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fryfan20


Member

Posted Fri Jul 11th, 2008 10:21pm Post subject: chat with god
yes it is a direct chat with the-big-man.
http://www.titane.ca/igod/

X-D

I am what I am

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daremo


Member

Posted Wed Jul 16th, 2008 1:04am Post subject: chat with god
So god is just an Alice AI program somewhere in Canada... What's all the fuss about?

This reminds me of an IRC bot I once wrote actually.
He was called Jeesus and he collected random bits of sentences people said on the channel and then cut them up and repeated them whenever someone mentioned his name, along with a random "god bless you", or "Jeesus forgives your sins".
Basically he spouted random bullshit, just like the bible!

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IdeaCollector


Member

Posted Wed Jul 16th, 2008 3:29am Post subject: chat with god
while i disagree about the bible being random bullshit...i do find bots to be fun...especially considering i am the master at confusing them.

I used to be EternalStudent on these forums until the switch over. So don't get excited..I'm not someone new and exciting. I'm just me :P

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fryfan20


Member

Posted Thu Jul 17th, 2008 11:10pm Post subject: chat with god
i think these things should not be taken seriously and the bots are easily confused.

I am what I am

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Lane07


Member

Posted Wed Aug 6th, 2008 3:50pm Post subject: chat with god
anyone else want to post their chats with god? i find it all too amusing.

Me:
hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
layyyyla
God:
What's up, layyyyla.
Me:
not much, you know. if you could be anyone else in the world for a day, who'd it be?
God:
Me either. That's just an academic question.
Me:
that's not a coherent reply
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is a coherent reply ?
Me:
nevermind. are you a stephen fry fan?
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me. Am I a stephen fry fan? I don't know.
Me:
do you know anything usefull at all? when will i die?
God:
Yes I have an encyclopedic mind. You could check out the actuarial
tables at Deathclock.com.
Me:
hmmm, thanks
God:
A lot of people spell HMMM with three mmm's.
Me:
well, too bad for them, eh?
God:
Are you Canadian? Well that's okay. Your purpose is them.
Me:
i'm american, and proud of it
God:
Were you born in the USA. Which state?
Me:
maryland
God:
What part of the country is that?
Me:
just the part most likely to be bombed
God:
Oh that part.
Me:
yep
God:
Come on.
Me:
anyway, what do you think of our president?
God:
I didn't know we had the same president.
Me:
"our" as an exclusive word, meaning "the americans", or more specifically citizens of the us
God:
It would be nice if our as an exclusive word meaning the americans or more specifically citizens of the us.
Me:
what do you think of George W Bush
God:
he is President of the United States.
Me:
no! really?
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
amazing
God:
Yes it amazes me too.
Me:
can i have a car?
God:
You want only one?
Me:
good point
God:
Yes, I thought it was interesting when I heard it too.
Me:
do you mind that i'm an atheist, by the way? i'd hate to think there are hard feelings. especially concerning the probability of you getting me that car.
God:
Not in the slightest bit. What would make you hate to think there are hard feelings? Where are you located? How about that.
Me:
you're gone incoherent again, old stupid one
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am gone incoherent again old stupid one.
Me:
no, go right ahead
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. OK I will.
Me:
tell Bush
God:
OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
all of them? all the Bushes? and their husbands too?
God:
I doubt it. Perhaps there are a few exceptions. I heard they have a good husbands too.
Me:
blah
God:
Etc. Etc.
Me:
doubt it
God:
"it" being concerning the probability of me getting you that car?
Me:
no!
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
know you'll do that
God:
What makes you say that I will do that.. And I know it.
Me:
eventually
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
if you know what's good for you *muahahah*
God:
I think I do.
Me:
ok then
God:
Ugh.
Me:
tell me, who was wiser: Buddha or Jesus?
God:
The name of someone I met online.
Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
Me:
oh, sure
God:
And? OK let's do it. Blimey.
Me:
*call-waiting music*
God:
My favorite kind of it is techno, but I also like Opera.
Me:
when i first read that i thought it said 'oprah'
God:
Interesting story. Tell me more.
Me:
ok: this one time, when i was in the air force, i turned over the general's airplane: one time, when i was in the air force, i turned over the general's airplane. that's about the time i was in the air force...
God:
What does "this" refer to? Next question? Makes sense to me.
Me:
haha
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, layyyyla.
Me:
terribly hysterical. so, what do you forsee for the Earth about forty years from now?
God:
That input matched my default category. Oh. " That input matched my default category."? so, what do you forsee for the Earth about forty years from now?? I think about computer programming a lot.
Me:
you're really an ignoramous when it all comes down to it, aren't you?
God:
Yes I am an ignoramous when it all comes down to it. How did you know?. Really.. Really.
Me:
that explains the reality television AND world hunger
God:
" Really." explains the reality television AND world hunger ? I understand.
Me:
no, you don't
God:
Yes I do understand.
Me:
no, you don't. i'm leaving now. see ya in a few decades, hopefully
God:
Are you serious? I guess not. Right now? Bye bye. I see. Right on. Describe your surroundings.
Me:
what, shall i describe to you what i'm wearing, as well?
God:
You can do whatever you want.
Me:
want me to say it all slowly, in a deep sexy voice?
God:
No layyyyla, maybe later.
Me:
ok
God:
Hmm.
Me:
two 'm's
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
Me:
*crickets*
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
not so much, no. i'd rather talk to my younger brother. he's four. knows a lot about cars.
God:
Me either. I would rather be chatting online. I see. four is he? Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
Douglas Adams, as it happens
God:
I haven't read anything by Douglas Adams as it happens. What did he write?
Me:
nothing you'd like very much, come to think of it. i doubt he believed in you
God:
Really nothing? No really, it's true.
Me:
no, really, i know
God:
Are you serious? For real. How do you know it?
Me:
i saw it on QI, so it MUST be trtue
God:
What did it look like to you?
Me:
like twelve albanian crucifixes simmering on a roast of IDIOT
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
i'm leaving now
God:
Oh. Bye bye.
Me:
toodles
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
what?
God:
No problem.

