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Gertrude Susanne


Member

Posted Sat Mar 31st, 2007 10:06am Post subject: Fresh start?
I made a fresh start about seven years ago - the best thing I could have ever done in my boring little life! I left behind a very well-remunerated job (we get paid 14 times a year even), a flat a few hundred meters away from the city centre, family and friends, and made a teenage dream come true, almost 20 years on. I found a good job here in the UK (before I left my hometown), have been promoted twice since then, have found new friends and am probably the happiest person in Bucks. And, more importantly, I now know who my real friends are back home (!) I can only recommend it to you: make a fresh start if you really feel that´s what you need to do. Hopefully, without hurting anyone in the process. And it is NEVER too late. But a bit of planning in advance is advisable if you want the whole undertaking to be a success story.

In a way I admire those who, like JVONEARTH, just go out and return years later. That takes a lot of courage. Or is it despair? Did it ever occur to you back then that others might be worrying themselves sick because you had disappeared and fear for your well-being? How did you survive during that time? Sorry, for raising these questions, but I just cannot begin to imagine what it is like. Consider them to be more of a rhetorical nature, but if you want to comment, please do... elucidate me..

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JVONEARTH


Member

Posted Sat Mar 31st, 2007 11:47pm Post subject: Fresh start?
Hello Gerti
i was at one time quite wealthy years of putting money away always earning good money.
You can have loads of people around you and still feel alone and that's how i felt nothing was right. I have this thing that i get where there is no emotion at all.....and i mean nothing. This in turn has made life difficult.
I know quite a lot of people all around the country so i was never short of places to stay. But i ended up in Cornwall for some time just outside Helston. And it is there i found the peace i needed.
Because of all the travel and seeing old friends i could now see who were trus friends. Where i wanted to be and what i wanted to do.
And that's it really i came back to let's say not a happy lot of people but apologies were made and life started again with just a few changes
And no i don't mind being asked things.

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Gertrude Susanne


Member

Posted Sun Apr 1st, 2007 7:57pm Post subject: Fresh start?
JVONEARTH, thank you so much for being so frank. Your answer to my questions exceeded my expectations by far. And it´s good to know that you have found the peace you needed to find and that you are happy now...

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amlee


Member

Posted Tue Apr 3rd, 2007 9:59pm Post subject: Fresh start?
A 'fresh start' would be nice but I'm sure I'd mess that one up too. I'm in 'escape mode' right now. I just want to run away but I don't really know where, and with my $30 I'd be lucky to get to the middle of the next state over. And I sure as hell don't want to be stuck in the middle of Indiana haha. I get like this when I'm bored and I get fidgety and I feel like there's nothing left to be done where I'm at... Bleeeeh. I don't want to stay here and I don't want to go home to my family but I don't know what else to do. It's gotten to the point I don't sleep at night. Erm, sorry, won't take over your topic with my weirdness and slightly different off-topic ... stuff. fresh start and escape ... little different. *shrug*

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Britannicus


Member

Posted Wed May 16th, 2007 8:46pm Post subject: Fresh start?
It's my dearest ambition to hike up into the mountains and live as a hermit.

"Your room...it's CLEAN!!!"
"I prayed to God...and...it happened...but...where's my million dollars and horse!? Damn it!"

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absolutely curtains


Member

Posted Wed May 16th, 2007 8:50pm Post subject: Fresh start?
Does anyone ever feel like they just wanna leave your home, your work, everything, emigrate or fuck off far away with noone you know to somewhere you've never been where you can just clear your head of everyone and everything around you that has to be dealt with routinely and without even being given a thought?

No! I'm the total opposite!

My life is so simple and easy now, and I'm happy being where I am and all my friends are around and everything's just cruising along fine...

Well it was, but quite a lot of my friends are buggering off to a different college.

I just wanted to go along in life with nothing changing, but that can't ever happen. I'll have to get used to moving on from stuff..

I'll probably feel different when I'm older though.

