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trouser material


Member

Posted Fri Mar 30th, 2007 7:55pm Post subject: Fresh start?
Does anyone ever feel like they just wanna leave your home, your work, everything, emigrate or fuck off far away with noone you know to somewhere you've never been where you can just clear your head of everyone and everything around you that has to be dealt with routinely and without even being given a thought? Does this make me a hippy? or just a bit manic? Or neither?

cheers.

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JVONEARTH


Member

Posted Fri Mar 30th, 2007 8:08pm Post subject: Fresh start?
Have you ever heard the joke of someone going out for a newspaper and a year later they come back?
I went out to a country pub near to where i live in july 1994 and came back November 1995 my head was empty of thoughts i visited people all over the country i was searching for the ideal life i suppose i wanted to leave all the crap behind and be a new me no baggage no history just .....i don't know what
i didn't know where i wanted to be and for what reason was i trying to escape look for something i thought was lost who knows.
I don't think anyone is strange for wanting a fresh start but my friends if you feel something is missing in your life don't rush off because the soloution or the help you may need is not as far away as you think!

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meekychuppet


Member

Posted Fri Mar 30th, 2007 8:08pm Post subject: Fresh start?
Quite often.

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trouser material


Member

Posted Fri Mar 30th, 2007 8:12pm Post subject: Fresh start?
Have you ever heard the joke of someone going out for a newspaper and a year later they come back?
I went out to a country pub near to where i live in july 1994 and came back November 1995 my head was empty of thoughts i visited people all over the country i was searching for the ideal life i suppose i wanted to leave all the crap behind and be a new me no baggage no history just .....i don't know what
i didn't know where i wanted to be and for what reason was i trying to escape look for something i thought was lost who knows.
I don't think anyone is strange for wanting a fresh start but my friends if you feel something is missing in your life don't rush off because the soloution or the help you may need is not as far away as you think!

I'm sure it isn't. Aside from the fact i think everyone has pipe dreams of running away to a far and distant land occasionally, i don't really want to run away from anything or anyone, i'm in a very good place these days. However, i'm extremely inconsistent. X-D :'( X-D

See?

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Aoibheann


Member

Posted Fri Mar 30th, 2007 8:15pm Post subject: Fresh start?
Have you ever heard the joke of someone going out for a newspaper and a year later they come back?
I went out to a country pub near to where i live in july 1994 and came back November 1995 my head was empty of thoughts i visited people all over the country i was searching for the ideal life i suppose i wanted to leave all the crap behind and be a new me no baggage no history just .....i don't know what
i didn't know where i wanted to be and for what reason was i trying to escape look for something i thought was lost who knows.
I don't think anyone is strange for wanting a fresh start but my friends if you feel something is missing in your life don't rush off because the soloution or the help you may need is not as far away as you think!

I'm sure it isn't. Aside from the fact i think everyone has pipe dreams of running away to a far and distant land occasionally, i don't really want to run away from anything or anyone, i'm in a very good place these days. However, i'm extremely inconsistent. X-D :'( X-D

See?


who isnt?

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JVONEARTH


Member

Posted Fri Mar 30th, 2007 8:15pm Post subject: Fresh start?
X-D Sorry read it wrong

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trouser material


Member

Posted Fri Mar 30th, 2007 8:19pm Post subject: Fresh start?
Have you ever heard the joke of someone going out for a newspaper and a year later they come back?
I went out to a country pub near to where i live in july 1994 and came back November 1995 my head was empty of thoughts i visited people all over the country i was searching for the ideal life i suppose i wanted to leave all the crap behind and be a new me no baggage no history just .....i don't know what
i didn't know where i wanted to be and for what reason was i trying to escape look for something i thought was lost who knows.
I don't think anyone is strange for wanting a fresh start but my friends if you feel something is missing in your life don't rush off because the soloution or the help you may need is not as far away as you think!

I'm sure it isn't. Aside from the fact i think everyone has pipe dreams of running away to a far and distant land occasionally, i don't really want to run away from anything or anyone, i'm in a very good place these days. However, i'm extremely inconsistent. X-D :'( X-D

See?


who isnt?

Me.

See?

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Aoibheann


Member

Posted Fri Mar 30th, 2007 8:21pm Post subject: Fresh start?
X-D very funny...........

