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michael


Member

Posted Mon Apr 25th, 2011 2:41pm Post subject: Dear...

Dear Student,

You say you turned in that assignment from 6 weeks ago. I don't have a grade for it, or a picture of it, or anything like that. What, you forgot to turn it in and left it under your bed?

Look out, cos I'm not teaching here next year, and so I seriously do not care what grade I give you nor do I care what your evaluation says.

Though that could easily work to your benefit...

(feel free to write other letters here)

"HELLO I'M TACTILE !" is an anagram of my name

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IdeaCollector


Member

Posted Mon Apr 25th, 2011 6:21pm Post subject: Dear...

Dear Unnamed Person,

If you start a sentence with "This may be too soon to ask it" or "This may be an inappropriate time to ask" or anything of that nature, what you are about to say is too soon, inappropriate or just plain rude.

Please hang onto those thoughts and if you find yourself typing them out go to the nearest wall and slam your head against it until you understand you shouldn't send it.

Oh and tell your friends.

Ta.

I used to be EternalStudent on these forums until the switch over. So don't get excited..I'm not someone new and exciting. I'm just me :P

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IdeaCollector


Member

Posted Mon Apr 25th, 2011 6:49pm Post subject: Dear...

Ooo in that same vein...

Dear Ex employers of my little brother,

I hope that one day you don't cover your tracks when you fire someone so that they don't make your health insurance costs go up. In fact I hope you go out of business and are sued for every last penny you have.

You've screwed over way too many of your loyal employees because you didn't want to pay more for insurance. You should be ashamed. So much for the quality and personal care that come from running a mom and pop type of store. He would have been better off at Walmart

I used to be EternalStudent on these forums until the switch over. So don't get excited..I'm not someone new and exciting. I'm just me :P

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michael


Member

Posted Tue Apr 26th, 2011 3:53pm Post subject: Dear...

ouch!

Dear Mortgage Peepul,

Please make sure that your call centers employ folks who know how to explain complicated things, like interest on a prepayment, etc. Also, please make sure they know how to add and compute interest. This way, they will not cause anyone else's significant other to absolutely panic and get incredibly depressed over thinking that they owed you $20,000 instead of $900.

And I hope that $900 is the amount the next, and every, time we call and on paperwork, or I will personally fly to your new jersey offices and hide petri dish cultures of dangerous insect eggs throughout the building.

Sincerely,

Friend of an Entomologist

"HELLO I'M TACTILE !" is an anagram of my name

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IdeaCollector


Member

Posted Tue Apr 26th, 2011 5:42pm Post subject: Dear...

michael I'm going to copy your last letter and edit it a tiny bit for my needs.

Dear Medicare,

Please make sure that your call centers employ folks who know how to explain complicated things, like everything that medicare does (seriously sooo complicated). Also, please make sure they know how to add and bill correctly. This way, they will not cause anyone else's parents to absolutely panic and get incredibly depressed over thinking that you won't cover their daughter's surgery.

And I hope that you understand your policies the next, and every, time we call and on paperwork, or I will personally fly to your main offices which I think are in Maryland and hide rotten eggs throughout the building's air vents.

Sincerely,

SICK OF INSURANCE!

I used to be EternalStudent on these forums until the switch over. So don't get excited..I'm not someone new and exciting. I'm just me :P

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AC


Member

Posted Wed Apr 27th, 2011 12:46pm Post subject: Dear...

Dear Donald Trump and Other Assorted Idiots,

Barack Obama is an American citizen. He was born in this country in 1961 to an American mother. We all know that your insistence that he was born in Kenya or Indonesia or on Neptune or anywhere but this country is because you can't stand the idea of someone who isn't 100% white being president. Just because he's not who you wanted to be president doesn't mean that he isn't qualified.

You've never done this with any other president. Your racism is showing, and it's damn ugly. You don't really care about America. You just want to put some other white, ultra-conservative, fundamentalist Christian in the White House in 2012, and you're afraid you won't be able to do it. Well, I suggest you all shut up and grow up, or find some other country in the world that's willing to put up with your stupidity.

-A Rational Human Being

"Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you." -Oscar Wilde

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IdeaCollector


Member

Posted Wed Apr 27th, 2011 9:51pm Post subject: Dear...

