CLASSIFIEDS
BOUNCY COUNCIL ESTATE
For Hire, fully insured. Inflatable entertainment you can share with others. Recommended for the aristocracy. 30-acre inflation space required. Contact: The Editors
GENUINE ARTHUR MAUDSLEYDALE Brassiere Spoon (XXXL) with spirit lamp (glass missing otherwise vgc.) No timewasters please. 12 guineas. Contact: The Editors
INDONESIAN BLUE-BACKED RIVER Thwarts, make lovely pets, kitchen bred and very tame. Last in litter looking for loving homes. Contact: The Editors
I VERY CLEANLY CUT HALF of a semi dissected portion of a percentage of part of an aperture. Unwanted gift. Still in own box. (Green) 35 guineas.
Contact: The Editors
GUN-METAL EFFECT gentleman’s handbag, never used at night, needs adjusting. 4 guineas. Contact: The Editors.
EX-DISPLAY CANGLE-shaft, slight wear to flanges otherwise vgc. £1,000 or not. Contact: The Editors
VINE TOMATOES X 4 owner suddenly gone off them. 40p. Contact: The Editors.
RE-CYCLED BRINGLE-shoot shavings. Approx 18 tons. Free to Collector. Contact: The Editors.
KING SIZE ZIP LINK with pneumatic shackle-fittings. No sensible offer entertained. Contact: The Editors.
1928 QUEUING PERISCOPE (brass and mahogany) cash or sexual favours welcomed. Contact: The Editors.
AIR GUITAR STRINGS Bass and Acoustic 6 & 12 string. Free fitting. Contact: The Editors
SIX UNWANTED THINGS
Will sell separately or as a collection.
Evenings and daytime.
Genuine Arthur Maudsleydale Clitoral klaxon. Hardly used. Needs wipe round with surgical spirit. Otherwise immaculate. £40,000.00. It was good for us.
FOR SALE
How to keep Boa Constrictors. (Book and CD) Only £15.00. Not very blood stained.
Astrology Charts (with pus on them). Send details to Mr Sexy P in Milton Keynes.
Free toilet roll tubes available to collector. Pop in any time.
Gun-metal effect gentleman’s handbag, never used at night, newly adjusted 5 guineas.
Small man, slight wear to flanges otherwise vgc. £1,000.00 or not.
Children x 4. Owner suddenly gone off them. 40p
Cheap Booze making kit. Approx 10 tons. Free to Collector.
Signed unused copy of Big Ranchman Sings Country (by Stet Chetson). £15.00
1928 Husband clasp (brass and mahogany). Cash or sexual favours welcomed.
Stuff with lumps in. Hurry before they dissolve.
Enormous amount of gerbils freshly squeezed in display cabinet.
PERSONAL
Gerbil squeezer (with own display cabinet) would like to meet huge woman with elephantitis for sexual experimentation/dangerous word games.
Lovely old man would like to meet up with anyone who remembers him from the old days
WARNING
Do not engage in dangerous word games with anyone who advertises on this page. If you’d like to know why pop round for a quick round of
Death Scrabble on Wednesday
Prototype Air-propelled Screep-Levelling Scrim-belt. SCDM registered
Only used once. Unwanted gift
Genuine Arthur Maudsleydale Sanitary Gun lubricating spatula. No time wasters please. 12 guineas.
FOR SALE
Husband. Comes with own armchair and collection of airfix model cars. No sensible offer refused.
Learn to make lovely gifts from old newspapers and eggshells. Free booklet, just send £25.00 p&p.
Hurry while stocks last. Only three quarters of an inch left. Don’t delay call today.
Ideas for sale.
Some really good. 50p each.
Found in large red box by the roadside. Huge quantity of stamps, all stuck to envelopes with addresses written on them.
Lost. 1 perfectly good mind.
Whole bag of mauve. £4.50
Big large huge thing. Requires minor repair
Lemon researchers wanted. Good money. No citrus maniacs please.
WARNING:
Never send money to anyone who advertises on this page. For further details send £5.00 to The Editors