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Nothing


Member

Posted Fri Mar 30th, 2007 8:44pm Post subject: Fresh start?
The things that keep me where I am are my kids and my partner. Don't get me wrong, I've walked out of the house in the pissing hard rain and sat behind small wall just inside a cemetery before and spent hours just getting soaked through and not even felt the rain or the time passing by. Sometimes the energy that forces its way to my extremities and urges me to scream and jump off a cliff (haven't done that yet btw) is so much to bear that the cruel driving rain, coupled with icy winds is just the ticket to neutralize my madness!

I worry sometimes that, if these things in my life are dragged away somehow, would that put me a position of total control over my fate? Would I then, at those times...when I could gladly disappear into nowhere, just find the easiest way out of all this?

I must be half-way sane if I know that I shouldn't leave because people need me. The question is...if the things that keep me here, and half-way sane, go away...will I let go of my grip on the reasons why I'm here on this earth and just let the next urge to lay down and dissolve into nothingness wash over me and drag me under?

Hmm...'tis a tricky one...

I know my triggers and avoid them at all costs,
but sometimes the gun just goes off in my face!

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Nothing


Member

Posted Fri Mar 30th, 2007 8:54pm Post subject: Fresh start?
In direct response to your question....YES...I feel like I could walk out of the door and down the road and across fields and up and down hills and never stop until I fall off the world. So much energy seems pent up sometimes. Briskly walking to the end of the town where I live and then realizing that I'm being totally unrealistic is a very common occurrence in my life. However, the almost noose-type feeling that drags me back home is often very stifling. Also, and more importantly, the gut feeling that my kids are not to blame for any of my problems and, therefore, shouldn't be punished by me fecking off to gawd knows where, helps a lot.

I'm stuck here for the duration but, thankfully, everybody around me is just fantastic. They accept each facet of my personality and, away from them, I truly would be lost forever!

I know my triggers and avoid them at all costs,
but sometimes the gun just goes off in my face!

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Wildean


Member

Posted Fri Mar 30th, 2007 9:04pm Post subject: Fresh start?
i do think that way sometimes. I've had moments where i wanted to walk away from my uni degree and leave it and all that goes with it behind. But those moments never last long beacuse I believe that I am where I'm suposed to be, doing what I'm supposed to be doing.

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ClareBear


Moderator

Posted Fri Mar 30th, 2007 9:19pm Post subject: Fresh start?
I get that feeling every so often...... I usually wind up buggering off to Zwolle for a few days.

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Betsie


Member

Posted Fri Mar 30th, 2007 11:46pm Post subject: Fresh start?
Cool topic. I felt that way a month ago when my boss was screaming at me for ordering oxygen while he was on vacation. I almost walked out. Can you imagine a veterinary clinic WITHOUT oxygen?!? Boh!

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Rivers


Member

Posted Sat Mar 31st, 2007 3:26am Post subject: Fresh start?
Cool topic. I felt that way a month ago when my boss was screaming at me for ordering oxygen while he was on vacation. I almost walked out. Can you imagine a veterinary clinic WITHOUT oxygen?!? Boh!

I can't really imagine anywhere without oxygen.

All those poor, asphyxiating guinea-pigs. So sad.

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Crazy_in_a_box


Member

Posted Sat Mar 31st, 2007 3:59am Post subject: Fresh start?
Trousers, thanks for a great topic!

Yes ive felt this on numerous occasions... On one occasion I followed it through and, purely down to where I am today and what brought me to here, it was the right thing to do. I was doing a diploma in something I realised I couldnt stand.... I thought my whole future was mapped out because of it, that Id wasted 2 years of my life. I woke up one morning and thought "I dont want to do this anymore..." 2 weeks later I pulled out of the course... a month before Id complete it.
Now I know you are probably thinking that was a stupid thing to do, that I couldnt have just held on for the month.... but I made the definative decision sub-consciously. My mind just decided I couldnt put up with it and It shut down. I literally couldnt do the course... I couldnt do much else either. I was like a zombie for about 2-3 months. I had to be reminded to get dressed, eat, wash... It was terrible. But as soon as I had actually left the course and had all the corespondance sorted, and people stopped talking to me about it trying to get me to return, Its like my mind turned back on and I was ok again. I did a complete U-turn in what I was going to do with my life.

Other times I simply wanted to leave the country, fly off somewhere and sort out my head. Then come back with a level thinking and start a new life at home.... Never happened. I didnt have the money to go anywhere...

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