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Zakee


Member

Posted Sun Apr 29th, 2012 8:50pm Post subject: Depression leading to a cognitive abating.

Salutations to you all from Gloucestershire,

I'm a novice here, on these forums, but I just wanted to pose a question. I can indubitably comprehend that a vast proportion of people undergo pernicious bouts of depression and dysphoria, id est, bipolar, cyclothymia. Albeit, for me, whenever I'm glum or lugubrious I can't begin to fathom anything, it all seems to be an obfuscated blur. Right now, my mode of interacting with anyone is tenuous and generally when I converse with people in real life, my mind feels as it is elytra and is asphyxiating me. To my own misfortune, I have GCSE's and other examinations to do in a few weeks, and I have this inexorable solicitude and pangs that if I don't recuperate, then I will conspicuously jeopardise my life. I don't know, I can't begin to know. It's not that I envisage or assimilate GCSE's to be of any particular importance, God no; de facto, I abhor them and truly want to apostate from any such farcical exams. I've been experiencing this form of, well, even myself, I'm uncertain and doubtful as to whether it's depression or bipolar. I unequivocally have my times of incomparable and incorrigible euphoria and exhilaration, but when I'm dejected and crestfallen, I always aspire to just fall out of an adjacent multi-storey complex. The eccentric notion is though, that in life, when I'm walking across the road, I seem to do so in a nonchalant predisposition; I almost hanker for a vehicle to impinge me. My days generally consist of COD, or just somnolent and soporific volitions; I sleep and am profusely listless and lethargic. Arbitrarily I want to cry, but no-one hears your tears here. My family loves me, but I just ensconce myself and immure myself from the rest of the world. Emancipation would be archetype, but this current sentiments of me are maudlin and f*cking exacerbating. I don't want to be descried as whining, but I would just be inebriated by a posthaste and pragmatic response. I hope you can all understand, I'm 16, not that age is pertinent, but that it's a critical juncture for me. I've been told I'm somewhat dexterous and proficient, erudite and sagacious, but sometimes I question and inculcate myself with the notion that I'm stupid, and that we're all anthropoids; gibbons perched upon a telluric sphere just waning through the tribulations and harrowing of life. Maybe this should be translated into a novella, gah, I always palaver. I'll just end here - forgive the quip.

- Zakee.


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realitystops


Member

Posted Fri Jun 1st, 2012 6:35pm Post subject: Depression leading to a cognitive abating.

Do you speak in the same manner as you write?

Is you is
Or
Is you ain't

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LizzA


Member

Posted Tue Jun 5th, 2012 5:56am Post subject: Depression leading to a cognitive abating.

realitystops said:
Do you speak in the same manner as you write?

Hah, I know I don't, or I would type l-like th-this.

But, to Zakee: I enjoy extended diction, but yours is a bit difficult for me to read. Similar to text-speak. Why use a big word when a diminutive one will suffice, eh? Not that I'm suggesting anyone else feels the same; it could well just be me! But anyway; you do - from what you've posted - present symptoms of depression, perhaps even bipolar, and cognitive problems is a typical issue. That is one of the most frustrating things about depression for me. You, too? I guess it feels extra frustrating with your GCSEs (er, just finished now, right? How did it go?), even if you don't care for them. Have you spoken to anyone - besides us, of course - about how you're feeling?

And if you wrote all that without checking the thesaurus once, then calling yourself stupid is just silly! (kidding, but it was very grandiloquent of you :P)


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woceht


Member

Posted Mon Sep 10th, 2012 11:40pm Post subject: Depression leading to a cognitive abating.

I presume the question embedded somewhere in there would be about how to deal with the bouts of cognitive abating that ensue because of depression and what to do about your GCSEs. I wish I had the answers but I'll try to respond with my own personal struggles with the same problem. I've struggled with the same mental fog through most of my life, with moments of clarity sadly too few and far between. I've always managed to somehow scrape through before. In my experience to someone of your linguistic ability the GCSEs should be easy enough to get through even with the fog going full blast. Like you say they are just stupid exams. Somewhere along the line the tasks got more challenging and my abilities to deal with them despite the fog diminished. Perhaps the fog got worse. I'm going through a really low period right now, and am finally getting medical help. It's tenuous, but a step forward. Which is all I can manage right now. I know this isn't the panacea that you seek but there isn't one. Guess what? Life sucks and the road to recovery sucks. I'd recommend you get out there and get help before you lose the ability to do so. Is there a school counsellor you could talk to? I'm not sure about finding medical assistance when you're a minor but I've found samaritans.org to be a particular helpful resource.

Other than that I'd be happy to talk to you about your feelings, if you wish. I think we could both benefit. I identify with your feelings of existential angst, and of the people around you not being able to understand. I have been reading about psychoanalysis lately in my attempts to understand why I'm such a screwed up person. You seem like an intelligent person with whom I could discuss such things fruitfully. Also I wish to find someone who can understand these suicidal feelings and be able to talk about them rationally without pity or overreacting.


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