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katysara


Moderator

Posted Mon May 24th, 2010 2:48am Post subject: A place for carers

Tim welcome to our little section of the Stephen Fry forum, OF COURSE you are WELCOME. You are welcomed with open arms and people here willl try to help. Cappa knows what it is like to care for someone with bipolar, and there is a great guy called Toby whose mum had bipolar disorder. The rest of us will do our best to try and see it from your perspective.

I am sorry to read about your mum you must really struggle with it but you must not blame yourself, or your mum for that matter. You blame the bast*rd disease.

I'm going to add some links. Many bipolar people self-medicate so please do not be offended that I have included some websites like that in case you are dealing with that too. Apart from the 1st one these are not in order of preference, they are quite anally in alphabetical order!!!!!!!!

My website: http://www.katysaraculling.com/
There are more links there too.

Alcoholics Anonymous (Global).
Website: http://www.aa.org/
(you can look up carers groups here).

Mind (National Association for Mental Health) UK based
0845 7660163
Website: http://www.mind.org.uk/

National Alliance for the Mentally Ill
Website: http://www.nami.org/

The Samaritans
Website: http://www.samaritans.org/
Phone: 08457 909090

SANE (UK)
Website: http://www.sane.org.uk/

NICE: National Institute of Clinical Excellence, National Health Service, (UK).
Website: http://www.nice.org.uk/

Narcotics Anonymous (Global).
Website: http://www.na.org/

National Institute of Mental Health (USA)
Website: http://www.nimh.nih.gov/

That should keep you going!

Hugs,
KSx

I am an administrator on this site.

"Having a great intellect is no path to being happy."
~ Stephen Fry

See my website: www.katysaraculling.com

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Timothy Grayson


Member

Posted Mon May 24th, 2010 12:41pm Post subject: A place for carers

Thank you, katysara, for your support, kind words and that very comprehensive list!

Take care of yourself,

Tim

Writing for the page in his own preferred style of poetic story-telling verse, Timothy Grayson is a poet, playwright and international representative for the English Poetry Brothel. He is a member of the Decadent Romantics with Steven Silverman and Nathan Lunt, and has worked alongside various professional organisations such as the BBC, Royal Society of Literature, Metro Newspaper, FD2D Magazine and Leicester Comedy Festival.

Selected works by T. Grayson

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Cappa180


Member

Posted Mon May 24th, 2010 4:03pm Post subject: A place for carers

Yes i definatly understand how you feel,my partner has bipolar type 2 recently diagnosed after suffering for years-finally got the right meds i hope.Never feel guilty,you're probably trying to do all you can for your mother-often times i cry too.Will talk soon(one busy lady at mo.)
Take Care
Cx


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Vampyros


Member

Posted Sun May 30th, 2010 6:01pm Post subject: A place for carers

Well done to the missus for this thread. I know you were a little worried about posting, I am really proud of you and thank you for always being there even in the darkest times,

I love you very much,
Thank you for making turning 40 fun.
Still Alive
Still in Love

Vx

The Katy Sara Culling Tribute is ready in e-Book form http://chipmunkapublishing.co.uk/shop/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=2326 Charity/Bipolar

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katysara


Moderator

Posted Sun May 30th, 2010 11:13pm Post subject: A place for carers

HAPPY 40TH V XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I am an administrator on this site.

"Having a great intellect is no path to being happy."
~ Stephen Fry

See my website: www.katysaraculling.com

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Vampyros


Member

Posted Sun May 30th, 2010 11:16pm Post subject: A place for carers

Thanks - actually had a bit of cry tonight but Cath helped me out. Talked it out for a change. Mum and Dad keep using me as piggy in the middle.

Piggy is the appropriate word as it's all about how I look - like that matters at the moment.

Well like I said talked it out - now chilling with loud music on the headphones.

Take care KS - we are always here for you.
Vampyros
XXX

The Katy Sara Culling Tribute is ready in e-Book form http://chipmunkapublishing.co.uk/shop/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=2326 Charity/Bipolar

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tito


Member *

Posted Sun May 30th, 2010 11:34pm Post subject: A place for carers

Happy 40th birthday too V xxxx

Good to see you back xxx


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Vampyros


Member

Posted Tue Jun 1st, 2010 9:53am Post subject: A place for carers

Thank You - Missed you all very much and your continued support is very very welcome.

