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Flossy


Member

Posted Fri Jul 20th, 2007 9:52am Post subject: Amusing quotes
An unusual, but popular saying in the north of England for someone who is ugly is.........

"He/she has a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp!"

Or, I have heard my wife say, when exppressing her randyness.......

"It's biting my leg!"

Or, if someone has a miserable face.......

"He/she has a face like a bag of smacked twats!"

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absolutely curtains


Member

Posted Fri Jul 20th, 2007 10:03am Post subject: Amusing quotes
Welcome back Flossy - unless you were never actually away and I just kept missing you.

X-D, I must use the "bag of smacked twats" as much as I can.

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Flossy


Member

Posted Fri Jul 20th, 2007 10:24am Post subject: Amusing quotes
Been exrtemely busy of late what with organising a rock festival in the middle of my local town and changing the singer in my band and being ill with flu and re-entering the labour party to fight the new Brown tendency and getting ready to go on holiday next week and trying to find work and a bit of eating and breathing in between!

But still, musn't complain!

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Anonymous


Unregistered

Posted Fri Jul 20th, 2007 11:51am Post subject: Amusing quotes
One of my all time favorites, was a quote from Stephen himself on the Parkinson Show.

I’m writing this from memory, but this was the general gist of the conversation.

Michael Parkinson (To Larry Hagman): “Actually Larry you have an interesting story about how you started smoking.”

Larry Hagman (Reluctantly): “Mmm. Yes !”

Michael Parkinson: “Would you perhaps like to tell us about it ?”

Larry Hagman (Sheepishly): “Not really. But I guess I’m going to have to. Oh well, when I was at school a girl I liked said that if I smoked a cigarette, I could put my hand on her breast. (laughter) I smoked for 20 years after that.”

Stephen Fry (as quick as a flash): “Ah.. So you became a thirty breast a day man.”

A quote I remember to this day.

Anyway, catch yas.

Pete

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Soupy Twist


Member

Posted Fri Jul 20th, 2007 11:54am Post subject: Amusing quotes
One of my all time favorites, was a quote from Stephen himself on the Parkinson Show.

I’m writing this from memory, but this was the general gist of the conversation.

Michael Parkinson (To Larry Hagman): “Actually Larry you have an interesting story about how you started smoking.”

Larry Hagman (Reluctantly): “Mmm. Yes !”

Michael Parkinson: “Would you perhaps like to tell us about it ?”

Larry Hagman (Sheepishly): “Not really. But I guess I’m going to have to. Oh well, when I was at school a girl I liked said that if I smoked a cigarette, I could put my hand on her breast. (laughter) I smoked for 20 years after that.”

Stephen Fry (as quick as a flash): “Ah.. So you became a thirty breast a day man.”

A quote I remember to this day.

Anyway, catch yas.

Pete

*lol* What a peculiar offer, though...

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Gertrude Susanne


Member

Posted Fri Jul 20th, 2007 12:00pm Post subject: Amusing quotes

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Anonymous


Unregistered

Posted Fri Jul 20th, 2007 12:12pm Post subject: Amusing quotes

*lol* What a peculiar offer, though...
Incredible offer. Parki had to lure it out of Larry.
Stephens reply.... Well, I remember having to be picked up off the floor.

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healing angel


Member

Posted Sat Jul 21st, 2007 6:41am Post subject: Amusing quotes
I always refer to a lady toyshop owner as Mrs Drop- pie to my kids.
Reason being every time you see her she never smiles. She has a face like a dropped pie.

When encountering an angry menopausal woman at work one day my boss
came to me to complain about her. I replied that "she aught to up her HRT before being unleashed on the public". Sound familiar folks there is always one we know isn't there?

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given2fly


Member

Posted Wed Oct 3rd, 2007 11:25pm Post subject: Amusing quotes
There are many sayings in regional Scottish dialects that i've heard over the years which have brought a smile to my face; if not because they're funny, because of their quaintness.

awa in bile yer heid!

yer nae a' that an a bag o' tatties! - translation of 'you aint all that and a bag of potato chips!'

Get thee away ta' fuck!

Yer breeks are fa 'in doon - your trousers are falling down.

There's also a line from that eminent scottish poet William Topaz Mcgonagall, in one of his poems, which i've always found quite amusing:

On yonder brae there stood a coo
It must hae goan cos it's no there noo

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ysabella


Member

Posted Wed Oct 3rd, 2007 11:38pm Post subject: Amusing quotes
I heard a guy on the radio last night talking about aphorisms: you can play what I heard on this page since NPR does such a nice job of their web site.

I'm not at all sure that I ever realize that there's a difference between an aphorism, a platitude, and a proverb. I probably picked up a subtle distinction just from context, but if someone asked me to explain, I probably couldn't. The guy they had on also has worked on classifying types of aphorisms.The only type he mentioned was, if I remember right, something like "chiasm" which leads me to find chiasmus. Yeah, that was basically it - reversing something in a clever way. His example was Mae West's saying: "It's not the man in your life, it's the life in your man."

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boffinbabe12


Member

Posted Thu Oct 4th, 2007 8:08pm Post subject: Amusing quotes
I hope you're adaptable Dr Scott. i know Brad is. ~ Frank N Furter, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Richard O' Brian

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cakebelly


Member

Posted Fri Oct 5th, 2007 1:53pm Post subject: Amusing quotes
Genuine Turkish Proverb: A woman for duty, a boy for pleasure but a goat for ecstasy.

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boffinbabe12


Member

Posted Fri Oct 5th, 2007 4:23pm Post subject: Amusing quotes
Disturbing

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Britannicus


Member

Posted Sun Oct 7th, 2007 10:24pm Post subject: Amusing quotes
X-D X-D X-D

"Your room...it's CLEAN!!!"
"I prayed to God...and...it happened...but...where's my million dollars and horse!? Damn it!"

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joan


Member

Posted Mon Oct 8th, 2007 12:37am Post subject: Amusing quotes
The secret of success is sincerity: if you can fake that, you've got it made.

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