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gadgetgirl


Member

Posted Fri May 6th, 2011 12:14pm Post subject: Dear...

Dear Dad,

Stop posting embarrassing pictures of me on facebook!

love from your daughter

That would be me.

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Mandala


Inactive

Posted Wed May 11th, 2011 4:59am Post subject: Dear...

There was an article somewhere on how transparency online is selecting kids to code switch into metaphor and understand subtext. Does he understand what a party foul is yet?


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Nitro


Member

Posted Fri May 13th, 2011 2:51am Post subject: Dear...

Dear Judge and Judgettes Of the World,

Before you rail and huff and make snarky remarks about how that teenage girl over there is dressed, please stand in front of a mirror poste-haste and please study the next few points carefully:

If you're not old and overweight, you're young and overweight. Either way, you're both FAT.

The shorts you wear make your asses look even fatter and Mr.Judgemental, that dumb fishing cap you bought at the gas station doesn't exactly give you the look of a man capapable of deciding what anyone else might wear. Tend to thine own clothes and bloatedness first, please sir. Frankly, you're white socks and black sandals under your LL Bean shorts aren't exactly the flag of a man who has stuided fashion, so your attempts at castigating others for how they dress is perhaps something you should only be attempting after years of studying fashion, and you, Sir, clearly do not.

Also, the tendency of you both to remark with such intense vitriole on the clothing of others is exactly why no one comes to your parties.

You would be better served to learn proper manners and why having them is so important.

Signed,
R.S.V.P
No, I won't be coming to your party either

Really? Wow.

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joan


Member

Posted Fri May 13th, 2011 5:33am Post subject: Dear...

Dear Pope,
Stop it, just stop it. Stop demonising contraception at the same time as demonising abortion. Do you know what that means to women who obey you? 35 years of pregnancy and birth and 50 years of child rearing. Do you know how much all that hurts? How it wears you out? Course not - you're a man. Luckily for the world 99% of catholic women ignore your daft pontifications, which makes everything you say irrelevant.
So just stop it.
Oh, and sacking our local Bishop, The Bishop of Toowoomba, just because he asked questions is disgusting. I happen to know him and he is a good man - nobody would call HIM god's rottweiler.
Grrrrrrr
A former catholic.


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gadgetgirl


Member

Posted Tue May 17th, 2011 5:50pm Post subject: Dear...

Dear Self,

Stop being a lily-livered wuss and stand up for what you believe in!

Your overwrought conscience.

That would be me.

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TripsOverHisCats


Member

Posted Tue May 17th, 2011 6:47pm Post subject: Dear...

Dear Mother,

while I do understand the occassional slip of tongue on pronouns and names - after all, what I am called is not what you called me all those years ago -, introducing me as your daughter, stubbornly and uncontritely, is not okay. For Pete's sake, stop it.

Love,
Your Son

If, with the literate, I am
Impelled to try an epigram,
I never seek to take the credit;
We all assume that Oscar said it.
* Dorothy Parker

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Nitro


Member

Posted Wed May 18th, 2011 1:47pm Post subject: Dear...

Really? Wow.

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TobiasMonk


Moderator

Posted Wed May 18th, 2011 3:45pm Post subject: Dear...

Ditto the

Dear Monsieur Pamplemousse (ginormous tan cat)-

Every morning you focus your gaze on me while I eat breakfast, a practice I can only attribute to bad manners. Your death stare may work on mice and other critters, but it isn't menacing enough to make me drop anything onto the floor for you to pounce on and gobble up. In future if you want my begneit you need to bring it, brother.

ps-Stop makin' eyes at my wife.

Signed,
Quit It, Or I'll Let The Macaw Out

I cannot be awake for nothing looks to me as it did before, Or else I am awake for the first time, and all before has been a mean sleep.
Walt Whitman

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gadgetgirl


Member

Posted Sun May 22nd, 2011 8:59am Post subject: Dear...

Dear Tobias,

Monsieur Pamplemousse is one of the best names I have ever heard for a cat,

In admiration, GG

Dear TripsOverHisCats,

Have you considered calling her Dad?

In sympathy, GG

That would be me.

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BipolarBlues


Member

Posted Sun May 22nd, 2011 9:49pm Post subject: Dear...

I'm having more trouble creating my Profile than Michelangelo had painting the Sistine Chapel and all I'm trying to do is download a picture.......