Vx

The Katy Sara Culling Tribute is ready in e-Book form http://chipmunkapublishing.co.uk/shop/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=2326 Charity/Bipolar

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Mozphoto


Member

Posted Sun Jun 6th, 2010 6:22pm Post subject: A place for carers

Hi.

Shit, this is difficult. I've gotten to the point where, I suppose, this will be my equivalent of whispering down a well at midnight.

My fiance is bi-polar. I love her so much. In so many ways she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. She is the first person in my life that has ever truly cared for me for no other reason than that she genuinely wants to. Considering that we are in our 40's and it has taken this long to find one another, you can imagine what a rare gem I think she is.

I'm starting by praising the crap out of her so that it doesn't sound like I'm looking for the door (though who it is I'm trying to convince of that is still unclear to me) because what comes next is probably going to sound just like that.

You see, Her condition is pretty bad. To be fair, the fact that she has fibro, epilepsy, and spinal damage (the nasty mixture of an enraged ex-husband and a baseball-bat) probably makes the whole mess ten times worse for her. She has to take a ridiculous number of pills, four times a day, every day. To make matters worse, a while back, she was attacked by a neighbor. He tried to strangle her. I tried very hard to protect her. Too hard. I nearly killed the guy. The only witnesses to the incident only saw the part where I came in and not the initial attack. I suppose that the police really can't be blamed to harshly. A guy lying in the snow bleeding to death, two people next door screaming "they did it", me with only a few bruises, and her physically, relatively unscathed, cowering in a corner and screaming. Look at it like that, yeah, they arrested us.

The past 2 years have been hellish for me. I can't even begin to imagine what it's done to her mentally. However, it has made things worse. The periods of sleep deprivation have become longer. When she does finally crash, she actually fights it (though she refuses to admit it). I'll find her unconscious, face down, in bed, on the coffee table, in the kitchen, on the toilet, (G-d help me) in the cat's litter box, sometimes with a cigarette still in her mouth. When I try to rouse her or just get her into bed, she's in this half waking state, where she will deny that she's tired or passing out and then begin too berate me for trying to control her life, in a very vehement and vulgar manner. At some point she'll finally sleep for a whole day or so, and when she wakes up is her wonderful self, but can't remember anything of the past 2-6 days.

There's more. Right now though, I feel wrenched enough. I'll probably vent some more later.


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Mozphoto


Member

Posted Sun Jun 6th, 2010 6:23pm Post subject: A place for carers

Hi.

Shit, this is difficult. I've gotten to the point where, I suppose, this will be my equivalent of whispering down a well at midnight.

My fiance is bi-polar. I love her so much. In so many ways she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. She is the first person in my life that has ever truly cared for me for no other reason than that she genuinely wants to. Considering that we are in our 40's and it has taken this long to find one another, you can imagine what a rare gem I think she is.

I'm starting by praising the crap out of her so that it doesn't sound like I'm looking for the door (though who it is I'm trying to convince of that is still unclear to me) because what comes next is probably going to sound just like that.

You see, Her condition is pretty bad. To be fair, the fact that she has fibro, epilepsy, and spinal damage (the nasty mixture of an enraged ex-husband and a baseball-bat) probably makes the whole mess ten times worse for her. She has to take a ridiculous number of pills, four times a day, every day. To make matters worse, a while back, she was attacked by a neighbor. He tried to strangle her. I tried very hard to protect her. Too hard. I nearly killed the guy. The only witnesses to the incident only saw the part where I came in and not the initial attack. I suppose that the police really can't be blamed to harshly. A guy lying in the snow bleeding to death, two people next door screaming "they did it", me with only a few bruises, and her physically, relatively unscathed, cowering in a corner and screaming. Look at it like that, yeah, they arrested us.

