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BETHMEREDITH


Member

Posted Fri Dec 30th, 2011 8:45pm Post subject: depression

i want to vent , i want to scream i want to cry, it seems like its all the time, i dont want to leave my home , it has been great for 2 weeks as i havent had to go up the school to take my kids , i loathe taking them to school i look at the parents and want to scream, i just want to run away and hide but i cant , i have thoughts which scare the shit out of me i feel trapped i feel like everyday is a job i hate having to go to, i have bben to my doctors and explained this but as i have a thyroid condition it is always down to that , i know diffrent it wasnt till i had my second child the thyroid condition started it was due to the pregnancy i have been like this since i was a child myself ,i had nervous breakdown in my teens and i have suffered with severe mood swings up and down since then ,i dont often talk about this but of late it seems the downs out weigh the ups ,i look at my children and i feel guilty for the way i feel ,i am blessed with 3 healthy intelligent kids and i am unhappy why?????????, i seem to push people away i know i do it but i cant help it , i have no friends i can go days without talking to people, i have had 2 relationships in my 32 years and they both have left, so why make friends they just leave anyways,god self pity much self loathing definitly , im sitting here wirtingbthis crap in hope it will help me feel better venting and all that, its funny im sitting here and my stomachs going over like being on a rollercoaster adreniline racing, i just wish i could make it stop.


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narcissus


Member

Posted Sat Dec 31st, 2011 12:35am Post subject: depression

I was desperately sorry to read that you are so incredibly lonely, and that making friends would amount to nothing but disappointment and possibly despondency. I do understand the loneliness of which you have written and the fear of getting close to someone…anyone. Through my job I have encountered the same and regrettable, more. Your 3 children must be a great comfort and I have no doubts they are your strength and will drag you through this, screaming and kicking all the way.
Not all are horrid, not all will leave you and not all have a hidden schedule. Be brave and take a huge step, it may help, I sincerely hope it dose.

Oscar Wilde saved me.

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BETHMEREDITH


Member

Posted Sat Dec 31st, 2011 2:28am Post subject: depression

narcissus <a thankyou narcissus,i find this time of year really hard my ex partner, my kids dad left me on new year eve a few years ago now , and even though i am over him it still hurts, i was with him from when i was 16, its just hard is all, its the what ifs that eat away, what if things had been different, i don't know... but i will get over it at the end of the day somethings gotta give right.

Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out
anton chekhov
href="http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/topic/depression-3#post-279935">said:
I was desperately sorry to read that you are so incredibly lonely, and that making friends would amount to nothing but disappointment and possibly despondency. I do understand the loneliness of which you have written and the fear of getting close to someone…anyone. Through my job I have encountered the same and regrettable, more. Your 3 children must be a great comfort and I have no doubts they are your strength and will drag you through this, screaming and kicking all the way.
Not all are horrid, not all will leave you and not all have a hidden schedule. Be brave and take a huge step, it may help, I sincerely hope it dose.


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Nitro


Member

Posted Sat Jan 7th, 2012 8:47pm Post subject: depression

I've known lots of idiots who couldn't face a real crisis if, or even when, their lives depend on it. So smarter people wind up picking up the slack for them. These smarter people are caleld 'heros' and wars are full of them.

They're also often police and firemen and ER doctors and nurses.

And parents of inexperienced children.

If your thyroid might contribute to your stress, is there something the doctor has or might recommend? Or maybe you need a second opinion?

You have as much right to a quality of life as anyone else does. And that doesn't mean you have to be friends with the other parents or anyone you don't think you'd like either. Some people really are content not to be social butterflies. Too much solitude/socializing can result in not enough personal objectivity though, so I could only recommend you talk to your doctor.

Really? Wow.

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BETHMEREDITH


Member

Posted Thu Jan 12th, 2012 1:41pm Post subject: depression

ok after many years i have gone to the doctors and have been told i have severe clinical depression ,i have been prescribed citalopram and as with everything thing in my life i over analyze it.and am now petrified to take it the side effects are endless ,and with a lot of reports by other users of this medication it makes it worse before better i do not believe i could manage that physically or mentally .......all i want is to be me again.

any idiot can face a crisis, its day to day living that wears you out...anton chkhov


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BeenThere


Member

Posted Thu Jan 12th, 2012 10:11pm Post subject: depression

I read with interest all that are suffering, and I can feel the pain.
I tried some medication for a short period but it was terrible.
I watched Stephen Fry's show some years ago on depression/mental health and there was one person in the group that beat it with diet/nutrition. I did too. But I did it years ago;years before I saw this programme. My solution was simple.Eat unprocessed food only. Its not simple really, it is very difficult to do, because it is like a drug .....for some reason, one keeps being drawn to processed food.I know this is not going to cure all, but, I cannot believe I am the only one. Its the chemicals in the processing, like artificial anti-oxidants, msg, colouring, etc. Research this on the internet. There are many articles on it, now.Do it(nutrition) under supervision and if this is your problem then, like me, you will notice a difference in two weeks.But dont give up.No alcohol, coffee,tea, milk , yoghurt, cheese,bread,packet food, tinned food,jar/bottled food........when you work out what additives are doing it and your tolerance level, then add in a little processed food here and there. Its too complicated to go into detail, but the simple answer is unprocessed food.(was for me).
Only hope I can save one person from misery (and no medication), but I am sure there must be more.