Touched With Fire

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Nitro


Member

Posted Mon May 23rd, 2011 8:37pm Post subject: Dear...

Did you get any help with that BB???

Really? Wow.

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Nitro


Member

Posted Mon May 23rd, 2011 8:45pm Post subject: Dear...

Oops, forgot...

Dear Self-Loathing Self, Ch 4, pg 32, p6.a.v5,

I really appreciate your attentions, but lately you're trying my patience. I find you argumentative and frankly, a real party killer. Not to mention any time I find the missing sock, you promptly remind me that had I simply been a little more obsessive in the first place, it wouldn't have gone missing. Also, you make think in 'lists' although not as organized as I'd like. And that last part may be your opinion too. I'm not sure yet.

Anyway, any time Kind Self suggests you and I take a vacation from each other, you instantly come back with the idea that maybe I'm just a self-pitying wuss who needs to 'just get over it, or whatever'. While Humble Self and Arrogant Self are duking it out in the tiki bar downstairs and I lack their input, I do feel slightly confident enough to think I can detect you influencing nearly every aspect of my thoughts today.

So I would like to very kindly and patiently ask you to Fuck Off with all the vigor you can put it into that, 'k? 'K. Thank you!

With reasonable affection,
Angsty Self

Really? Wow.

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BipolarBlues


Member

Posted Mon May 23rd, 2011 9:11pm Post subject: Dear...

I appear to have cracked it,goodness knows I may have brain after all.
Thanks Nitro! I no longer need to rant.....for the time being!!

Touched With Fire

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Nitro


Member

Posted Wed May 25th, 2011 12:59pm Post subject: Dear...

Dear God,

First of all, I was never 'stalking' you. Accusing me of that sure must blow your sails up, huh?

I think you're pyscho. You ask me to talk to you and then when I do you give me the silent treatment for no explicable reason. You offer no explanation or reason for that, as if I have no feelings whatsoever and should just carry on in spite of your incalcuably cold indifference.

Is that supposed to play out as 'mysterious' or something? It doesn't. It plays out as proving what a lot of people are saying about you now. Or have been.

That you're just an elitist snob trying to dress himself up as a 'man of the people' long enough to get their attention so you can snub them again or in some other way prove your superior status.

You've ignored a lot. You've ignored me. So do us all a favor when your day comes, and it will come, when YOU turn to US and find nothing but One, Long Silence in response. No, we WON'T answer you. No, we WON'T give you a reason why. You'll simmer, you'll roil, you'll act desperate, you'll rot, you'll go insane because you'll realize you believe in us wether you're sane or insane.

That's right Buster. That's right. Stick that in your self-satisfied pipe and smoke it. When you run out of that, don't worry...we'll be here for more Silent Stuff.

We are, after all, made in Your image.

Your friend,
Phil Finkleroth

Really? Wow.

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Mandala


Inactive

Posted Thu May 26th, 2011 7:20am Post subject: Dear...

Dear Phil,

I have been called many things.

As you project the terms of my consciousness, I reflect whatever you are prepared to see - or not as it were. There is no atonement, and you may of course repay me as you would repay yourself. Really you have no choice, a joke long forgotten in the retelling.

You may criticize the laziness of a seemingly capable perfect source following an arbitrary and constrictive set of restrictions on his own creations. Perhaps that is a reasonable source of your loneliness, not our separation, buy my apparent rejection. I can only say that I followed the example of my own creation to perfect detail.

I find your insinuation for stalking after me, a little hunter with your bow, the most amusing likeness you can possibly imagine, and it really is all about what you can imagine. It's true I saw the fruit grow bitter on your tongue, an unexpected consequence of attaining your own opinions, since before then you were certain I decided everything.

As far as we can tell, I am still perfect. Unfortunately this means my silence is the wall between what is out there, and what is in here. My very attentions were the cause of the unasked gifts from which my silence protects you. I loved Pandora as I loved Eve. I would not wish another payload of that magnitude in response to our meeting. That is my feeble excuse.

Something has changed irrevocably. I still wait patently for you to have something to say that proves once and for all you can protect yourself from what I have seen, but I doubt it. I can only hope that, for your sake, your own detachment begins to show before their payload devours you, perhaps and sadly as it was intended. For now, when you chose to project me, you chose only to listen, and thus so do I.

Sincerely,
Your Silence


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