STEPHEN FRY

Fryphile said:

I shall never forgive this Levenson person for this outrageously big watermark. How dare he hide such beautiful eyes and such a lovely smile behind ... this.

It's time for another alledgedly exciting episode of Kingdom of Kikipipipipicuddlesupplebibblidoo!

Here's our devout hero praying piously to his Crotch God.

Oh, Crotch God, let me be less self-conscious about my knees, please.

Blast, it's not working.

I'll just sit like this. I'm sure it's perfectly normal on this planet.

OK, Crotch God, the knee prayer failed. At least let me hold my chin up high.

Oh NO, my chin! I forgot how much I hate it.

Don't look at my chin, Tony. It's repulsive.

I'll just go through life like this.

And this.

And maybe like this.

Haha, fooling these foolish eathlings is easy peasy.

Hmm, but my nose is crooked, isn't it? What am I going to do about that?

Become a genius, that's what.

Yay for Kingdom of Kikipipipipicuddlesupplebibblidoo, to save the day/week. .

And thank you for the Hay Festival pictures, Fryphile, he does look quite adorable.

Now poor Kingdom is self-conscious about his cheek.

It must be hidden from view at all costs.

Even if he has to spend exorbitant earth currency for the Deluxe Velcro-Lipped Cheek-Hiding She-Droid-Attachment.

You can take the Deluxe V-L C-H S-D-A anywhere. Like the beach.

Or close-ups on the beach.

And when you feel the mood is right (i.e. when you have crushing self doubts about the look of your cheek), just press the activation switch located on top of your own velcro shoes.

And your worries will be over.

Even works for guys in ugly shirts.

Disclaimer, droid may try to seduce you. If this happens just click the activation button.

And she'll want nothing to do with you.

Fryphile said:

Disclaimer, droid may try to seduce you. If this happens just click the activation button.

Ha Ha! Ooh, the fruits he'll never taste

Fryphile said:
Nothing matches the soothing comfort of knowing no one can see your left nipple "Neville" because Celie Imrie is smushed against him.

That's all very well for Neville - but what about Sheila??

True, ginj

Poor Kingdom. He's been bummed out about his appearance all week.

Hey, villianous Worm Rat of the Ninth Moon of the Sixth Quadrant of the Eleventh Sector of the 18th episode of Buck Rodgers in the 25th Century, why have I been so bummed out about my appearance all week?

Because you're on earth now. Earthlings are very vain creatures. They constantly alter their appearance through make-up, hair products, lotions, and even surgeries. All this is easily accomplished by the media's exploitation of the eathling's basic need to belong. They are very social creatures. However, this innate behavior has become warped to the point where fabricated beauty is more honored than being a kind, decent person. The beauty industry has its talons in their easily molded brains and convinces them to buy its products so they might look like those who the industry itself exalts. You've forgotten who you are, Kingdom. And why you're here. Honestly, I have, too. It's been so long since the last Kingdom of Kikipipipipicuddlesupplebibblidoo episode that I'm beginning to think it's being made up as it goes along.

But what do I know? I'm just a dog. Er, I mean a Worm Rat of the ... Wherever Place I'm From. Now throw the friggin stick. And don't forget that you're a gorgeous fun bundle.