The past 2 years have been hellish for me. I can't even begin to imagine what it's done to her mentally. However, it has made things worse. The periods of sleep deprivation have become longer. When she does finally crash, she actually fights it (though she refuses to admit it). I'll find her unconscious, face down, in bed, on the coffee table, in the kitchen, on the toilet, (G-d help me) in the cat's litter box, sometimes with a cigarette still in her mouth. When I try to rouse her or just get her into bed, she's in this half waking state, where she will deny that she's tired or passing out and then begin too berate me for trying to control her life, in a very vehement and vulgar manner. At some point she'll finally sleep for a whole day or so, and when she wakes up is her wonderful self, but can't remember anything of the past 2-6 days.

There's more. Right now though, I feel wrenched enough. I'll probably vent some more later.


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katysara


Moderator

Posted Sun Jun 6th, 2010 8:56pm Post subject: A place for carers

Hi Mozphoto,

WELCOME to our forum. I hope we can help you. Your story is heart-breaking, though I hope the love you have for each other keeps you together it will not be an easy journey. I too have bipolar "pretty bad" but in recent years have got as good a grip on it as I think will be possible. Even with all my medications ~(31 pills a night) I still have mood swings greater than anyone I know. I also think that maybe your girlfriend might be able to find better treatment than she is currently on, clearly what she is on now is not working and there are some good meds out there that are worth trying. Of course I don't know what she has tried already... or what she is on now, but it is obviously a complex case. How often does she see a psychiatrist?

Please feel free to continue your story at any point, and if you want a more private conversation feel free to PM me.

KSx

I am an administrator on this site.

"Having a great intellect is no path to being happy."
~ Stephen Fry

See my website: www.katysaraculling.com

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Mozphoto


Member

Posted Sun Jun 6th, 2010 11:08pm Post subject: A place for carers

Katysara

Sadly, the last shrink she was seeing was only interested in our legal issues. Wasn't really interested in talking to her. It is actually quite difficult for her in that respect. Her GP has scaled back his practice to secialise only in chronic pain and so only deals with her fibro and spinal issues. She's tried several others and they all refuse to handle her. She keeps being told to go to walk-in clinics. So she can't even get refered to a shrink until she has a GP and no GP will touch her. I don't know how things work in the UK, but Canada is a little different.


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katysara


Moderator

Posted Mon Jun 7th, 2010 3:22am Post subject: A place for carers

So her GP dealing with pain/spinal injuries wont refer her to a psych? That's criminal!!!

I know Canada well, have family there (Ottowa - Oakhurst Farm), but don't know how the medical system works. Is she not on any bipolar meds at all then? Do these walk in clinics provide any form of psych care? Care that involves a prescription that your GP can continue to prescribe? Sorry I am feeling quite angry on your and her behalves right now!

KSx

I am an administrator on this site.

"Having a great intellect is no path to being happy."
~ Stephen Fry

See my website: www.katysaraculling.com

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Mozphoto


Member

Posted Tue Jun 8th, 2010 1:11am Post subject: A place for carers

Oh no, she is still on BP meds (among others). Her (now) rheumatologist (sp?) did try to refer her to one psychiatrist but his waiting list ended up being over a year long. Walk-ins generally will refer you to CAMH (Centre for Addiction and Mental Health) which is little more than a glorified asylum. The former GP is still prescribing all her meds for time being but because of the draconian pot laws in the Great White North (at least it is "legal" here so I shouldn't complain too much), he is under constant scrutiny by the Ministry of Health and so is urging her to find a GP to deal with all her other meds so that he only supplies her with pain med Rx.

The other massive difficulty is that our assault trial is still pending , so we have to tread ever so carefully about her mental condition as the prosecution could use it as ammunition.

Oh joy. Oh bliss.


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Vampyros


Member

Posted Wed Jun 9th, 2010 5:31pm Post subject: A place for carers

Cappa will be back to reply to you soon but cannot use the computer at the moment as her migrains are so bad.

She wishes you all well.

She will however have a worse migrain if she does not stop calling me her chipette (I have tonsilitis and she says I reminder her of the chipette's from Alvin and the Chipmonks - actually I am not that cute !!!)

Vx

The Katy Sara Culling Tribute is ready in e-Book form http://chipmunkapublishing.co.uk/shop/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=2326 Charity/Bipolar

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