STEPHEN FRY

Dear brain,
Why can't you be happy with just going to the cinema and seeing a good... well, brilliant film? Why do you have to give me the desire to watch it again and againandagainandagain? Not only films, also books! I know you remember the whole from seeing it once or twice! Those are precious hours of my life you know... I could at least watch another good filmor read another good book! But I can't shake it off and must go to see it in bad quality on the internet until he DVD comes out...
Yours,
Newly Holmes addicted person. Oh, and your owner.

Dear Dude who has a studio in the same building as me:

No, we don't want to all have a group nude photo to promote the show that your artwork is in.

Yes, you can thank me for saying "no" in a humorous way yesterday, which inspired you to yoink all the other notes sent to all the other studio residents... which were all women... who probably would not have not been so humorous about it.

You're welcome.

Dear Michael,

Would only be worth it if the WHO could be Doctor Who(David Tennant) perhaps.
My dad's Uni had Ted Turner for graduation when he was still married to traitor Jane. Ugh! She was there and all the gushing made me ill!

I dunno,
Marz

Dear DVD Boxset of Monty Pythons Flying Circus,

I feel horrendously ill and leave for Texas in the morning. Why can't you be where I left you? Honestly...hell of a time to sprout legs my dear.

Me.

Dear Snarky Flipper,

I chortled at that.

TM

Dear gadgetgirl,

I FINALLY figured out your reference :mrgreen:. Sorry, I'm no Sherlock.

Dear Mr.Fry's Moustache,

You look good sitting there. Keep it up.

Sincerely,
Not_Sherlock

Dear Hipster,

No, you're not whimsical, orignal, or particularly creative. Your co opting of ancient fashions past doesn't make me think you're ironic, but rather mean spirited in a way you don't even see for yourself.

No, carrying around a victrola attached to your iPod while wearing a cordouroy jacket and head band don't strike me as you being unique. In fact, you look like a xerox copy of about every wannabe in every other big city in the country.

No, I haven't heard of that band whose cd you just found in a thrift store bin and no, I don't think your having done so makes YOU an artist. BTW, the music is rubbish and so is your obligatory nasal whining and eye rolling.

No, I don't think you're a 'pioneer' because you grow tomatoes in the trunk of your car, are on a gluten free ear wax removal and intestinal foraging competition and also choose to live in the most expensive part of town while your parents pay your way through Life.

No, I don't feel sorry for you that you accumulated five figures of college debt getting a degree in ancient greek literature.

No, I don't think having just learned how to make a decent cupcake qualifies you for the title of 'artisanal'.

No, I don't really want to hear about the last after party, party that you went to where everyone turned old vinyl using a hang nail and declared themselves dj's of eternal auditory redemption.

And finally, Yes, I am glad you are moving out to the country because I have a feeling you will find a wake up call there regarding your inflated sense of self the minute you start yabbering at a tenth generation farmer about how to farm properly. Better get the rents ready for your obligatory return back home or figure out really fast how to alter that condescending prat posture before the natives hold back on the fish fertilizer and use you instead.

Dear anti hipster,

I don't care much for you either and think you're both different sides of the same coin.

Bye.