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j9r


Member

Posted Sun Apr 6th, 2008 5:08pm Post subject: Constant lateness - WHY????
I don't understand how hard is it to plan and show up on time more often than not. I mean I understand the occasional problem with traffic, lost keys, what ever. But every time and by a lot - 25 minutes late to a 30 minute meeting. As a person who works very hard to be on time for everything I need to understand this because unless I get some insights really soon I will be ending a very close friendship over this issue. 'Cause to me it is completely disrespectful, passive aggressive and insensitive.

---j

"I'm from New Jersey, if the world ended today, I'd adjust" - John Gorka

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Panja


Member

Posted Sun Apr 6th, 2008 9:00pm Post subject: Constant lateness - WHY????
I don't know what to say really. I find I'm late (or just barely on time) constantly, and it's not at all meant to be disrespectful or anything like that, I just have a hard time focusing on getting everything together. It doesn't matter what time I get up because if I get up early I think to myself that I can take longer to do things, but I tend to overestimate just how much longer I can take. Whereas if I get up on time or late, I still tend to take a long time. I don't really know what goes on, I just get distracted I guess. I don't mean to make light of it, but I found a video the other day that actually pretty much sums it up for me: "I have to get ready". I know it's terrible though and I feel bad about it every single time, but it's just really difficult for some reason I can't explain.

I've never been late by more than a few minutes though, so I don't know why your friend would be so late unless maybe s/he lives a long way away and repeatedly underestimates the travel time or something. Or perhaps they have a medical problem that causes them trouble in getting out of bed and getting ready in a timely manner, could also possibly be sleep problems. Whatever the reason, I'd like to think they are not doing it intentionally just to spite you.

Have you asked them directly about it? If not, you should sit down with them and let them know how you feel about the situation and hopefully you can work something out or get some insight directly from them. I wouldn't want you to lose a friendship over this, but if it's bothering you to a point where it's causing you stress, and if they are not willing to explain or try and fix it, then perhaps it would be best to remove yourself from the situation.

I really hope you can work it out though, close friendships are hard to come by.

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ClareBear


Moderator

Posted Sun Apr 6th, 2008 10:03pm Post subject: Constant lateness - WHY????
I dunno, it's always the other way round for me, 'cos i'm always early for stuff.

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Anonymous


Unregistered

Posted Tue Apr 8th, 2008 10:41pm Post subject: Constant lateness - WHY????
I'm always early to stuff too. I was raised with the rather old-fashioned maxim that one isn't on time unless one is early.

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Zefla


Member

Posted Wed Apr 9th, 2008 6:11pm Post subject: Constant lateness - WHY????
My friend does this aswell. He's just massively disorganised and used to turn up about 2 hours late for everything. We started telling him to meet us at 3pm that way he'll turn up early for 6pm which is when we actually want him.

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MusicalMaven


Member

Posted Thu Apr 10th, 2008 12:51am Post subject: Constant lateness - WHY????
I'm with the original post on this one; I too was taught that you're late if you're less than 10 minutes early... and any time I am late for something, it's due to a traffic accident or some other strange occurence I couldn't have possibly planned for.

I honestly don't understand how you can always be a few minutes late to things - is it because things take longer than you estimate? Perhaps a change on your clocks is in order.

This is one of my biggest pet peeves; a friend who is chronically late actually gets invitations to be places 15-30 minutes earlier than they actually start, because we got tired of missing reservations or first acts of plays because of her.

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amyl_nitrate


Member

Posted Fri Apr 11th, 2008 5:37pm Post subject: Constant lateness - WHY????
My friend does this aswell. He's just massively disorganised and used to turn up about 2 hours late for everything. We started telling him to meet us at 3pm that way he'll turn up early for 6pm which is when we actually want him.

I do that too with people who are consistently late. It works too.

Assuming direct control...

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Catt_H


Member

Posted Wed May 28th, 2008 7:06pm Post subject: Constant lateness - WHY????
My mum's always the late one in our house. You ask her what time dinner is and it'll be "half an hour".

An hour later is still isn't done...

If we, as the family, need to go anywhere, and we plan to leave by say, 9am, we won't go until about 11am, but if we specifically need to be somewhere like a wedding or a school meeting, we have to get there really early.
It's quite bizarre the way her mind works.
And she is probably the most organised person in the house... the rest of us just tend to roll around glancing at watches without really looking and seem to end up where we are supposed to be...

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jonesy


Member

Posted Sat Jul 5th, 2008 10:36am Post subject: Constant lateness - WHY????
I was. Until I learned to manage my time better. My mind was not positive, and just before my meetings, I had to think. Have I done this, have I done so and so?. Like I say, it was mind set and time management. If you knew a bomb was exploding at mid-day, you would focus miraculously and leave early.

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