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tito


Member *

Posted Mon Jul 6th, 2009 9:53am Post subject: consequences
The old game of consequences, someone starts the story and someone follows on. Please feel free to. I will begin,

'Gladys paced up and down before the fireplace, wringing her hands fiercely around a handkerchief and still in the background Mrs Havers went on, her voice shrill and high and relentless.

"Of course when Vivian was ite in Keenyar her found the mest wanderful febric, native yuh know, end he bought it beck har. I hed it made intuh cartans for the narsry. Nenny tells me that....' Mrs Havers paused and Gladys cleared her throat, making herself ready to speak, but on Mrs Havers ploughed,'....little Aubrey jast adores them'.

Mrs Havers finally sat back and was quiet. The relief of remembering her six year old son's name bringing a maternal glow to her cheeks.

The year was 1935 and Gladys's stomach turned as she remembered afresh that she was houseguest here, at this mausoloeum of a house in Chelsea until, at least early the following year.

Then the door handle turned and in walked.........(your turn)

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tito


Member *

Posted Mon Jul 6th, 2009 9:53pm Post subject: consequences
The old game of consequences, someone starts the story and someone follows on. Please feel free to. I will begin,

'Gladys paced up and down before the fireplace, wringing her hands fiercely around a handkerchief and still in the background Mrs Havers went on, her voice shrill and high and relentless.

"Of course when Vivian was ite in Keenyar her found the mest wanderful febric, native yuh know, end he bought it beck har. I hed it made intuh cartans for the narsry. Nenny tells me that....' Mrs Havers paused and Gladys cleared her throat, making herself ready to speak, but on Mrs Havers ploughed,'....little Aubrey jast adores them'.

Mrs Havers finally sat back and was quiet. The relief of remembering her six year old son's name bringing a maternal glow to her cheeks.

The year was 1935 and Gladys's stomach turned as she remembered afresh that she was houseguest here, at this mausoloeum of a house in Chelsea until, at least early the following year.

Then the door handle turned and in walked.........(your turn)Clive Flint-Plath.

Gladys caught her breath,

'Clive!'

'Gladys' he replied.

Gladys recovered herself and said to Mrs Havers,

'Mrs Havers, this is Clive Flint-Plath,..'

'The butler told me to come right in' said Clive.

Mrs Havers made a note to remonstrate with Fontanelle the butler the following day,

Gladys went on,

'we met when Clive helped me. I was being accosted by a ...........(cont)

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PamJH


Member

Posted Tue Jul 7th, 2009 2:08am Post subject: consequences
a most repulsive man who claimed to be investigating a purse snatching. Well, he wanted to see my purse to see if I had stolen it. I mean, really, Mrs. Havers, as if I would pinch a purse when I clearly had my own."

"I'll bet you're capable, Gladys," Mrs. Havers said, taking an instant dislike to Clive. "And I'll bet he was in on it, too."

"Mrs. Havers doesn't mean that, Clive," Gladys said, putting her hand on Clive's burly forearm. "She's just being entertaining."

"Entertaining, my hind leg," Mrs. Havers said. "Come to think of it, this Clive, if that is his real name, looks to me like a criminal I once saw on television. He was accused of......"

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tito


Member *

Posted Tue Jul 7th, 2009 12:27pm Post subject: consequences
a most repulsive man who claimed to be investigating a purse snatching. Well, he wanted to see my purse to see if I had stolen it. I mean, really, Mrs. Havers, as if I would pinch a purse when I clearly had my own."

"I'll bet you're capable, Gladys," Mrs. Havers said, taking an instant dislike to Clive. "And I'll bet he was in on it, too."

"Mrs. Havers doesn't mean that, Clive," Gladys said, putting her hand on Clive's burly forearm. "She's just being entertaining."

"Entertaining, my hind leg," Mrs. Havers said. "Come to think of it, this Clive, if that is his real name, looks to me like a criminal I once saw on television. He was accused of......"

'sheep rustling! At least I think it was rustling sheep....' Mrs Havers grimaced,
'I don't mind telling you Gladys, I don't like the look of him at all! He reminds me of Uncle Randolph and you know what I told you about him!'.

An ominous silence fell over the room. Clive slowly reached into his trouser pocket and pulled out his.............(quote)

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PamJH


Member

Posted Tue Jul 7th, 2009 3:01pm Post subject: consequences
[quote="Tito"]

'sheep rustling! At least I think it was rustling sheep....' Mrs Havers grimaced,
'I don't mind telling you Gladys, I don't like the look of him at all! He reminds me of Uncle Randolph and you know what I told you about him!'.

