I saw a TV program about Bipolar disease. Essentially there is commonly a bipolar condition in all of us. It is the experience observing an inner and an outer, an internal/external, made conceptually a division in the brain. Particular for actors, artists, experts, professionals, the division becomes practiced, accentuated, a skilled method. The inner operator making more and more of the outer as an external activity, successfully, altruistically, knowledgeably, powerfully. For the expert, the professional, the artful, the clever, self awareness is their success, their expertise, and their position in the scheme of things. So a lawyer, a doctor, sees the role of the self as their own special career, if not an individual enlightenment.
Nevertheless the dualistic condition for the lowly and the high, is for the brain, a division. In that division is a conflict. It is the conflict of a duality which self, I, is trying to work with, to function with, while also wanting to solve and be free from. For the most part ordinary people see their individual result as a normal way of life, suffering and struggling. Basically, theirs is conflict, and putting a lot of effort into trying to bring the conflict to resolution, to order, the result is a greater and greater disorder. See the pollution, the destruction, the violence, in the world. There is a nagging doubt, a background insight, of this false effort making matters worse.
The duality has developed in time with man's development of thought, knowledge, neurologically. I, you, self, all of our habits, customs, culture, civilization, religion, belief, is our self. By this way I can conform, comply, adjust, be medicated, be treated, and then my duality is normal. It is a condition of our civilized selves and is a root of science, technology, religion, psychology, etc. Ordinarily I am unaware, living a standard way of life. My self awareness is consumed in, dedicated to, my education, my distractions. It becomes a false self awareness; memory, knowledge, education, sophistication, and what I call my inner voice. An inner voice searching for peace, happiness, security. An awareness of this is a beginning.
It is an awareness which is misled, corrupt, by the authority of a false self, an inner voice. Now what do I do? I am destitute. I have no direction. I have no future. The mechanism developed to deal with fear, insecurity, identity, has become an in-attention, a disease. My in-attention is my depression. To watch and listen and hear, feel and see what is, free of self, is the only attention. It is a start afresh, revolutionary.
