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Shimobe


Member

Posted Fri Jun 11th, 2010 6:30pm Post subject: Crush My Wish

I saw this game on another forum, and it was pretty long-lived. Basically, one person makes a wish, and the following poster grants it but grants in such a way that the intent of the wisher is effectively counteracted. For example:

Post: I wish I had a pony!

Reply: Granted! A beautiful pony shows up in your back yard. It has equine AIDS, and when you approach it to ride it, you make it terribly ill. Two weeks later, two of its legs have fallen off, and it drags itself around your yard, neighing pathetically.

Being really mean is part of the point. Then the wish-crusher makes a wish of his/her own for the next person in line to crush, and so on and so forth. Thus, to begin:

I wish I gained a thousand dollars every day in my checking account.

[insert wit here]

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zomgmouse


Member

Posted Sat Jun 12th, 2010 5:43am Post subject: Crush My Wish

Granted, but for every one you gain, you lose two.

I wish for no more runny noses.

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To be is to do - Socrates
To do is to be - Sartre
Do be do be do - Sinatra
(-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.)

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AC


Member

Posted Sat Jun 12th, 2010 5:58am Post subject: Crush My Wish

Granted, but you're going to be coughing all the time now.

I wish I could eat nothing but chocolate and still lose weight.

"Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you." -Oscar Wilde

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speckledband


Member

Posted Sat Jun 12th, 2010 2:36pm Post subject: Crush My Wish

Granted, but your teeth will rot.

I wish I could see Stephen Fry in Oxford.

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zomgmouse


Member

Posted Sun Jun 13th, 2010 6:51am Post subject: Crush My Wish

Granted, but it's not the one you're actually looking for.

I wish my eyes could take photographs.

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To be is to do - Socrates
To do is to be - Sartre
Do be do be do - Sinatra
(-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.)

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Ambrosia


Member

Posted Sun Jun 13th, 2010 11:25am Post subject: Crush My Wish

Granted, but you'll keep forgetting to take the lens cap off.

I wish I could afford a laptop.


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speckledband


Member

Posted Sun Jun 13th, 2010 1:45pm Post subject: Crush My Wish

Granted but when you turn it on it will explode.

I wish my dog could talk.

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AC


Member

Posted Sun Jun 13th, 2010 3:27pm Post subject: Crush My Wish

Granted, but the dog will constantly insult you.

I wish I could go on vacation.

"Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you." -Oscar Wilde

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Ambrosia


Member

Posted Sun Jun 13th, 2010 6:13pm Post subject: Crush My Wish

Granted, but it won't stop raining.

I wish I could see the aurora borealis.


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speckledband


Member

Posted Sun Jun 13th, 2010 8:46pm Post subject: Crush My Wish

Granted, but as soon as they're finished you will go blind.

I wish I could own every book that has ever been written.

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zomgmouse


Member

Posted Mon Jun 14th, 2010 12:44pm Post subject: Crush My Wish

Granted, they're in this hip-groovy new form called "ashes".

I wish for another world I can visit that isn't bad.

Twitter
Sporadically-updated blog

To be is to do - Socrates
To do is to be - Sartre
Do be do be do - Sinatra
(-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.)

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speckledband


Member

Posted Mon Jun 14th, 2010 2:35pm Post subject: Crush My Wish

Granted, but when you come back to this world your memories will be deleted forever by a Cyberman.

I wish I had a never ending supply of Twinings tea.

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AC


Member

Posted Mon Jun 14th, 2010 6:57pm Post subject: Crush My Wish

Granted, but you can't drink any of it.

I wish I could fly to the moon.

"Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you." -Oscar Wilde

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speckledband


Member

Posted Mon Jun 14th, 2010 8:44pm Post subject: Crush My Wish

Granted, but your rocket will only have enough fuel for one journey, which means you'll have to stay there.

I wish that I could have my own TARDIS.

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zomgmouse


Member

Posted Fri Jun 18th, 2010 12:51pm Post subject: Crush My Wish

Granted, it's a model that a blind chimpanzee put together out of marshmallows. Needless to say it doesn't actually go anywhere and looks more like a clubbed seal. In fact, it is just a clubbed seal. Enjoy.

I wish someone paid me to do nothing.

Twitter
Sporadically-updated blog

To be is to do - Socrates
To do is to be - Sartre
Do be do be do - Sinatra
(-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.)

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