STEPHEN FRY

(I don't know whether 'Koari' and 'Maori' is right, they're just guesses, but it sounded something like that)


A time for anagrams





S: These are big ones aren’t they!
M: They are, these are what it’s all about – this is the Koari tree which is why it’s called the Koari forest of course, and it’s one of the special trees in this part of the North Island. It’s an extraordinary thing.
S: I see. What’s this extraordinary resin that they seem to be weeping?
M: Yeah, the gum. It’s actually been used by the Moari, originally the Maori to chew like chewing gum and so on and the Europeans then used it to make paint and varnish and what have you. What makes it really special as you can see is that it’s really straight and really tall and there are no branches in the lower part of the tree, they only come out at the top, and so there’s no knots, it’s fantastic for shipbuilding, you can make masts, make the hull and so on, so when the Europeans arrived they chopped a lot down specially to make ships.
S: And are they - I can’t tell from the top, are they – do they shed their leaves?
M: Um they’re conifers.
S: Oh! They’re conifers.
M: Yeah.
S: But they’re not dropping any cones at this time of year?
M: No. What’s lovely about this one is its bark.
S: Lovely mottled pattern.
M: Yeah, it sort of peels off and leaves these scars all the way up.
S: And this: this one is two, they’ve fused, one of them’s won the battle.
M: Two, yeah, one taller than another. They grow huge, I was reading once about one, they grow to four or five metres across, really big trees and very tall.
S: It’s one of those odd things about the English language that ‘conifer’ is an anagram of ‘fir cone’.
M: I think you’ve got too much time on your hands.
S: I think I’ve probably got less time on my hands than anyone I’ve ever met.
M: But yet you’ve got time to work that kind of thing out!
S: Well I’ve got the time now, if I see them come out – if I see the word ‘orchestra’ you might see the word ‘carthouse’ riding out of it.
M: And Carwardine?
S: Carwadine is ‘a nicer reward’ actually. You like that?
M: (laughs) That’s great.
S: A nicer reward.

Thank you, MP. I've been wanting to see something of these. That was good of you to take the time to post.

Pam

w00t! Stephen posted a link to watch the vids for non-ukers!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/mobile/tv/lcts/index.shtml

As I still don't have access even with the new link I will extend my gratitude to you. Ta!

As I still don't have access even with the new link I will extend my gratitude to you. Ta!

I'm glad people can watch the vids now :D. But as long as you can't, I'll post my transcripts and caps.



Beware of Kakapo attacks









Well it looks like one of those remote weather stations doesn’t it? Where people crouch together for months and go slowly mad as they send balloons into the atmosphere and such things. But this is all devoted to the kakapo the main hut and the main room, I’ll show you the rest, follow me.

Is there any more forlorn sight in the world than slowly flapping pants? Well there is. Mark Cawardine asleep. This is where we have our bunk.

(Stephen mimes ‘ssh!’ and blows a kiss into Mark’s room (aww!))

Bless.
So let’s go to the loo. Ooh err! I said let’s go to the loo! I meant, let’s go to where the loo is.

This gate and fence here is for – well, the thing is, kakapos are nocturnal. ‘Kakapo’ is Maori for parrot of the night. And this is where the loo is – the only one – so if you’re caught short in the night and if you want to go up the last thing you want to do is accidentally tread on a kakapo or have a kakapo attack you – well not attack you, but you know they’re quite beaky things – this is the way to the loo.

(swings really small gate shut) That should stop us being disturbed!

It’s a loo with a view! It’s quite a sight out there, and I’m afraid it’s quite a sight down there too, it’s what they call a long drop, it’s quite a pit in there. What happens is you just throw in some wood shavings here after your message has been delivered. All very unpleasant but let’s face it we’re human beings, that’s what we do!




mp xxxx

ta again mp...you are a lifesaver.

How does Stephen make everything sound deliriously fun and exciting? A very crude loo to be sure, but with tour!guide Stephen leading the way, it seems like the Taj Mahal. And then there's the blowing a kiss to Mark. BLESS. The kakapo is proof that EVERY LIVING THING LOVES STEPHEN.