Amen to that AnCBeck I'll tag onto that.

Dear fundamentalist Christians with access to the media,

Stop it. Ok? Just stop it. Jesus said the second greatest commandment is to love thy neighbor like thyself and ya'll know full well that he went on to say your neighbor is anyone even the least of humanity.

Stop with the hatred bull and stop making the rest of us look bad.

-A Rational and Compassionate Christian

I used to be EternalStudent on these forums until the switch over. So don't get excited..I'm not someone new and exciting. I'm just me :P

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AC


Member

Posted Thu Apr 28th, 2011 6:37am Post subject: Dear...

Somehow I don't think the release of Obama's birth certificate will shut these people up. *sigh* And I tag onto yours too, IdeaCollector. It couldn't be more true!
And now:

Dear fellow college students,

You're all horribly loud. Do you really have to yell at each other over everything, squeal and scream just because some boy smiled at you for two seconds, and turn your circa 2001 pop music up to full volume? Seriously, use your indoor voice, relax, and learn how to use the volume button properly. When people are trying to study, your singing Aaron Carter songs is NOT appealing! Also, if you MUST play your music so loud, can't you at least play Bruce Springsteen or Led Zeppelin?

Sincerely,
So glad I'm graduating in a few weeks

"Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you." -Oscar Wilde

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joan


Member

Posted Thu Apr 28th, 2011 2:31pm Post subject: Dear...

Dear Mr Trump,
Please ensure you win the republican presidential nomination, because I so so want that nice Mr Obama to win in 2012, and your nomination would make it so.

PS
Trump means fart where I come from!


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joan


Member

Posted Fri Apr 29th, 2011 1:51am Post subject: Dear...

PPS In view your name, you shouldn't be pushing questions about where Obama comes from!


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IdeaCollector


Member

Posted Fri Apr 29th, 2011 2:22am Post subject: Dear...

Dear joan,

I admire your optimism regarding Mr Trump and the fact that he would never be elected. I think the American people would prefer to vote for a celebrity but I have turned in many ways unnecessarily cynical regarding our political system.

Thanks for reminding me that I should put a bit of faith in humanity until they prove otherwise. I know this letter isn't a complaint but I needed to say this. Rock on joan!

Me

I used to be EternalStudent on these forums until the switch over. So don't get excited..I'm not someone new and exciting. I'm just me :P

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michael


Member

Posted Fri Apr 29th, 2011 3:01am Post subject: Dear...

Dear Student,

Thanks for the email! In regards to your question, "when do I need to turn in my final project", the answer is, yesterday.

Have a good summer!

-Prof

"HELLO I'M TACTILE !" is an anagram of my name

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Nitro


Member

Posted Sun May 1st, 2011 6:37am Post subject: Dear...

Dear Congressman,

Please stop accepting lunch invitations from overpaid lobbyists who represent the interests of the insurance industry. Also, please stop voting for bills that further oppress those who are already poor, sick, homeless, mentally ill, and/or unemployed. Could you leave your nice, air conditioned office once in a while and actually walk a mile in the shoes of these people? I realize they would be more uncomfortable than the $400 loafers you may be accustomed to, but I think the experience might frighten and disgust you enough to cause you to THINK more consideratly about the constituents you currently represent.

Also, please stop going to the barber shop that gives all of you those awful haircuts from 1952. They make you look much older than you probably are.

Thanks for reading. And if you respond personally to my requests, you get extra brownie points and I may consider you next time we all vote.

Regards,
N to the I to the T to the R to the O

Really? Wow.

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michael


Member

Posted Wed May 4th, 2011 9:22pm Post subject: Dear...

Dear White Dude,

..................... ......
.................. ...........
.......................... ...
...... .......................
............. .............
......... ........... .......
...... .......... .........

Respectfully,

"HELLO I'M TACTILE !" is an anagram of my name

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joan


Member

Posted Thu May 5th, 2011 8:00am Post subject: Dear...

Dear Kate,
Please read this letter:

http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/features/a-le.....6044962486

(It is an author's imaginings about what advice the previous 'commoner' who married into Royalty would give Kate Middleton.
Quite funny!)


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