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ruthy


Member

Posted Thu Sep 27th, 2007 3:14pm Post subject: Being Invisible
I'm not talking about actually believing that I'm physically invisible but is anyone else getting really pissed off with constantly being ignored?

I got really mad today because I wanted to put some points across to someone in government about the state of Mental Health Services in the NHS (See thread http://stephenfry.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1488).
I know I should know better than to get upset over such things but it's the 4th time this week that I've been made to feel worthless; as though my opinions and feelings mean nothing.

First of all I tried to post my views on my home-ed board and was essentially gunned down by the usual clique of know-alls.

Then I started a thread here asking for support only to have it removed minutes later. OK it may not have been on-topic but it wasn't offensive and I would have thought I deserved at least an acknowledgment if not an explanation as to why it was removed; but obviously I'm not worth that much.

Then I received a copy of the minutes of a meeting at work that I was not invited to in which my efficiency as the lowly cleaner was put into question. Besides all but one of the issues being out of my control, it's really hurt my feelings because no-one even had the gumption to speak to me personally about them.

I know I'm inclined to be over-sensitive but is it any wonder? When nobody can be bothered to see me it makes me wonder why I bother continuing to exist at all.

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Vespertine


Member

Posted Thu Sep 27th, 2007 6:43pm Post subject: Being Invisible
I used to feel the same so I know where you're coming from but with the internet being as it is I wouldn't take it so seriously. In all honesty a lot of people on the net have the attention span of a knat so they will regularly miss posts and ignore everyone else just so they can get their view in.
I used to take the internet waaaay too seriously and then one day I just suddenly thought 'this is ridiculous', and now I just tend to laugh along with whatever happens. It's hard to do but you can force yourself if you try...eventually it becomes second nature to laugh.

As far as your job is concerned I think that's bad management and certainly not a huge reflection on you. As I don't know your work I cannot comment on the competance of it but what I do know is that when a manager does not feel your job is being done suitably they speak to you PERSONALLY before anyone else hears about it. Technically, depending on what job you do, noone should hear about how worthwhile you do your job anyway! That should be completely private.
Seeing as you're a cleaner I don't suspect your job is one that should be spoken about at meetings.
I wouldn't take it lying down sweetheart. I would demand an explanation as to why you were not informed of the meeting and why your job was questioned without you being spoken to first.

This is totally unfair on you. xxx

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shatzi


Member

Posted Thu Sep 27th, 2007 7:21pm Post subject: Being Invisible
Maybe some people don't comment if they don't have any experience or feel they have anything relevent. I know I can't comment on NHS for example, because I live in the US. I read lots of things here but have no experience with it, just speaking for myself. I do know that invisible feeling though.

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katysara


Moderator

Posted Thu Sep 27th, 2007 8:50pm Post subject: Being Invisible
I think you deserve an explanation as to why your thread was removed...

KSx

I am an administrator on this site.

"Having a great intellect is no path to being happy."
~ Stephen Fry

See my website: www.katysaraculling.com

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Anonymous


Unregistered

Posted Fri Sep 28th, 2007 12:33am Post subject: Being Invisible
Deleted

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ClareBear


Moderator

Posted Fri Sep 28th, 2007 7:15am Post subject: Being Invisible
I haven't touched it, Nick and Anna wouldn't have done so without telling me first.

There's a log kept automatically of thread moving and removing, can you tell me the title?

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ruthy


Member

Posted Fri Sep 28th, 2007 9:50am Post subject: Being Invisible
Hi Atari

First of all I'd like to apologise to everyone for my crazed ranting :-//

I was having a really bad day yesterday and totally over reacted, as is my wont, and I'm thoroughly ashamed of myself.

Don't worry about the thread it was just one silly thing in a string of silly things that I got a bee in my bonnet about.
For curiosity reasons or if there is a fault on the software the thread had OT at the front of the title and I think asked if anyone would sign my friends petition. Something like that; I can't remember the exact wording. Maybe there's an automated clause that deletes anything with OT in it to keep things on-topic?

