all her men in serial And let there be no doubt Sweet Annabelle is most alive When romance gets snuffed out JamesMcloughlin on "Ballads of danny wise" http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/topic/ballads-of-danny-wise/page/2#post-263749 Tue, 01 Feb 2011 01:24:49 +0000 JamesMcloughlin 263749@http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/ A little late to the party, I must admit, but here's my take on the exercise from Stephen's brilliant book! Now gather round and let me tell the tale of Danny Wise: And how his sweet wife Annabelle did suck out both his eyes. And if I tell the story true And if I tell it clear, There’s not a mortal one of you Won’t shriek in mortal fear. It starts one day in Southport town, not far from where you sit, I’ll tell you how the deed went down, but it’s rather explicit The graveyard where they made their vows was hung with heavy fog, the dew was dripping from her blouse, as he did her like a dog. All was well, and all was fine, and all was coming grand, ‘til Danny with his eye did spy, the mole on Annie’s hand So slow and sure his heart did sink, and his dick began to droop, no matter how he tried to think his standing soldier stooped Annie screamed, she screamed for more, but Danny had lost the game, to the mole he’d never spied before, and said he: ‘never again’. Well that was it, and he was done, for hell hath fury not, he pulled it out, with haste did run, from Annie and her bot She gave him chase and gave it good, as hard as he could run, she caught up fast, the scent of blood, shot her like a gun, She bore down quick and bore down fast, in chase of Danny unWise, he ran and ran but then at last, he tripped and fell, surprised, and Danny’s sweet wife Annabelle, did hover at his side, and like a hoover out of hell, she sucked out both his eyes. So the tale at last comes to a close, I hope you made it through, there’s one thing to remember though: moles are bad for you, So if you catch a sneaky sight of one perched on your arm, you best get down the doctor’s right, or you could come to harm. Read more: <a href="http://hellopoetry.com/poem/the-ballad-of-danny-wise/#ixzz1Cf7BKmgv" rel="nofollow">http://hellopoetry.com/poem/the-ballad-of-danny-wise/#ixzz1Cf7BKmgv</a> JamesMcloughlin on "Ballads of danny wise" http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/topic/ballads-of-danny-wise/page/2#post-263747 Tue, 01 Feb 2011 01:24:14 +0000 JamesMcloughlin 263747@http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/ A little late to the party, I must admit, but here's my take on the exercise from Stephen's brilliant book! Now gather round and let me tell the tale of Danny Wise: And how his sweet wife Annabelle did suck out both his eyes. And if I tell the story true And if I tell it clear, There’s not a mortal one of you Won’t shriek in mortal fear. It starts one day in Southport town, not far from where you sit, I’ll tell you how the deed went down, but it’s rather explicit The graveyard where they made their vows was hung with heavy fog, the dew was dripping from her blouse, as he did her like a dog. All was well, and all was fine, and all was coming grand, ‘til Danny with his eye did spy, the mole on Annie’s hand So slow and sure his heart did sink, and his dick began to droop, no matter how he tried to think his standing soldier stooped Annie screamed, she screamed for more, but Danny had lost the game, to the mole he’d never spied before, and said he: ‘never again’. Well that was it, and he was done, for hell hath fury not, he pulled it out, with haste did run, from Annie and her bot She gave him chase and gave it good, as hard as he could run, she caught up fast, the scent of blood, shot her like a gun, She bore down quick and bore down fast, in chase of Danny unWise, he ran and ran but then at last, he tripped and fell, surprised, and Danny’s sweet wife Annabelle, did hover at his side, and like a hoover out of hell, she sucked out both his eyes. So the tale at last comes to a close, I hope you made it through, there’s one thing to remember though: moles are bad for you, So if you catch a sneaky sight of one perched on your arm, you best get down the doctor’s right, or you could come to harm. Read more: <a href="http://hellopoetry.com/poem/the-ballad-of-danny-wise/#ixzz1Cf7BKmgv" rel="nofollow">http://hellopoetry.com/poem/the-ballad-of-danny-wise/#ixzz1Cf7BKmgv</a> spiralthreads