An ominous silence fell over the room. Clive slowly reached into his trouser pocket and pulled out his.............(quote)

ornate, gold-plated pocketwatch. He flipped open the lid to check the time and smiled, an evil grin befitting the monster Mrs. Havers rightly determined him to be.

"In just two minutes, Gladys, you'll not have to worry about Mrs. Havers and her suspicions," Clive said.

"Oh, what could possibly happen in two minutes?" Mrs. Havers asked, before poking Clive in the stomach with her walking stick. "I've been alive for 72 years and nothing has ever happened in two minutes."

"Just you wait, Mrs. Havers," Clive said. He peered at his watch again. "Now we have only 50 seconds until...."

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tito


Member *

Posted Tue Jul 7th, 2009 6:19pm Post subject: consequences
[quote="PamJH"]

'sheep rustling! At least I think it was rustling sheep....' Mrs Havers grimaced,
'I don't mind telling you Gladys, I don't like the look of him at all! He reminds me of Uncle Randolph and you know what I told you about him!'.

An ominous silence fell over the room. Clive slowly reached into his trouser pocket and pulled out his.............(quote)

ornate, gold-plated pocketwatch. He flipped open the lid to check the time and smiled, an evil grin befitting the monster Mrs. Havers rightly determined him to be.

"In just two minutes, Gladys, you'll not have to worry about Mrs. Havers and her suspicions," Clive said.

"Oh, what could possibly happen in two minutes?" Mrs. Havers asked, before poking Clive in the stomach with her walking stick. "I've been alive for 72 years and nothing has ever happened in two minutes."

"Just you wait, Mrs. Havers," Clive said. He peered at his watch again. "Now we have only 50 seconds until...."

'I have to take my penicillin tablet. Sorry, Gladys but you might want to pop along to the clinic and get yourself checked out, there's no shame in it really, Why! I understand that Henry the eigth suffered from the same...'
Gladys mauled her handkerchief, 'Oh Clive, stop it! stopit! Do you think I haven't already been to the clinic.? Do you think I didn't notice the rash? Just get on with it! What is going to happen in the next two minutes?'

Mrs Havers smiled 'Actually you've only got about thirty seconds left!'

Clive scolwed. Mrs Havers was a tougher cookie than her imagined. He wasn't going to be beaten by this old crone. Quick as a flash he pulled one of the curtains down,

'My Cartons!' Shouted Mrs Havers.

He threw it over her head,

'Gladys!' he commanded 'Get the sellotape!' Sobbing in shock and confusion Gladys ran to the desk drawer and got the tape. Clive snatched it off her and firmly bound Mrs Havers up. He was very adept at it but Gladys wasn't surprised. It was hardly the first time he'd done something like that.......

Then they both froze......there was a bump in the hallway and the door swung open! In walked.....(quote)

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snogmo1


Member

Posted Tue Jul 7th, 2009 6:43pm Post subject: consequences
[quote="Tito"]

'sheep rustling! At least I think it was rustling sheep....' Mrs Havers grimaced,
'I don't mind telling you Gladys, I don't like the look of him at all! He reminds me of Uncle Randolph and you know what I told you about him!'.

An ominous silence fell over the room. Clive slowly reached into his trouser pocket and pulled out his.............(quote)

ornate, gold-plated pocketwatch. He flipped open the lid to check the time and smiled, an evil grin befitting the monster Mrs. Havers rightly determined him to be.

"In just two minutes, Gladys, you'll not have to worry about Mrs. Havers and her suspicions," Clive said.

"Oh, what could possibly happen in two minutes?" Mrs. Havers asked, before poking Clive in the stomach with her walking stick. "I've been alive for 72 years and nothing has ever happened in two minutes."

"Just you wait, Mrs. Havers," Clive said. He peered at his watch again. "Now we have only 50 seconds until...."

'I have to take my penicillin tablet. Sorry, Gladys but you might want to pop along to the clinic and get yourself checked out, there's no shame in it really, Why! I understand that Henry the eigth suffered from the same...'
Gladys mauled her handkerchief, 'Oh Clive, stop it! stopit! Do you think I haven't already been to the clinic.? Do you think I didn't notice the rash? Just get on with it! What is going to happen in the next two minutes?'

Mrs Havers smiled 'Actually you've only got about thirty seconds left!'