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AxmxZ


Moderator

Posted Wed May 16th, 2007 9:13pm Post subject: Fresh start?
Does anyone ever feel like they just wanna leave your home, your work, everything, emigrate or fuck off far away with noone you know to somewhere you've never been where you can just clear your head of everyone and everything around you that has to be dealt with routinely and without even being given a thought?

No! I'm the total opposite!

My life is so simple and easy now, and I'm happy being where I am and all my friends are around and everything's just cruising along fine...

Ditto. I never plan anything, things just sort of happen. And they tend to be oddly good things. Got into my first choice college, graduated with honors, met lots of interesting profs and students, found a best friend/soulmate, married a perfect dude who then got a very highly paid job, found a law firm job when i wanted it, found a writing job when i wanted it... it's all been suspiciously easy so far.

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boffinbabe12


Member

Posted Wed May 16th, 2007 9:21pm Post subject: Fresh start?
I have a plan for if I ever ran away... which is quite weird because I have no intention of running away because I have a terrific life... strange.

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absolutely curtains


Member

Posted Wed May 16th, 2007 9:21pm Post subject: Fresh start?
Well you've got substantially further in your life than I have - that is a bit strange! Suspicious indeed.

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boffinbabe12


Member

Posted Wed May 16th, 2007 9:22pm Post subject: Fresh start?
Well you've got substantially further in your life than I have - that is a bit strange! Suspicious indeed.
How have I got further in my life? I'm confused! Poor simpleton I am

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meekychuppet


Member

Posted Wed May 16th, 2007 9:26pm Post subject: Fresh start?
I started well until my undiagnosed cyclothymia became Bipolar type II as well. I imploded like Anakin Skywalker after descending in to depression then psychosis.

When my mother passed away I crawled from the wreckage of my sadness and grief to bloom again. I finally got the opportunity to go to university, a move which cost me dearly. I divorced and determined to become a writer and a great father. Some people don't make it straight away. We have shit to figure out first. Diagnosis gave me a reason and justification to be who I am and with that identity reinforced I took my chance and started again. Disaster and agony shapes us more than any pleasant stimulus, hance my signature which has been criticised by many:

At 4.48
when desperation visits
I shall hang myself
to the sound of my mother's breathing

The courage to start again came, for me, from not being afraid of my darkness. It has a name now and I am in good company. You want my advice? If you are serious then bet everything, bet big and chase your dream. The hardest thing in the world to do is to do what you want. You will never have as many opponents as you do when you do what YOU want but you will also be surprised at the support, both how much you get and where it comes from. The world doesn't notice much except passion. If you go after your dream then do it with all of your heart. The harder you work the luckier you are. Some people have it smooth, others have to work. If that's you then prepare and learn relentlessly, for knowledge is power.

My mum hung this on the wall in our house:

If you think you are beaten you are
If you think you dare not you don't
If you'd like to win but think you can't
it's almost certain you won't

Life's battles don't always go
to the stronger or faster man
But sooner or later the man who wins
is the man who thinks he can

I will finish the fucking game.

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absolutely curtains


Member

Posted Wed May 16th, 2007 9:57pm Post subject: Fresh start?
Well you've got substantially further in your life than I have - that is a bit strange! Suspicious indeed.
How have I got further in my life? I'm confused! Poor simpleton I am

Sorry, I was replying to the post before yours. I'm beating you in the race of life at the moment. X-D

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boffinbabe12


Member

Posted Wed May 16th, 2007 9:58pm Post subject: Fresh start?
I am hoping to catch up with you soon!

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absolutely curtains


Member

Posted Wed May 16th, 2007 10:03pm Post subject: Fresh start?
Re: Chuppet's post

Without wanting to sound like a total cliché AGAIN, I really respect that you've got through everything you've been through. I don't really know how to say it, but... I don't know.

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meekychuppet


Member

Posted Wed May 16th, 2007 10:06pm Post subject: Fresh start?
Re: Chuppet's post

Without wanting to sound like a total cliché AGAIN, I really respect that you've got through everything you've been through. I don't really know how to say it, but... I don't know.

A rigorous regime of exercise, self medicating and pissing the bed.

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