on "Ballads of danny wise" http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/topic/ballads-of-danny-wise#post-50879 Wed, 30 Jan 2008 12:17:01 +0000 spiralthreads 50879@http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/ Right then, I've gone back to the instructions for this exercise and the brief is to have fun with the form, not to worry too much about rhyme or meter (although there's nothing wrong with a little perfection, I say, if that suits your intent). The scansion gets lost twice in my version: once when Annabelle first learns of Danny's wandering eye, and again when the gypsy admits triumphantly that it was just a lie - pebbles in a diamond brooch, you might say. The point is that Annabelle, sweet and mild, is a control freak and gets driven to extreme action when her world is not perfectly orderly - evidence her desire to consult a fortune teller about her husband: she needed to know what was ahead and could not trust to chance. The slight chaos in the stanzas reflects her state of mind. Now - how did you get on with the villanelle? spiralthreads on "Ballads of danny wise" http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/topic/ballads-of-danny-wise#post-50763 Tue, 29 Jan 2008 12:08:01 +0000 spiralthreads 50763@http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/ Hmmmm will have to think about that. There's another verse I had scribbled seperately that needs adding in, so I'll have another look at that stanza at the same time. I just finished writing the heroic verse for exercise 13. That really was fun! It needs more editing yet, but the main body is in custody. paul harris on "Ballads of danny wise" http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/topic/ballads-of-danny-wise#post-50728 Mon, 28 Jan 2008 23:14:35 +0000 paul harris 50728@http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/ like it...doing violence by domestic appliance..... can I suggest..... third stanza from the end line 2 maybe "you should not short change me" line 4 she cried in victory ... or something.... to help the scansion there? take care now <img src="http://www.stephenfry.com/bb-content/plugins//bb-smilies/default/icon_biggrin.gif" title=":D" class="bb_smilies" /> spiralthreads on "Ballads of danny wise" http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/topic/ballads-of-danny-wise#post-50723 Mon, 28 Jan 2008 21:51:59 +0000 spiralthreads 50723@http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/ Just edited my version up above somewhere <img src="http://www.stephenfry.com/bb-content/plugins//bb-smilies/default/icon_cool.gif" title="8)" class="bb_smilies" /> spiralthreads on "Ballads of danny wise" http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/topic/ballads-of-danny-wise#post-49272 Sat, 19 Jan 2008 22:18:12 +0000 spiralthreads 49272@http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/ Thank you Paul <img src="http://www.stephenfry.com/bb-content/plugins//bb-smilies/default/icon_smile.gif" title=":)" class="bb_smilies" /> and good luck to you too. paul harris on "Ballads of danny wise" http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/topic/ballads-of-danny-wise#post-49225 Sat, 19 Jan 2008 16:03:40 +0000 paul harris 49225@http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/ it sort of gets in yr head that bounce i've tidied up mine in terms of meter the exercises are very good - i hope you enjoy them & good luck with yr novel too X-D spiralthreads on "Ballads of danny wise" http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/topic/ballads-of-danny-wise#post-49216 Sat, 19 Jan 2008 14:23:57 +0000 spiralthreads 49216@http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/ "But it silver face shone in his eyes " Incidentally, I loved the beautiful imagery of the moon in his eyes - very visual. Cherubino's Annabelle was quite scary, wasn't she. Good bounce to the meter too. I realised today that I've actually written a bona fide ballad before. It was something I constructed for my daughter when she was small. Fancy that - I thought it was just a nursery type rhyme. <img src="http://www.stephenfry.com/bb-content/plugins//bb-smilies/default/icon_confused.gif" title=":?" class="bb_smilies" /> paul harris on "Ballads of danny wise" http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/topic/ballads-of-danny-wise#post-49198 