Clive scolwed. Mrs Havers was a tougher cookie than her imagined. He wasn't going to be beaten by this old crone. Quick as a flash he pulled one of the curtains down,

'My Cartons!' Shouted Mrs Havers.

He threw it over her head,

'Gladys!' he commanded 'Get the sellotape!' Sobbing in shock and confusion Gladys ran to the desk drawer and got the tape. Clive snatched it off her and firmly bound Mrs Havers up. He was very adept at it but Gladys wasn't surprised. It was hardly the first time he'd done something like that.......

Then they both froze......there was a bump in the hallway and the door swung open! In walked.....(quote)

A time-traveller from the 21st century.
“I have so much to ask you all,” he gasped “like were you got sellotape, a tv showing sheep rustlers on Crimewatch and how old is little Aubrey, considering his mother is 72”?

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Nitro


Member

Posted Tue Jul 7th, 2009 9:17pm Post subject: consequences
Clive turned, the sellotape still in his hands, and glowered with fear and suspicion at this stranger who had suddenly intruded on him. He reflexively took a step forward of the women to demonstrate to the stranger who among them had the most power.

Gladys stood with mouth agape. This new man was much taller than Clive. He was easily over six feet and a few inches. He was one of the most beautiufl men she'd ever seen. Silky black hair that fell to his shoulders framing a slightly tanned face set with piercing, sky-blue eyes that she quickly imagined she could fall into forever and never be heard from again. His modest, straight nose was centered above a beautifully shaped mouth with ruby-red lips that were slightly upturned to the side, almost in a smirk but not demonstrating any arrogance.

The man noticed her admiration and smiled slightly, with a bit of embarassment. This threw Gladys over the edge and she determined at that moment that her destiny lie with this Adonis from the Future. She knew that he was no threat to her and she would, with every opportunity that presented itself, sway him into her arms.

Clive, sensing with every passing second that Gladys was no longer his own, authoratatively asked the stranger what his name was.

"My name is Cicero Drake. You Sir, may call me Drake. However, these ladies may call me whatever they like." and he bowed a little towards them in deference.

Clive knew a threat when he saw one. There was no way in this world some stranger was going to be the only man in the room so long as he could help it.

"Well Mr.Drake. That's quite an announcement while just barging into a room full of strangers. Nevermind the fear you might be causing these poor women." Clive said and in part to distract Drake from the slightly bound up old woman. "Just what 'future' are you from, exactly?", Clive asked in a dictatorial tone.

Drake knew this kind of man. He'd encountered them before. They assumed if they behaved like generals they would be thought of as generals. The arrogance was overwhelming and the condescension paltable. But Drake knew how to handle this fellow, and that was to treat him like an ill-behaving puppy. "Just pop his leash..", Drake thought to himself.

"I believe it's your turn for introductions, Sir,"Drake remarked while smiling in a friendly fashion,"and after they're presented, I will happily tell you where I"m from and how I came to be here."

...

Really? Wow.

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snogmo1


Member

Posted Tue Jul 7th, 2009 9:47pm Post subject: consequences
Clive turned, the sellotape still in his hands, and glowered with fear and suspicion at this stranger who had suddenly intruded on him. He reflexively took a step forward of the women to demonstrate to the stranger who among them had the most power.

Gladys stood with mouth agape. This new man was much taller than Clive. He was easily over six feet and a few inches. He was one of the most beautiufl men she'd ever seen. Silky black hair that fell to his shoulders framing a slightly tanned face set with piercing, sky-blue eyes that she quickly imagined she could fall into forever and never be heard from again. His modest, straight nose was centered above a beautifully shaped mouth with ruby-red lips that were slightly upturned to the side, almost in a smirk but not demonstrating any arrogance.

The man noticed her admiration and smiled slightly, with a bit of embarassment. This threw Gladys over the edge and she determined at that moment that her destiny lie with this Adonis from the Future. She knew that he was no threat to her and she would, with every opportunity that presented itself, sway him into her arms.

Clive, sensing with every passing second that Gladys was no longer his own, authoratatively asked the stranger what his name was.

"My name is Cicero Drake. You Sir, may call me Drake. However, these ladies may call me whatever they like." and he bowed a little towards them in deference.

Clive knew a threat when he saw one. There was no way in this world some stranger was going to be the only man in the room so long as he could help it.

"Well Mr.Drake. That's quite an announcement while just barging into a room full of strangers. Nevermind the fear you might be causing these poor women." Clive said and in part to distract Drake from the slightly bound up old woman. "Just what 'future' are you from, exactly?", Clive asked in a dictatorial tone.

