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nongenderous


Member

Posted Thu Dec 11th, 2008 12:30am Post subject: Christmas rant
Christmas is here again and I'm just waiting for it to be over. I'm sick of reading about people who are looking forward to celebrating Christmas, when I despise the whole crap. This year is especially sad. My dog is no longer with us and I am thinking of him every single day. Even though we did the right thing at the right moment.
All around me people are getting established; they're getting married, have serious relationships and children. At 26 I feel like such a failure. I don't know how to act in public and around strangers. I've never had a partner. I can't trust people. I'm still comparing myself to my little sister who is the opposite; she has lots of friends and I don't. She knows how to interact with people, while I'm scared. I somehow doubt people like me. The thought of someone loving me is Utopian IMO.
I don't drink, and maybe people find that boring, but I don't care. I never go out and I hate drunk people. I'm just in my room. I'm currently unemployed and I've become apathetic and bored. I live at home this year, and I'm just want my own place and a job. And I want Christmas to be over as soon as possible.
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Corona


Member

Posted Thu Dec 11th, 2008 2:50pm Post subject: Christmas rant
For a long while I was unhappy in my life. Then I realised that the world doesnt judge me much becaue it doesnt care much. I think you need to look at yourself and see a good person and then go out and just be yourself. I have let a few people know about my being Different to other men and nobody has been unkind to me. Some have even been more kind than I would expect because they know that what they see is what they get. It is a good world mostly. You should get out and enjoy it as much as you can.

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Maxx England


Member

Posted Mon Dec 15th, 2008 12:25pm Post subject: Christmas rant
JH, how you feeling now? Clare Bear was pretty down the other day, there's a lot of it about right now.

The only way is forward. Now where's the bar?

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Nitro


Member

Posted Mon Dec 15th, 2008 5:57pm Post subject: Christmas rant
Christmas is here again and I'm just waiting for it to be over. I'm sick of reading about people who are looking forward to celebrating Christmas, when I despise the whole crap. This year is especially sad. My dog is no longer with us and I am thinking of him every single day. Even though we did the right thing at the right moment.
All around me people are getting established; they're getting married, have serious relationships and children. At 26 I feel like such a failure. I don't know how to act in public and around strangers. I've never had a partner. I can't trust people. I'm still comparing myself to my little sister who is the opposite; she has lots of friends and I don't. She knows how to interact with people, while I'm scared. I somehow doubt people like me. The thought of someone loving me is Utopian IMO.
I don't drink, and maybe people find that boring, but I don't care. I never go out and I hate drunk people. I'm just in my room. I'm currently unemployed and I've become apathetic and bored. I live at home this year, and I'm just want my own place and a job. And I want Christmas to be over as soon as possible.

Artificial Christmas cheer comes on like an onslaught doesn't it? As if Madison avenue has a dam that it builds behind all year long and sometime around October they open the gates. I guess depending on where you're sitting, it can feel like an overwhelming rush or an annoying trickle.

I'm sorry to hear about your dog passing on, and I mean that most sincerely. But, I do not believe your canine friend would want you to be miserable.

No one is ever sure that everyone likes them all the time. And not being liked by everybody is probably a good thing.

Trust is very difficult to come by and I fully empathize with you. The niggling little doubts and insecurities and suspicions that lick at our brains are things that probably a great majority of people feel from time to time. I think part of the trick of getting past it is to realize this, and not to make it too unique to ourselves or specalize it like that. Just as I may doubt the motivations of another, they may doubt my own. Trust is built over time and through shared experiences. Minus those two things, you're right, it's very, very difficult to trust people to know us intimately. In fact, I don't think it can happen.

If being married means 'success' to you, which I'm not sure it does, then I think you may believe your friends are way, way happier than they actually are.

I don't drink either sometimes and I agree that drunks are rarely even mildly amusing, except to themselves as I am.

Please get out of your room once in a while. There's nothing wrong with being different than the crowd you generally see around you. Nevermind the bars. Do whatever blows your hair back. Nine to ten there are good odds you'll find others who like that too. I'm not trying to minimize anything you feel btw or poke fun at you. I poke fun at myself when I get a bit too dreary and serious about christmas (marketing) time. I mean..it's marketing for gods sakes. It's always on year 'round and everywhere. At least it's consistent that way.

