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Fourth Feline


Member

Posted Fri Apr 6th, 2007 12:28pm Post subject: Hello! I'm a manic-depressive in Tokyo
Nadia wrote :

Hmm.. I wonder how many of us exhibit strange behaviour.. Not just
depression (despair, apathy), mania itself , but all these weird fears, compulsive thoughts,
delusional depersonalization etc.. Can mania or depression
exist without those "companions"? What kind of weirdness we have
in addition to intensive mood alternations.. Is every our "oddity"
connected with BP?.. oh well..[/quote]

Hi Nadia,

to ( hopefully ) answer the above question, my Consultant Psychiatrist assures me that the common thread between them all is an underlying anxiety state. Anxiety states themselves stem from clinical depression, so yes you are right.

Anxiety, ( resulting in things like compulsive thoughts/actions and feelings of de-personalisation) tend to almost disapear for me when not depressed. Unfortunately I have BP II in which depression is the majority state, so like you spend a lot of time dealing with these things.

However, let us remember that we still manage to get a fair amount of 'quality' from the other part of us. Let us remember to be grateful for the good times when we have them.

Take good care of yourself Nadia

Warm regards,

Derek. xxx

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Sana


Member

Posted Fri Apr 6th, 2007 1:00pm Post subject: Hello! I'm a manic-depressive in Tokyo
To all the lovely people on the forum,

It's nothing to do with manic-depression, but these are the poems from my second mini poetry book dedicated to my most favourite British musician. I'm sorry I have a very small vocabulary, but I hope all of you feel relaxed reading them.

Thank you,
Sana xxx


" memory "

the warmness of this season
the scent of this perfume
the silence of tonight
the darkness of this room

everything reminds me of you

you


" you ( in this world ) "

if i can see god
i'll thank him
because you were born
in this world

if i can see god
i'll thank him
because i can breathe with you
in this world

eternal is the sky above us

so i've decided
to stay in this world
because of you
because of you

( from " on a straight road " / copyright: Sana, 2007 printed in Japan )

PS: It's still eight in the evening, but I'm going to say night-night to all of you because I'm going to watch The Secret Life of the Manic Depressive again.

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Fourth Feline


Member

Posted Fri Apr 6th, 2007 1:04pm Post subject: Hello! I'm a manic-depressive in Tokyo
Lovely Sana, Lovely

D.

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Sana


Member

Posted Fri Apr 6th, 2007 7:11pm Post subject: Hello! I'm a manic-depressive in Tokyo
Thank you so much, Derek! X-D

Last year I was pretty much suicidal, but I really wanted to meet this British musician. So I kept saying to myself, " OK, you can kill yourself if you can meet him. But until then, just keep going. " And I did meet him three or four times, and I had a chance to talk with him a bit. I was so happy he recognised me straight away, gave me a gentle hug and said, " Hi Sana, did you enjoy the Manchester ( gig ) ? " He even looked at me and gave me his bottle of beer during another gig in London. After I came back from the UK, my urge to kill myself slowly disappeared. I still do feel depressed and have mild mood swings, but now I sort of think I can keep going anyway with or without manic-depression.

Now I'm going back to bed. I'm having a really strange life. I study from 1 a.m. to 2 a.m. , check my email box and say " NIght-night " to myself. It's a bit like one of those Monty Python's sketches: " Mr Ken Cleaner, a boxer, gets up at four in the morning. And he goes back to his bed, because it's still too early. " X-D

Take good care of yourself, everyone

Sana xxx

PS: Yesterday ( 6th ) was the birthday of one of my English friends. I emailed him saying, " Happy Birthday!! " and he seemed very delighted.

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