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Phlizz


Member

Posted Wed Jun 11th, 2008 5:19pm Post subject: Bah! What's wrong with me?!
There's a guy where I work (a customer) who I've done everything I feel I can to get him to notice me and to like me but he's just not interested at all. I could just go ahead and be obvious, but I dont feel I can as he's not shown any interest at all. Why does that always happen to me?! I'm sorry, I know it happens to everyone but I'm just upset Why can't he just give me a chance, I haven't been weird or anything (afaik!) and I'm not totally ugly... I just don't know what puts men off. I was once told "Some people have it, some don't, and you don't" by one particularly horrid man, but it's always stuck with me. I'm tempted to just forget about him but I feel like I'm giving up on something I want, any tips?! Sorry for the rant :-// Thanks for listening xxx

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benson


Member

Posted Wed Jun 11th, 2008 5:55pm Post subject: Bah! What's wrong with me?!
perhaps he is just a somewhat dim and unobservant. this might sound like i'm insulting your taste or intelligence, but i'm not, i promise. somebody who appears to be very nice and worth getting to know better can turn out to be the exact opposite. and i'm afraid i have no tips on how to attract people. i repel all those except the very, very lonely and desperate. but sometimes they're ok.
best of luck and i hope that this guy realises what an ass he's being.

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Occy


Member

Posted Thu Jun 12th, 2008 2:58am Post subject: Bah! What's wrong with me?!
I know the feeling...grrr at men

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Zefla


Member

Posted Thu Jun 12th, 2008 12:49pm Post subject: Bah! What's wrong with me?!
I have the problem too. Grrrr at men in general. I only seem to be able to attract the lonely, desperate and guys who work with computers.

I would be obvious. just to see what happens.

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Phlizz


Member

Posted Thu Jun 12th, 2008 7:51pm Post subject: Bah! What's wrong with me?!
Thanks guys. You know Zefla, I might just do that. As long as he doesn't report me and I don't get the sack, it's all good

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Roxy641


Member

Posted Thu Jun 12th, 2008 10:17pm Post subject: Bah! What's wrong with me?!
Hi Phlizz,

at the risk of giving you false hope...have you considered he might be
shy, or even not even slightly aware that you feel this way about him. If you
don't feel you can ask him to go out, how about inviting him along with
some friends to the pub/coffee place/someplace else, and this way *if he accepts* won't seem like a date and perhaps you can get to know him.

EDIT: Ops, and good luck with whatever happens. He may even end up
a good friend even if nothing more than that.

Roxy641

There's a guy where I work (a customer) who I've done everything

"Life is too important to be taken seriously". OSCAR WILDE.

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Shyamz


Member

Posted Wed Jul 2nd, 2008 7:00pm Post subject: Bah! What's wrong with me?!
As for the guy who said you just don't "have it", he had his own stupid reasons for saying that, and they were nothing to do with you.

Everyone has "it", whatever that is, as different people are atracted to different things, and the other stuff we have no control over, so he probably just said it because he thought you were the kind of person who would be affected by it, and it would therefore make him feel better about himself. Don't give him the satisfaction.

Most guys aren't like that, and the new guy you're talking about probably isn't like that either, so don't be put off.
It's good that you're not been all obvious, as despite what some people will have us beleive, most guys respect that.

What does your job involve, and how long has he being visiting there?
If you can perhaps get the chance to chat to him about it, or about something else you have in common, it might give you the opportunity to ask him out.

(If he's being going there for a while, then there's no reason why you can't ask him yourself. He'll already know you a bit, and guys don't usualy mind a woman asking them out, as it's normaly seen as the thing guys must do, and it takes the pressure of them to make the first move).

If I were doing it, I'd wait to ask him on a day that I know will be followed by a couple of days off, so I don't have to worry about feeling embarrased at work the day after. (I'm not saying he won't say yes, but I personaly always like the option of a couple of days off, just in case).
I hope that doesn't sound all negative, I'm not always very good at typing things the way they sound in my head, but that's how I'd approach it.

If he's not being around for long, try inviting him along with a group of people from work next time you all go somewhere. It'll be easier to talk about non work-related things outside of work, and it'll be therefore be easier to get to know eachother.

Good luck.

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amyl_nitrate


Member

Posted Thu Jul 3rd, 2008 11:11am Post subject: Bah! What's wrong with me?!
As for the guy who said you just don't "have it", he had his own stupid reasons for saying that, and they were nothing to do with you.

Everyone has "it", whatever that is, as different people are atracted to different things, and the other stuff we have no control over, so he probably just said it because he thought you were the kind of person who would be affected by it, and it would therefore make him feel better about himself. Don't give him the satisfaction.



I agree with Shyamz. Everyone's attracted to different people. Forget what that guy said he sounds like an unpleasant speciman not worth worrying over. I'll never understand why some people get gratification from making others suffer. It's terrible.

Assuming direct control...

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Maxx England


Member

Posted Thu Jul 3rd, 2008 11:39am Post subject: Bah! What's wrong with me?!
This attractive bloke, he might be terrified of making a move since there's so much sensitivity these days over what is considered "acceptable behaviour" in the workplace.

And "trying to make yourself known", us blokes work on different references to women, so he might not be slow or unwelcoming, just he's never been let in on the secret.

Try getting him along to some sort of social thing with no pressure, take it easy and see what happens.

Of course, he might turn up with his boyfriend, but that's just a risk you take.

The only way is forward. Now where's the bar?

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Maxx England


Member

Posted Thu Jul 3rd, 2008 11:44am Post subject: Bah! What's wrong with me?!
I only seem to be able to attract the lonely, desperate and guys who work with computers. .

'Allo darlin'.

Hope you find someone outside of the boundaries. I've got mine, we've been together 34 years now, she hasn't kicked me out yet, so you're still safe.

The only way is forward. Now where's the bar?

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