I personally feel that I am intelligent enough to understand myself, analytical enough to dissect my vehement ranting then closeted inhibitive denial of my very existence.
But it seems that at the age of 37, I am only getting worse. I have attempted to utilise my own form of cognitive therapy and work solidly toward those things that make me happy. But then, in retrospect I find that I go too far, and I find myself hitting the self destruct button and causing pain to all around me.
So, having never been to any mental health professional in my life, nor even having ever spoken about this frustrating and diabolically debilitating problem, I find I am at a point where I need to speak to anyone about it. I attempt to speak to my wife, but she seems to think I am just ‘mental’. Her choice of words obviously are painful to me, but I laugh and shrug it off in an attempt quell this denial she has and for the sake of my marriage. I love her so much.
Therein lay my conundrum; I have no idea where I stand in all of this.
Obviously I have read posts on here, sticky’s and the like. But I am frightened to find the truth, to have it rubber stamped on a piece of paper, to be filed, categorised, lumped in, shepherded off and dealt with. Is this normal?