Sat, 19 Jan 2008 11:45:02 +0000 paul harris 49198@http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/ do tell <img src="http://www.stephenfry.com/bb-content/plugins//bb-smilies/default/icon_smile.gif" title=":)" class="bb_smilies" /> spiralthreads on "Ballads of danny wise" http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/topic/ballads-of-danny-wise#post-49195 Sat, 19 Jan 2008 11:39:28 +0000 spiralthreads 49195@http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/ Yes, I realised the rhyme errors after posting. There are some other problems with it, apart from the secretive suction question, but we have to start somewhere, don't we. It will be resolved, hopefully on the second draft. You actually got it freshly picked, errors and all. I'll leave it now until I get to the relevant chapter as I'm supposed to be working on a novel. Your ballad, by the way, was nicely stomach churning, but there's still a proofing error in there <img src="http://www.stephenfry.com/bb-content/plugins//bb-smilies/default/icon_wink.gif" title=";-)" class="bb_smilies" /> . paul harris on "Ballads of danny wise" http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/topic/ballads-of-danny-wise#post-49174 Sat, 19 Jan 2008 01:46:42 +0000 paul harris 49174@http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/ pretty groovy I'd like a verse about how the eye/hoover thing actually happened . . . ballads usually cross rhyme: lines 1,3 and 2,4 ... like stephen's first two - i'm sure you'll see that when you get to that bit in the book.. it's habit forming too spiralthreads on "Ballads of danny wise" http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/topic/ballads-of-danny-wise#post-49173 Sat, 19 Jan 2008 01:30:27 +0000 spiralthreads 49173@http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/ Isn't it funny how all the faults glow like fireflies as soon as a piece is posted spiralthreads on "Ballads of danny wise" http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/topic/ballads-of-danny-wise#post-49172 Sat, 19 Jan 2008 01:27:00 +0000 spiralthreads 49172@http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/ The Ballad of Danny Wise Now gather round and let me tell The tale of Danny Wise: And how his sweet wife Annabelle Did suck out both his eyes. And if I tell the story true And if I tell it clear Then not a mortal one of you Won’t shriek in mortal fear. Now Annabelle, a simple soul, Did love her Danny so And went to see a gypsy girl, His fortune for to know. She crossed the gypsy’s palm with brass, For silver had she none; Not knowing what would come to pass Because of what she’d done. The angry gypsy hid her ire ’Neath smiles and honeyed sighs. Revenge was now her one desire Against young Annabelle Wise. “Sweet lady, it is clear to me You love your husband true And such a trusting soul you be I’ll tell you what you must do. Your Danny has a wandering eye,” She warned poor Annabelle, “And if this is not rectified He’ll surely go to hell.” Alarmed, the poor bride hurried home, Her heart filled with dismay. She must not let her Danny roam. She had to find a way! The fear of their love sundering Did set the maid to think. His eyes could not go wandering If they were not able to blink. To help her think, she cleaned the house From bottom to the top; And not until her Dan came home Did Anna think to stop. She held the hoover like a mace When he walked in, surprised, She pushed it up against his face And sucked out both his eyes. To keep his eyes for her alone, To save him from himself, She placed them in a pickle jar Upon the pantry shelf. So now you know the dreadful tale Of poor young Danny Wise And how his sweet wife Annabelle Did suck out both his eyes. Now Annabelle is all alone For Danny left soon after, And as he stumbled out of town She heard the gypsy’s laughter. “Tight fisted girl,” the gypsy cried, “I’ll teach you not to short change me. He did not roam, you see, I lied! And now I have revenged me.” But that was not the final word The young wife was not done She gripped her vacuum like a sword And stole the gypsy’s tongue. <img src="http://www.stephenfry.com/bb-content/plugins//bb-smilies/default/icon_eek.gif" title="8-O" class="bb_smilies" /> <img src="http://www.stephenfry.com/bb-content/plugins//bb-smilies/default/icon_razz.gif" title=":P" class="bb_smilies" />