i visited my parents for a few days this week. my grandfather has been in and out of the hospital a lot, and both him and my grandmother need a lot of help from my mom and dad.
this has been especially overwhelming for my mom. it's not like they are sweet grandparents getting senile... they are people who were not-so-good parents, alchoholic / addicted to gambling / verbally abusive / etc. so of course they aren't aging like sweet old people!
Here's what i learned in my visit to my grandparents house:
1. only one room is livable
2. one toilet half-works
3. grandfather eats off dirty dishes, including knives covered in week old mayo
3 and 1/2. and ends up in hospital with intestinal infections
4. grandmother pees in jars when she can't make it to the bathroom and leaves pee collections everywhere.
5. there are at least three loaded guns in the living room, all within plain sight, but we don't know when the last time was any of them were CLEANED or MAINTAINED
6. grandmother MAY have taken out all her savings and hidden it somewhere in the house.
7. Right now, they both can't get around well and shouldn't drive, and yet they do. Because they live in a rural area, and they are so ridiculously stubborn they won't wait JUST 24 FRICKING HOURS FOR ONE OF THE YOUNGER FOLKS TO GO OUT AND GET A NEW TRACTOR IGNITION FOR A 1948 FORD TRACTOR!! NO! THEY HAVE TO HAVE IT RIGHT NOW! EVEN IF IT MEANS DRIVING ON THE HIGHWAY WITH THE REACTION TIME OF A GALAPAGOS TORTOISE!!!
mom's life is getting so overwhelmed by all of it. it weighs on me a lot too. i'm trying to figure out how to help her.
has anyone here had to be a caregiver to their parents and make difficult decisions about when to help them and when to stop or hire help?? i am so frustrated.
plus i drove home in pouring rain and some stupid truck lost half it's load in the road RIGHT in front of me when visibility was really low... maybe i just need a big yelling or weightlifting session!!
"HELLO I'M TACTILE !" is an anagram of my name