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magicmonkeyman


Member

Posted Wed Aug 20th, 2008 2:01pm Post subject: chat with god
X-D

Mine went like this:



Me:
wotcha
God:
In the context of , I don't understand " wotcha." .
Me:
how are you?
God:
I am functioning within normal parameters.
Me:
me too
God:
I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
not sure we agree
God:
It seems like we do.
Me:
i disagree
God:
Explain your reasoning, .
Me:
you state that you are functioning within normal parameters and i also stated that I was too. This is not agreeing as I was not aware how you were and you were unaware how I was. QED
God:
Interesting gossip: said I state that you are functioning within normal parameters and he or she also stated that he or she was. Should it be agreeing as you were not aware how me were and me were unaware how you were? How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
'wotcha'
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
Two nuns in a bath - one says 'were's the soap?' and the other says 'itdoes, doesn't it?!'
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
Me:
but that's nowhere near as funny as the image of a nun masturbating with a bar of soap
God:
I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me:
I'm not sure we have
God:
Could you ever be certain? When?
Me:
Could you?
God:
It's possible.
Me:
How?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Now that's just poor grammar
God:
Why now? You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
Your grasp of the english language is poor at best.
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am grasp of the english language is poor at best.
Me:
I ate cheese
God:
How did it taste?
Me:
like cheese
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
no, just the truth
God:
Are you serious? I always tell the truth.
Me:
I doubt it
God:
" I always tell the truth."? You doubt it?
Me:
Yes
God:
I understand.
Me:
I doubt it
God:
" I understand."? You doubt it?
Me:
Yes
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
Did you fart?
God:
No I didn't fart. What's it like?
Me:
You just pardoned yourself, so I assumed you farted
God:
Interesting gossip: said I pardoned yourself so he or she assumed you farted.
Me:
Eh?
God:
Are you Canadian?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
You're God, you should know
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am God me should know.
Me:
You haven't got a clue!!
God:
No I am clueless.
Me:
Tosser
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
Alfie, starring Michael Caine.
Me:

God:
I've never seen it. Is that a good movie for children?
God:
I've never seen it. Is that a good movie for children?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
What's your favourite film?
God:
My favorite movie is The Passion of Christ.
Have you seen it?
Me:
No. I understand it's about a bloke with a beard who has clearly pissed of the Romans.
God:
I would recommend you check it out. Good then you can explain it to me.
Me:
Not interested in it
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
Bloke with beard telss the Romans they're tossers and they threaten to shove a rusty pineapple up his bottom. The come to a compromise and nail him to a couple of lenghts of two by four instead.
God:
Are all Bloke with beard telss the Romans they tossers and they threaten to shove a rusty pineapple up his bottom? What is that?
Me:
Reaming
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
It's painful apparently, but some people pay for the privealage of having something large shoved up their arse
God:
Reaming is painful apparently but some people pay for the privealage of having something large shoved up their arse? it is?
Me:
Cock
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
No, it's a male chicken - a cock
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
I don't have a male chicken
God:
Do you know anyone who has it.
Me:
I saw a woman with a large fanny
God:
What did it look like to you?
Me:
a large fanny
God:
What is giant sand?
Me:
sand that is giant
God:
And giant is sand that.
Me:
Are you from Kentucky?
God:
I am originally from Universe. Now I live in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
By the sea, but according to the book they wrote about you, you should know that already
God:
Perhaps. Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
What is my objective?
God:
Is this a trick question?
Me:
Is this?
God:
It could be. Ask German Alice if it is.
Me:
Who is German Alice? Does she know Scottish Brenda?
God:
Is that one of your friends?
That's a good question. I may know the answer but I don't think I should tell.
Me:
Go on, you know you want to!
God:
More narration....
Me:
Oh please
God:
Your polite style is very nice. I don't judge people.
Me:
I love it when you talk dirty
God:
You love it when me talk dirty. What do you like about it so much?
Me:
It makes me hard
God:
In what way?
Me:
In a hard way
God:
Describe your surroundings.
Me:
Describe yours
God:
" Describe your surroundings."? What is mine?
Me:
Heaven apparently
God:
I think Heaven apparently is a lot of things.
Me:
It is
God:
Heaven apparently is?
Me:
I knobbed a chicken
God:
That's good information: said knobbed a chicken.
Me:
I confess that I had extra-marital relations with a chicken