Anyway I'm feeling a bit better today; I had a word with the factory owner this morning about these minutes at work and he was pretty good. He agreed that expecting me to clean the huge windows was a ridiculous idea and we cleared up a few misunderstandings. I told him how upset I was that no-one could show me the common decency to speak to me if they had a problem with my work. It's not like I have a formidable presence or anything, I'm only 5ft and a dogend tall.

Although to be truthful my husband, who also works there, is 6ft 5 and built like a brick ****house

Anyway nuff said, I'm going to shrink off into a cupboard now with a cup of Chamomile Tea and hope everyone forgets my little do!

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Anonymous


Unregistered

Posted Fri Sep 28th, 2007 12:19pm Post subject: Being Invisible
I haven't touched it, Nick and Anna wouldn't have done so without telling me first.

There's a log kept automatically of thread moving and removing, can you tell me the title?

Absolutely. Removing a thread altogether is such a drastic action that I'd never take it without some authorisation.

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katysara


Moderator

Posted Fri Sep 28th, 2007 2:18pm Post subject: Being Invisible
Aha, does that mean John Steeds real name is Nick? Hello Nick.

KSx

I am an administrator on this site.

"Having a great intellect is no path to being happy."
~ Stephen Fry

See my website: www.katysaraculling.com

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Anonymous


Unregistered

Posted Fri Sep 28th, 2007 2:19pm Post subject: Being Invisible
It's no secret.

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katysara


Moderator

Posted Fri Sep 28th, 2007 2:22pm Post subject: Being Invisible
Wow, that was a fast response. Hi Nick. I didn't know it so it was a secret to me.

KSx

I am an administrator on this site.

"Having a great intellect is no path to being happy."
~ Stephen Fry

See my website: www.katysaraculling.com

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Anonymous


Unregistered

Posted Fri Sep 28th, 2007 2:24pm Post subject: Being Invisible
I prefer to be called Nick sometimes, like when I'm asking for help or advice. I'm not hiding behind an alias as John Steed, rather assuming a nice fancy dress for the party.

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katysara


Moderator

Posted Fri Sep 28th, 2007 2:36pm Post subject: Being Invisible
From now on I shall call you Nick.

KSx

I am an administrator on this site.

"Having a great intellect is no path to being happy."
~ Stephen Fry

See my website: www.katysaraculling.com

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Saturn


Member

Posted Fri Sep 28th, 2007 10:33pm Post subject: Being Invisible
The only thing worse than being invisible, is being singled out and picked upon and examined, and laughed at and scorned and ridiculed.

I don't know which is worse, and I've experienced both.

I'm sure everyone has been through periods where you've been in a crowded room or public place and you've wanted to just shout, or scream out at the top of your lungs

"I EXIST!!!!" Stop ignoring me. Treat me properly. I am a person with a big heart, I think, I feel, I love, don't I deserve to be be seen and heard, to be loved, appreciated?" :'(

I'm sick of being ignored, of being the quiet one, the oh so quiet wallflower that no-one cares about.

Some people look for peace and quiet in solitude, for me there is no peace, there is no quiet in solitude, only loneliness, only that terrible aching, unbearable loneliness that never ends.

Did you ever just hate the idea of yourself so much,l so intensely that you cannot bear to be YOU anymore?

Sorry I'm in really bad place at the moment.

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Vespertine


Member

Posted Sat Sep 29th, 2007 1:49am Post subject: Being Invisible
Saturn, You are one of the sweetest and coolest people I've had the fortune to come across. You are worth a voice.
And if it feels like people aren't listening to you, you can always use me as a sounding board.

That goes for everyone else who needs the same!

Use my pm box and if you're uncomfortable with it (if you want to speak face to face or on the phone) I will do whatever is in my power to sort something out!

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