STEPHEN FRY

This sounds familiar. When I am at my most low I don't post much here, which is daft because maybe it's the best place for me to be.

Avoidance and depression skip along hand in hand methinks.

Good luck with the appointment. They should help you set out on the right path. xxx

Thankyou. xxx

I'm not as bad as I could be right now.
You take care too xxx

I'm stepping into the unknown - normally OK,(but with the black dog making occasional visits) but some things have triggered a massive depression, if that is what it is.

In 1993 we went under, financially - had to sell everything and go into government housing because husband lost his job, was blacked for being a Labour and union supporter, and we could not support two children and a mortgage on my clerical wage. We survived, both ended up going to university, getting degrees, even getting a little work. But it took its toll, and husband now has anxiety disorders, is on a disability pension, and I'm on a carer's pension.

In the last two days our lovely niece in Oxfordshire is on the verge of losing her home for the same reasons as ours, my sister's husband has lost his main job, and my son's girlfriend has lost her job.

Also, I was reading the US papers - although I live in Australia - and have been getting increasingly horrified at the opposition there to Obama, and a decent health system. Also the growth of the 'Tea Party' thing and Sarah Palin's ambition are filling me with deep apprehension - after all, the US is the most powerful and influential country in the world and these rabid right manifestations are horrifying.

The world in general, and my world in particular feel to be on the verge of something terrible,

Anyway, I have started to break into tears at the slightest thing, I deeply resent my husband's constant criticism of me, and of everything, and how he opposes every opinion I put forward (caused by his condition, but still....)

Also, the physical symptoms are here - wobbly feeling in my stomach, inability to sit still or sleep properly, bad dreams, twitching a lot....

Is this depression? Should I take some of his valium (diazapam)? I rarely drink alcohol, and take no medication apart from blood pressure tablets and vitamin supplements.

What the hell is wrong with me?

You're depressed.

You shouldn't take his diazepam, you should never take prescriptions for someone else. Anyway, all it would do is make you dopey for a bit, it wouldn't actually solve any of your problems. You are lucky that you can identify many of your problems - I know it doesn't feel lucky.

Sounds like you need to see your doc and get on some yummy antidepressants down your neck. The sooner the better. One that is good for anxiety too, of which there are several.

All my best
KSx

Sorry you are having a bad time Joan. It's awful knowing people are suffering in some way and not being able to help them. So I hope things pick up for your family.

And I'm echoing KS with her advice. Diazepam can give very short term relief, but they won't cure your depressive state. You do need some anti depressants.

Do you get help coping with your husband? Does he get help?

If you weren't on the other side of the world I'd hug you Joan.

And Gadgetgirl too. How are you now?

Sending you both best wishes and love xxx

Hi Gadgetgirl,
I applaud you for seeking therapy. Greentree is correct in saying that it is tough having to look closely at the things that have been upsetting you, but bringing these things into the light, examining them and learning how they affect you, leads to learning how to manage them, be it through continued therapy, the pharmacy, and/or even just daily little tricks to keep yourself from getting into a deeper depression even if it's just doing something like trying to think positively. I know thinking positively can sometimes seem Herculean, but if you can do it, it can be a great milestone toward making even bigger strides on your way to beating depression.
I wish you all the luck.

That sounds like a good plan. Of course the doc will keep it quiet - she has to cos of doctor/patient confidentiality.