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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Posted Wed Sep 26th, 2007 1:22pm Post subject: Forgive and Forget? Forget It..
i wasn't sure what to say about your situation for a long time, shatzi.
until people started talking about religion. i was brought up in one religion, got curious about many, and now i don't really have one. i do think that all sorts of cultures have an idea of forgiveness, or some way to live without letting anger eat you up. for some reason i keep thinking about marcus aurelius, even though i don't know much about him, reading something by him really helped me out once. as far as the bible goes, i have been over that a lot in my life and i only think about jesus's life... and he totally wrecked a temple with his bare hands and a whip because he was so pissed. yet he also promoted love and forgiveness. (he died young and never got the chance to mellow out)
that was a random set of thoughts, but maybe it would be a good idea to read something or read about someone whose approach to anger and forgiveness you might like to teach to yourself.
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Posted Wed Sep 26th, 2007 2:02pm Post subject: Forgive and Forget? Forget It..
I will start reading this book soon. I think it encompasses slightly similar themes (coming to terms with trauma).
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shatzi
Member
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Posted Wed Sep 26th, 2007 4:54pm Post subject: Forgive and Forget? Forget It..
I wasn't really raised anything, my family didn't go to church. I went for awhile, became Catholic, but have lapsed I guess. I do have beliefs, I wouldn't say I'm a true athiest, I believe in an afterlife. I have burned up with hate before but not because I wanted to or anything. The thing that makes me mad is when I read books on self help that actually say to put yourself in the abuser's position, one book says that maybe they were doing the best they can or were in a bad situation. Huh? We were all raised in the same house. I never did anything like that, so it doesn't make sense. Some books are so saccharine you wonder if the writer knows what the experience is like. "So you were treated like dirt growing up and most of your life. Pity them, love them, forgive them and let go." It's not that easy. However thanks to the advice here, and hearing frmo others that I don't have to do that forgiving thing and writing letters and getting it out of my system I do feel better and have not had one disturbing dream. Maybe it's too early to tell, but it may have been what I needed. I think I was a tad bit reluctant to do it because of something whispering "It's family, you shouldn't be mean." The other night when I looked at them as just people, or jerks rather, it opened up a new perspective. Here I have suggested other people on the board be selfish and help themselves by putting themselves first for once and I have had to practice what I preached.
Wish we could get together. Can you imagine the range of laughing to arguing? After a meetup I imagine we would feel a range from exhausted to elevated.
I like hearing so many opinions.
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Posted Wed Sep 26th, 2007 5:00pm Post subject: Forgive and Forget? Forget It..
Wish we could get together. Can you imagine the range of laughing to arguing? After a meetup I imagine we would feel a range from exhausted to elevated.
I like hearing so many opinions.
Ever dropped by this thread?
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holdthenewsreadersnose
Member
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Posted Wed Sep 26th, 2007 5:08pm Post subject: Forgive and Forget? Forget It..
There but for the grace of God...Or as Christopher Hitchins said in "God is not great", "There by the grace of God goes some other bugger."
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shatzi
Member
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Posted Thu Sep 27th, 2007 5:57am Post subject: Forgive and Forget? Forget It..
Yes I've been on the meet up thread, but I'm here in the US. I will be in London in December though!
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