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Nitro


Member

Posted Tue Jan 24th, 2012 2:15am Post subject: depression

Being drawn to processed food - Oy vey! I have NEVER gotten away from that myself LOL And I eat what some might consider a pretty healthy diet. That you've abandoned such items altogether is extremely admirable I think. I've often conjectured that once you eat a potato chip, it's all over. It's just a downhill slide from there but damn sometimes they're good.

But you know what? The idea of avoiding processed foods altogether is something that may have much larger implications physiologically than is known even now. For example, one of the fastest growing diseases, Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, has been on the rise over the last few decades. This disease strikes across all age groups from 10 - 80 years old, all genders...erm, I mean, both genders...and all ethnicities. I wonder if there's an environmental factor to that.

Beth, when it comes to medications that impact brain chemistry, it's kind of a black art for doctors. No pill works the same for every individual and sometimes you outgrow a medication. Which I'm sure is very frustrating. So they have to work pretty hard at dialing in a Rx suitable for you and they'll try to get you as close to the fewest side affects as possible, but you cannot avoid all of them across the board. It's kind of a "Every Pleasure has its Price" situation. Have you tried keeping a brief daily log on the impacts of this medicine? That can help your doctor and that's the point of it. They need all the details so they can adjust types and doseage. Meanwhile, the patient really has to hang in there until you get as close as you can to whatever YOUR normal is. But it's def going to take your participation in your life, as hard as it may feel right now, to get there. You could try starting with simple questions for yourself: Is there any aspect of my mood I feel is improved compared to before Drug 'x'? Also, I hope you won't be offended but you seem to be suffering a lot of anxiety which is maybe(?) intensified by the medication? Does your doctor know or have you realized anything like that? I think anxiety can be really awful to endure if it's too long lasting and fatiguing which, listen..I'm not a doctor but just puzzling around...could then intensify depression and impact motivation, you know? So, maybe you need an anxiety *specific* Rx to help ( they're two seperate families of drugs btw ).

I do think, fwiw, that wether you're on meds or not that you eat healthy foods as often as possible and stay hydrated. I would really encourage you to get back with your doctor and let them know you're not feeling well. I hope you will start to feel better soon

Really? Wow.

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joan


Member

Posted Tue Jan 24th, 2012 3:16am Post subject: depression

I'm OK now, but once was clinically depressed after having a stillborn baby in NZ. That country was going through a racist patch, and one radio DJ was demonising us 'poms' at every opportunity, so that made it worse. The Doc gave me a form of valium, but I hated it and stopped after three days.

We decided to try an ancient method. The Ancient Romans believed that a healthy mind and a healthy body went together, so we went on a healthy eating and excercise regime. It worked after a couple of months.

(Then we started working towards leaving the place! We've never been back. That DJ is dead now, I read his obit last year. I do hope RF Delderfield is right, and God IS and Englishman!!)

I should point out that NZ is very beautiful and we made some lovely friends.


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Nitro


Member

Posted Tue Feb 21st, 2012 7:36am Post subject: depression

what's a 'pom'?

Really? Wow.

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joan


Member

Posted Tue Feb 21st, 2012 10:19am Post subject: depression

Oh, if only I didn't know! It is the Australian and NZ word for an English immigrant, rather like the American word Limey. They say it means 'Prisoner of Mother England', Australia having started off as a penal colon, but I happen to believe it stands for 'Perfection of Mankind'.


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Nitro


Member

Posted Thu Mar 8th, 2012 4:45am Post subject: depression

So you're saying that if an English person moves to Austrailia you would refer to this person as a 'pom'? Or, are they a Pom just for being English.

Hmmm...am starting to think your language is as difficult as ours

Really? Wow.

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LadyGirlPerson


Member

Posted Fri Mar 9th, 2012 10:01pm Post subject: depression

Depression is... dangerous.


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joan


Member

Posted Fri Mar 9th, 2012 11:47pm Post subject: depression

Nitro said:
So you're saying that if an English person moves to Austrailia you would refer to this person as a 'pom'? Or, are they a Pom just for being English.

Hmmm...am starting to think your language is as difficult as ours

Pom refers to a British person in Australia or NZ. It is a racist term, but the locals won't agree that it is.

Bethmeredith gets upset when taking her kids to school. I can relate to that because I always felt like an outsider among the other Mums. I have no time for telly soapies and sport, both of which were always the subjects du jour. So I simply dropped off my kids and walked away. Eventually I went back to work and the day care lady took them to school. End of problem.

I'm back into the depths of depression again myself, and the causes are things in my life that I can't do anything about. Working in my garden helps, but it is a bugger when the highlight of the week is planting cauliflowers and silver beet.


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Nitro


Member

Posted Sat Mar 17th, 2012 7:03pm Post subject: depression

Joan, I'm sorry to hear you are not feeling well and I hope the dark clouds pass very soon.

Really? Wow.

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joan


Member

Posted Sat Mar 17th, 2012 10:01pm Post subject: depression

Thanks, Nitro. Things are still bad, but I know from experience that things change in the end.


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