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Posted Sun May 20th, 2012 9:56pm Post subject: A Walk Through My Mind As Now

You could call this a poem, but call it what you like…I’m abit of a loss cause.

My mind has been overworked with the same questions and one doesn't know how to deal with the same recurrences or how to interpret them.
A vicious circle.
My head is overloaded and about to explode.
I only need the rest to reassure me, or does the elevated tension bug me again and again?...Restlessness
I now understand the term ‘worried sick’ I am sure I’ve thrown up within my mind or suggested it in my own way.
Is this the hell you go through to understand yourself?
I can say I’m not depressed but I cannot concentrate at all.
I’m engulfed in absolute tiredness.
My brain is thinking up new answers, new alternatives, and too many choices to the same questions that cannot be pushed aside so easily.
My brain in its defense has blocked my constant thinking.
That’s the cloud of not understanding and with it makes you ask for more in your curiosity entering the vicious circle once again without realizing it.
It can be a harmful addiction

Tiredness is an understatement
Is It that my brain is trying to run away from me?
The awkward pain, for which is merely not pain but uncomfortableness.
Or perhaps a Sharpe pressure?
Has all this become ritualistic, obsessive and self abusive?
The fault is my own and where are my life pills or “placebos”

I am self absorbed and everyone is too
Relaxation is temporary freedom and sleep comes to you without you even realizing it.
I have been swallowed by my own self importance, but not intentionally, it’s a trap!
My brain is swollen and damaged and it needs healing, so does my sense of self that should come to light.
I’m not just awkward on the outside but inside I am too.

I wrote this a week ago when I was majorly stressed and exhausted...

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