I'm single and while my dog is still alive, he's about the only company I'll keep come Christmas X-D I see people of course and have friends ( no, seriously, I do.....wait....is someone here laughing? because...knock it off...)....and Christmas commercials and all of it used to bum me out because there's the [insert image of contented family around christmas tree ] and all that [insert images of fine, holiday food] etc etc...but marketers really, really need that stuff...and consumers are motivated by it and achieve a little happiness and so long as no one's holding me down to drink egg nog or putting reindeer antlers on my head, i'm probably a little different than you in that I'm content to let them have that yuletide cheer they will be paying off on all next year....

Really? Wow.

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Shyamz


Member

Posted Tue Dec 16th, 2008 7:09pm Post subject: Christmas rant
The best way to look at all this Christmasy fuss is to remember that no one is actually having the type of Christmas you see in the adverts or in magazines...or in Nigella-bloody-Lawson's Christmas cookery specials! (looks for barf smiley, can't find one).

All the pressure therefor that people feel under to have this huge woolly wintry perfect family Christmas is nonsense. Almost no one actually lives like that, so people should just do whatever they enjoy at this time of year...well, at any time of year in fact.

There are so many people in the world, that it's statistically impossible for you to be the only one who likes the things you like, and who enjoys the things you enjoy.
If you get out there and have a look, you're bound to find plenty more who do like that same things as you (there are loads of people who don't like loud noisy drunks, myself included so I agree with you!).

Hey, I'm twenty eight, and I'm single too...and I've no career to speak of, just the latest in a long line of shitty jobs that I've done just to earn some money, with no way of finding a path into my chosen line of work presenting itself to me.
So I get how it is for you, I feel much the same sometimes.
So instead of comparing yourself to people who you think are doing so much better (which isn't always true), think about all the others in the same boat as you. You're not alone in how you feel, so let's all stand together and agree to not let the bastards get us down!

It's tough stopping yourself from comparing your life to that of others I know, but as that is their life and they all want different things, chances are it wouldn't be right for you and you wouldn't enjoy it.

Focus on what you want and the things you enjoy, and don't worry about what anyone else thinks as in fact, most people are worrying about themselves as much as you do, so they probably aren't even thinking about yours at all.

Get out there, and enjoy yourself. It's your Christmas too.

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Soupy Twist


Member

Posted Tue Dec 16th, 2008 7:31pm Post subject: Christmas rant

All the pressure therefor that people feel under to have this huge woolly wintry perfect family Christmas is nonsense. Almost no one actually lives like that, so people should just do whatever they enjoy at this time of year...well, at any time of year in fact.

So true. They say that statistically families have more arguments during christmas than during the rest of the year. I'm convinced this is because of this built-up pressure that christmas has to be the perfect holiday, just as it is advertised by the same media who also suggest that you should start preparing and decorating for your perfect family christmas in september at the latest. What utter nonsense. As the song goes, "have yourself a merry little christmas", just the way you want it to be.

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jordache


Member

Posted Tue Dec 16th, 2008 7:46pm Post subject: Christmas rant
Hey. Some time ago I said to myself: If this is my life then this is my life. These are the cards I have been dealt and I have to play them. I was about to go into hospital for heart bypass surgery and I don't mind admitting I was scared. But I developed faith and trust in the cardiac surgery team, my partners support, and that of my friends and I was able to say, If this is my life then this is my life. For all my life I had kept myself extremely physically fit, I had to, to remain in my military career. Year after year I worked at fitness, then my life was shattered with the news I had to have bypass surgery, me! Mr Fitness! The cardiac nurse asked me before going to theatre, " Are you ready?" I was, and it was no pretense or show of bravado. These were the cards I had been dealt and it was time to play them, no blame to place on others, no winging about what may or should have been. This was it then and there. In retrospect I know this has been my approach to life for years and years. What happens in life I think is down to yourself in the main, influences from your outside are forks in the road, you can accept them and be influenced or you can ignore them and your life good or bad, will continue and take its course, but the decision is your own. You can let influences make you unhappy or happy. It all depends on what you want everytime you get out of bed. Don't live in the past, learn from it and make it better. Remember that today is the first day of the rest of your life, it is up to you. Make it happen. This is the real thing not a practice run, my friend.

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Maxx England


Member

Posted Thu Dec 18th, 2008 1:14pm Post subject: Christmas rant
Remember that today is the first day of the rest of your life, it is up to you. Make it happen. This is the real thing not a practice run, my friend.

