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l353a1


Member

Posted Thu Mar 29th, 2007 12:56am Post subject: Amusing quotes
I'm new here, so I thought I'd start off by contributing a quote that I like.

Apparently Eva Peron was appearing in public in front of a large crowd. Someone shouted out something and Peron heard it. With a face like thunder, she turned to the elderly diplomat next to her and said "Someone called me a whore!" The old man shrugged his shoulders and said "I haven't been on a ship in twenty years and they still call me Admiral..."

Blaise

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Flossy


Member

Posted Thu Mar 29th, 2007 1:17am Post subject: Amusing quotes
Although I though he was a complete facist I do enjoy some of Winston Churchill's drunken retorts, such as........

At a party..............

Fine Lady says, "Sir you are drunk!"

Winston replys, "Madame you are ugly, but tommorow I will be sober!".

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joan


Member

Posted Thu Mar 29th, 2007 6:54am Post subject: Amusing quotes
A former Labour PM of Australia is pretty good with the inventive insult. His latest was to acuse the current treasurer as being "All tip and no iceberg" but I rather liked one from the early 90s about his Tory opposite number "(His performance) is like being flogged with a warm lettuce."

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dreamweaver


Member

Posted Thu Mar 29th, 2007 9:59am Post subject: Amusing quotes
I love Oscar Wilde, here are a couple I can remember - not necessarily funny, but can raise a wry smile.

"Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. "

"A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her. "

"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months"

"Morality, like art, means drawing a line someplace. "

"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation. "

"One can survive everything, nowadays, except death, and live down everything except a good reputation. "

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Fryphile


Member *

Posted Thu Mar 29th, 2007 2:47pm Post subject: Amusing quotes
Although I though he was a complete facist I do enjoy some of Winston Churchill's drunken retorts, such as........

At a party..............

Fine Lady says, "Sir you are drunk!"

Winston replys, "Madame you are ugly, but tommorow I will be sober!".

I remember another one of Churchill's. A woman said something like, "If you were my husband, I'd put poison in your tea!"

And Churchill mused, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

As House would say, "Oooh, SNAP!"

I think of myself as someone who is filled with love, whose only purpose in life was to achieve love. - Stephen Fry

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Flossy


Member

Posted Thu Mar 29th, 2007 2:50pm Post subject: Amusing quotes

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meekychuppet


Member

Posted Thu Mar 29th, 2007 6:29pm Post subject: Amusing quotes
God. The bastard.

- Samuel Beckett.

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boffinbabe12


Member

Posted Thu Mar 29th, 2007 7:00pm Post subject: Amusing quotes
I agree with everything you say, but I would attack to the death your right to say it. ~Thomas Stoppard

I always have a different funny quote as my message thing on an IM... but nobody ever reads them. I love Quotations Page .com!!!

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trouser material


Member

Posted Thu Mar 29th, 2007 7:35pm Post subject: Amusing quotes
A former Labour PM of Australia is pretty good with the inventive insult. His latest was to acuse the current treasurer as being "All tip and no iceberg" but I rather liked one from the early 90s about his Tory opposite number "(His performance) is like being flogged with a warm lettuce."

There's a fantastic sequence of insults from the aforementioned Australian PM in Bill Bryson's book Down Under. X-D

Some of the phrases that man created were pure diamonds.

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boffinbabe12


Member

Posted Thu Mar 29th, 2007 9:49pm Post subject: Amusing quotes
The other day I bought a George Bush quote poster. X-D He's such an intelligent man!

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Flossy


Member

Posted Thu Mar 29th, 2007 9:55pm Post subject: Amusing quotes
Not quite in the realms of funny but interesting none the less...

"An expert is someone who knows more and more about less and less!"

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AxmxZ


Moderator

Posted Thu Mar 29th, 2007 10:04pm Post subject: Amusing quotes
A former Labour PM of Australia is pretty good with the inventive insult. His latest was to acuse the current treasurer as being "All tip and no iceberg" but I rather liked one from the early 90s about his Tory opposite number "(His performance) is like being flogged with a warm lettuce."

There's a fantastic sequence of insults from the aforementioned Australian PM in Bill Bryson's book Down Under. X-D

Some of the phrases that man created were pure diamonds.

There are several politicians like that in Russia. Actually, there are two kinds of quotable politicians in Russian: ones like Gorbachev, who incessantly amused the populace with his dialect-rich, ungrammatical and comically misemphasized speech (not at all unlike Dubya, oddly enough) and Chernomyrdin, who says odd things that can be interpreted as either extremely incisive witticisms or as serendipitous linguistic accidents. The most famous of those has to be "Hoteli kak luchshe, a poluchilos' kak vsegda" - something like "We meant to do better, but it turned out as always."

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ClareBear


Moderator

Posted Thu Mar 29th, 2007 10:22pm Post subject: Amusing quotes
"The artist formerly known as Gimp"

Someone referring to House in.....House.

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AxmxZ


Moderator

Posted Thu Mar 29th, 2007 10:24pm Post subject: Amusing quotes
"The artist formerly known as Gimp"

Someone referring to House in.....House.

Heh. Yeah. It's distressingly rare that anyone other than House gets to get a bon mot in.

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healing angel


Member

Posted Fri Jul 20th, 2007 8:18am Post subject: Amusing quotes
In Australia we have a few colourful sayings which are very earthy.
Eg " Pigs arse". if you think some thing is untrue or if one objects to some thing. X-D

If one finds the food is off or a person is rather ugly the expression "off like a bucket of prawns in the hot sun" in acceptable.

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