Drake knew this kind of man. He'd encountered them before. They assumed if they behaved like generals they would be thought of as generals. The arrogance was overwhelming and the condescension paltable. But Drake knew how to handle this fellow, and that was to treat him like an ill-behaving puppy. "Just pop his leash..", Drake thought to himself.

"I believe it's your turn for introductions, Sir,"Drake remarked while smiling in a friendly fashion,"and after they're presented, I will happily tell you where I"m from and how I came to be here."




...

“So be it, Sirrah.” , replied Clive, thrusting out his insubstantial chest, “I am Sir Clive and Lady Ffion Ffaffington-Llashitt, Son of the late Randolph Ffaffington-Llashitt. Yes, Mrs. Havers, your instincts were correct, I am Uncle Randolphs Son and Neice and living proof that one should not mix alcohol, scissors and time travel and I am here for one reason and one reason only. To avenge poor Uncle Randy.!” He brandished his roll of 21st Century Sellotape and pointed to the 37” plasma sitting in the corner of the room. “’Twas I that brought these monstrous inventions from the future into your substantial Chelsea abode and I did it for one reason and one reason only……………………………….......................................................................

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Nitro


Member

Posted Wed Jul 8th, 2009 9:06am Post subject: consequences
To confuse the forum members of one Stephen Fry. Yes, my lunacy, my bikes, and my books will do all the work for me. Oh, and this sellotape. Though I am having some problems getting it off my hand. Say Drake, do be a good friend and help me take this stuff off that I might carry on with my wayward goals.."

Drake took two steps towards Clive and before he knew what had happeed, Drake bound the bumbling fools mouth as quick as lightening burning a hole through a cats tail. "Which hurts by the way" Drake indicated with compassion," So, maybe you should go ask your crazy Mom and Dad if you can read this. Don't worry children, we won't wait...."

They quickly grew bored of their not-waiting for concerned somebodies to return, and so Drake began inspecting the time machine he'd rode in on and Gladys continued to inspect Drakes physique, picking up where she had left off. But then she remembered the semi-bound old woman and said...

Really? Wow.

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tito


Member *

Posted Wed Jul 8th, 2009 1:43pm Post subject: consequences
To confuse the forum members of one Stephen Fry. Yes, my lunacy, my bikes, and my books will do all the work for me. Oh, and this sellotape. Though I am having some problems getting it off my hand. Say Drake, do be a good friend and help me take this stuff off that I might carry on with my wayward goals.."

Drake took two steps towards Clive and before he knew what had happeed, Drake bound the bumbling fools mouth as quick as lightening burning a hole through a cats tail. "Which hurts by the way" Drake indicated with compassion," So, maybe you should go ask your crazy Mom and Dad if you can read this. Don't worry children, we won't wait...."

They quickly grew bored of their not-waiting for concerned somebodies to return, and so Drake began inspecting the time machine he'd rode in on and Gladys continued to inspect Drakes physique, picking up where she had left off. But then she remembered the semi-bound old woman and said...

'Fontanelle! Bring me the scissors.' Quick as a speeding carthorse the old butler, Fontanelle, entered the room brandishing his scissors.

Gladys snatched them and cut Mrs Havers loose.

'Oh, Mrs havers, I just couldn't do it to you, I couldn't explain your disappearance to little Aubrey knowing I was partly responsible!'

'Yes, about that,' muttered Drake , 'how did little Aubrey come about? I mean' he sniggered, 'you're no spring chicken are you dear?'

'Mwuhahaha' giggled Mrs Havers, 'Do you imagine that there's only one time machine? Why, when Vivian said he wanted children I bought one from Harrods and zipped into the future, searching for an answer! And I found it with IVF'

'IVF, isn't that a type of milk?' asked Gladys.

'No you silly gel, that's UHT!'.

Gladys blushed.

'The only downside was that Vivian couldn't father little Aubrey..the sperm, forgive me for speaking so bluntly Gladys, was donated by that famous politician.......(quote)

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snogmo1


Member

Posted Wed Jul 8th, 2009 4:52pm Post subject: consequences
To confuse the forum members of one Stephen Fry. Yes, my lunacy, my bikes, and my books will do all the work for me. Oh, and this sellotape. Though I am having some problems getting it off my hand. Say Drake, do be a good friend and help me take this stuff off that I might carry on with my wayward goals.."

Drake took two steps towards Clive and before he knew what had happeed, Drake bound the bumbling fools mouth as quick as lightening burning a hole through a cats tail. "Which hurts by the way" Drake indicated with compassion," So, maybe you should go ask your crazy Mom and Dad if you can read this. Don't worry children, we won't wait...."