I wondered who'd been in my t shirt drawer.

The only way is forward. Now where's the bar?

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Jarus


Member

Posted Thu Dec 18th, 2008 9:51pm Post subject: Christmas rant
Remember that today is the first day of the rest of your life, it is up to you. Make it happen. This is the real thing not a practice run, my friend.

I wondered who'd been in my t shirt drawer.

I've always wanted to have a shirt printed with this:

Of course, the universe is gradually slowing down isn't it? and will eventually collapse inwardly on itself according to the laws of entropy when all it's thermal and mechanical functions fail. Thus rendering all human endeavour ultimately pointless...

it seems a bit long though

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Corona


Member

Posted Fri Dec 19th, 2008 1:26pm Post subject: Christmas rant
I wish i was good with words. Since I am not, what I would like is one of those 70s t shirts with a creepy monk on it saying Trust Me

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Maxx England


Member

Posted Sat Dec 20th, 2008 12:46pm Post subject: Christmas rant
I have a friend who wears a t shirt with "Hated By The Daily Mail" on it. No finer accolade, if you ask me.

The only way is forward. Now where's the bar?

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joan


Member

Posted Sun Dec 21st, 2008 6:07am Post subject: Christmas rant
I have a friend who wears a t shirt with "Hated By The Daily Mail" on it. No finer accolade, if you ask me.

I want one, but they wouldn't understand it here. "Hated by John Howard" would have to do. ALL the newspapers here are a bit on the right wing side, so i couldn't pick just one.

January Heart - the others are right - try to get out a bit, if only for a walk. Try to find some eccentric company: so called 'normal' people are often judgmental and boring.

I too was compared unfavourably with my bright, gregarious sister, but I found a set of people I could relate to. In my case it was a cycling and hiking crowd, all ages, and we belonged to a YHA club with the dingiest clubrooms you could ever imagine, but i loved going there. We had a hostel weekend, in the Yorkshire Dales or Peak district once a month, and it was so much fun.

One old fellow who used to hike with us was like an aging hippy - long hair, an old greatcoat, daggy shoes, and a shaggy beard. I worked in a government office in Dewsbury, and a couple of colleagues saw me chatting to him when I bumped into him on my lunch break. They tried to give me a hard time back at the office for talking to such a 'low life'. I laughed at their prejudice - silly cows. Consorting with such eccentric friends gave me the confidence to do that.

I only changed my life around after a stint in hospital when i was 17. I had a medical condition that resulted in severe anaemia, so they kept me in for a week to build up my strength, and it was that week that gave me the space and time to think out my life. You need to find a way to look objectively about where you are and what you want. Ignore others, think of yourself without comparing to other people - they are not relevant.

Good luck, and I wish you the strength to survive the so-called festive season.

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ClareBear


Moderator

Posted Sun Dec 21st, 2008 8:57am Post subject: Christmas rant
I have a friend who wears a t shirt with "Hated By The Daily Mail" on it. No finer accolade, if you ask me.

any idea where from?

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smilla.jaspersen


Member

Posted Sun Dec 21st, 2008 1:22pm Post subject: Christmas rant
I have a friend who wears a t shirt with "Hated By The Daily Mail" on it. No finer accolade, if you ask me.
any idea where from?
if you can't get it in the internet you could buy a 100% cotton t-shirt and go to the next best copy shop. nowadays they also make printed t-shirts for relatively favourable prices.

@ jh:
one of the greatest, most inspiring persons i know said, "some of the most wonderful people are the ones who don't fit into boxes." tori [amos] really helped me to find out, who i really am and what kind of life i want to live. it's useless to try to be somebody else or envy other people for their lives. the first step is to accept your true self, love yourself for your strengths and weaknesses. nobody is perfect, nobody is always happy. and that's why you don't have to be scared of other people. don't force yourself to do things you don't want to do but you could try to overcome your isolation step by step. just try ... it might seem difficult or even impossible at the beginning, but after a while you get into some sort of flow and it will feel really, really good.

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Maxx England


Member

Posted Tue Dec 23rd, 2008 1:31pm Post subject: Christmas rant
I have a friend who wears a t shirt with "Hated By The Daily Mail" on it. No finer accolade, if you ask me.

any idea where from?

His girlfriend at the time got it printed for him. Feel free to use it though.

The only way is forward. Now where's the bar?

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