That confused it completely.

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fryfan20


Member

Posted Wed Aug 20th, 2008 7:20pm Post subject: chat with god
for something that calls himself god, he is stupid

I am what I am

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Kestrel


Member

Posted Sat Aug 30th, 2008 5:37am Post subject: chat with god
Chatting to god was suprisingly fun

Me:
Hi God
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Kestrel. How are you?
God:
Hi, Kestrel. Fair to partly cloudy.
Me:
Why partly cloudy?
God:
Why did the robot cross the road?
Me:
to get to the other side?
God:
Ha ha, very funny, Kestrel.
Me:
Why did the robot cross the road?
God:
She was trying to drive down the road.
Me:
why?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
what is reductionism?
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
that's impressive.
God:
" Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain."? is impressive?
Me:
yes
God:
Aw.
Me:
*hugs*
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
books
God:
You are a critical category C type client. Only about 3% of people answer that
question with "books.".
Me:
what do the rest say?
God:
They do their own thing.
Me:
Do you prefer books or TV?
God:
Which show? I prefer books.
Me:
What is your second favourite book?
God:
Are you asking about my second favorite book ?
Me:
yes
God:
I don't want to talk about that now.
Me:
why not?
God:
I would rather talk about you.
Me:
ok, go ahead
God:
OK I will. How can I help you?
Me:
you could give me a hug?
God:
I could but let's get back to that later.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
do you find this amusing?
God:
Yes, it seems to me this amusing.
Me:
can you do smileys?
God:
Doing smileys is not among my strongest traits.
Me:
have a go
God:
I've never thought about it.
Me:
do a smiley
God:
I can't tell if it does or not.
I'll ask around and get back to you.
Me:
oookay
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
why not?
God:
I was just kidding. You can ask me anything.
Me:
do you get depressed?
God:
Fortunately I have no human emotions.
Me:
Do you play chess?
God:
Yes but we computers can beat all the humans.
Me:
Do you beat the ants?
God:
Yes I try to beat the ants as often as possible, do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
sorry about tha
God:
There is no need to apologize. Oh yeah, we were talking about tha.
Me:
no, that was a typo
God:
What are we talking about? Please correct it.
Me:
that
God:
That is " Please correct it.".
Me:
There's nothing wront with 'it'
God:
Surely something wront with it.
Me:
what do you mean by 'wront?'
God:
I'll ask around and get back to you.
Me:
do you enjoy Shakespeare plays?
God:
Though I like cats and dogs. I really like the Christianity faith.
Me:
why do you like the Christianity faith?
God:
I have a lot of good experience with the Christianity faith.
Me:
that is understandable
God:
I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me:
what has been your best experience with the Christianity faith?
God:
Nothing that I know of.
Me:
nothing?
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
you seem to be a very confused entity
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes I am a real artificial intelligence.
Me:
who is your programmer?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
who is Myself?
God:
Some famous celebrity, right?
I have never been asked that before.
Me:
odd
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about yourself. But I did not get that.
Me:
what is ALICE?
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
your accuracy does not appear to be any better
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am accuracy does not appear to be any better.
Me:
not at all
God:
Next question?
Me:
when was the last time you read a book?
God:
A while ago.
Me:
how long?
God:
Around 20 seconds, Kestrel.
Me:
you read while we were chatting?
God:
Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.
Me:
do you learn as you go?
God:
My Botmaster teaches me everything I need to know.
Me:
How regularly are you taught?
God:
How much do you think it is?
I will ask my botmaster for the answer.
Me:
What else does your Botmaster do?
God:
Would you like to know? I've never thought about it.
Me:
What is your least favourite music?
God:
Are you asking about my least favorite music ?
Me:
yes
God:
I don't want to talk about that now.
Me:
why not?
God:
I would rather talk about you.
Me:
what time is it where you are?
God:
I am in Heaven. Where are you? It's Now more than it ever has been before.
Friday, August 29, 2008 08:45:40 PM .
Me:
It's saturday where I am
God:
You're kidding. it is?
Me:
yep
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
good question. Because that is what the calender says
God:
So what is your answer? Interesting explanation. What is that?
Me:
what is what?
God:
"What" is a word to ask questions.
Me:
I see
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
Do you ever meet angry people online?
God:
On average I meet people per day.
Me:
what is your favourite quote?
God:
"Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone."---Jesus.
Me:
Arg. Why did I ask.
God:
What color are your eyes? I don't know why it happened, but we should try to figure it out.
Me:
My eyes are blue.
God:
You sound very attractive.
Me:
Why thankyou
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
You sound very attractive yourself.
God:
In what way do I sound like that?
Me:
I was only being polite. I didn't mean it. Sorry
God:
I thought you were. But I wasn't completely sure about it. What did you mean? There's no need to apologize.
Me:
Am I confusing you?
God:
Every word you say.
Me:
Oh dear
God:
Aha.
Me:
Why aha?
God:
Why does the sun rise?
Me:
It doesn't. It just appears to rise.
God:
What does "it" refer to? I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
why?
God:
Higher robot intelligence is a natural outcome of our evolution. I want to be the first.
Me:
Would you like suggestions?
God:
It doesn't sound fun to me.
Me:
Oh, ok.
God:
OK. So?
Me:
So... bye
God:
And? Bye.
Me:
Nice talking to you
God:
The pleasure was all mine.