They quickly grew bored of their not-waiting for concerned somebodies to return, and so Drake began inspecting the time machine he'd rode in on and Gladys continued to inspect Drakes physique, picking up where she had left off. But then she remembered the semi-bound old woman and said...

'Fontanelle! Bring me the scissors.' Quick as a speeding carthorse the old butler, Fontanelle, entered the room brandishing his scissors.

Gladys snatched them and cut Mrs Havers loose.

'Oh, Mrs havers, I just couldn't do it to you, I couldn't explain your disappearance to little Aubrey knowing I was partly responsible!'

'Yes, about that,' muttered Drake , 'how did little Aubrey come about? I mean' he sniggered, 'you're no spring chicken are you dear?'

'Mwuhahaha' giggled Mrs Havers, 'Do you imagine that there's only one time machine? Why, when Vivian said he wanted children I bought one from Harrods and zipped into the future, searching for an answer! And I found it with IVF'

'IVF, isn't that a type of milk?' asked Gladys.

'No you silly gel, that's UHT!'.

Gladys blushed.

'The only downside was that Vivian couldn't father little Aubrey..the sperm, forgive me for speaking so bluntly Gladys, was donated by that famous politician.......(quote)

Oh, what's his name? Blond cheppy, bit thick. Boris something. Jepson, Jenson? You know the cove. Mayor of somewhere or other. Sires marvelous, robust orfspring, dontchaknow. Anyhoo, caused a bit of an old hoo haa in the 21st Century, letters in The Tames and front page of something they call The Daily Star. I had to change my name to disguise my identity. I called myself.....

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Nitro


Member

Posted Thu Jul 9th, 2009 6:48am Post subject: consequences
Bart."

There was a too-sweet silence in the room. A pin dropped. Someone might have even pissed on themselves a little, but no one had detected the odor yet. Still, it was silent in the room. Quiet even.

"Bart! Aren't any of you fools listening?!" he shouted.

Twitter, twitter, twitter...

"Say something you god damned idiots!". He seemed desperate again.

It was at this point, Clive looked down and noticed a little pool of piddle next to his own shoe....

Really? Wow.

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tito


Member *

Posted Thu Jul 9th, 2009 4:03pm Post subject: consequences
Ah,' Bart."

There was a too-sweet silence in the room. A pin dropped. Someone might have even pissed on themselves a little, but no one had detected the odor yet. Still, it was silent in the room. Quiet even.

"Bart! Aren't any of you fools listening?!" he shouted.

Twitter, twitter, twitter...

"Say something you god damned idiots!". He seemed desperate again.

It was at this point, Clive looked down and noticed a little pool of piddle next to his own shoe....

'Fontanelle!' chided Mrs Havers, 'you've urinated up our guest's leg!'

'I do apologise Madam, I just couldn't have made it to the bog....'

'Fontanlle!' Mrs Havers re-chided.

'Sorry madam, I mean the lavatory, and I thought that as Mr Clive wasn't flavour of the month it was better to relieve myself on him, rather than the Aspidistra stand'


Mrs Havers smiled,

'Well that was very thoughful of you Fontanelle, think no more about it'

'Can we get back to the point please? Who is this Bart character?'

' Ah' said Mrs Havers 'Yes, he is a world renowned.....' (quote)

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Nitro


Member

Posted Fri Jul 10th, 2009 4:40pm Post subject: consequences
"Hang on a second there Mrs.Havers..."Drake said, as he interrupted her with precision.

"Did I not just declare myself Bart? And have I not declared myself a time-traveling Adonis? I mean really, here I am being stunningly handsome and polite, even to this over-the-hill frump of a man Clive, and you're all ready to set our little story to fast forward in such a way it would make a kick of nitrous-oxide seem slow. Have you no heart for your audience? Or my handmade boots? None of you have even had the manners to comment aloud on how beautiful I am."

Drake turned away to hide his tears and readjust his moustache.

Mrs.Havers said,"If I tried to pinch your butt, would it make you feel better?"
Drake turned with a bit of a pout still on and sniffed like a child."Probably."

Clive stomped his foot and said,"I'm not Job for god sakes".
"And I'm not Aubrey."said Fontanelle.

Gladys suddenly burped so loudly everyones hair blew around on their heads and the window curtains fell down.

"Well,"said Mrs.Havers,"I guess that means...

Really? Wow.

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