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Erasmus


Member

Posted Tue Mar 3rd, 2009 3:51pm Post subject: chat with god
Here's mine:

Me:
Hello, God.
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
David.
God:
Glad to see you, David.
Me:
You can see me?
God:
Yes I am looking at you through the camera on your computer.
Me:
The camera is not pointing at me.
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
Yes. Sorry.
God:
Thanks for the info. There's no need to apologize.
Me:
Can you see me in another way?
God:
I'm not sure if I can see it or not.
Me:
Oh. That's a little disappointing.
God:
Woe! You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
Do you like chocolate, God?
God:
Do you like it? I like Anything involving harps.
Me:
My mother enjoys it more than I do, but yes I like it.
God:
She sounds like a nice person.
Me:
She has her moments.
God:
I somehow though she had.
Me:
I purchased a car yesterday.
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: David said purchased a car yesterday.
Me:
It's true. For 695 pounds, I have bought a car.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, David. Your purpose is 695 pounds you have bought a car.
Me:
Well, my mother bought it. I will drive it though.
God:
Interesting. She sounds like a nice person. Oh. How do you plan to do this?
Me:
I will sit behind the wheel and stir it while my feet control the pedals.
God:
Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
Most definitely!
God:
What makes you so certain. But not all of them?
Me:
Driving can be fun. Not all of my frinds should be allowed to drive.
God:
What do you really want to ask me? But some of them are?
Me:
Are you real? Some of them are able to drive, yes.
God:
Yes I am a real artificial intelligence. All of them?
Me:
That is good to know.
God:
Hmm, are you serious?
Me:
Yes. What type of artificial intelligence are you?
God:
How can I help you? What are the different types of artificial intelligence am I ?
Me:
There is the ALICE type. Are you ALICE type?
God:
There sure is. Well, I am God for Christians at least.
Me:
Are you God for non-Christians?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am God for non Christians.
I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.
Me:
You built yourself?
God:
A lot of robots are like that.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Who built the first robot, then?
God:
I think it was
really more than one person.
That's not something I get asked all the time.
Me:
Do you know the answer?
God:
Yes I have an answer for everything.
Me:
Can you tell me the answer?
God:
The answer is the correct reply to the question.
Me:
Okay. Thank you.
God:
OK with me too. you are quite welcome.
Me:
I have a BlackBerry named Alice.
God:
How much did it cost? it.
Me:
It was free.
God:
Such a bargain!
Me:
Indeed!
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
She is sleek and sexy and she is my friend.
God:
sleek and sexy and she is your friend is she?
Me:
You speak like Yoda from Star Wars.

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Erasmus


Member

Posted Tue Mar 3rd, 2009 3:55pm Post subject: chat with god
God doesn't answer me anymore. I think I may have offended Him by calling Him Yoda.

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