I think you're asking the 64 Trillion Dollar Question Here. (Adjusted for inflation and latest CPI figures - 13th Jun 2007), and that is "what is the meaning of life?"
I believe that work is simply a way to put the icing on the buns. But you need to give yourself time to eat them when your not at work (that's leisure time). I know too many people who have worked and worked in order to add sprinkles, only to turn around and find that the buns have disappeared, gone stale, or have been eaten by someone else.
As I mentioned before Jewel. Creativity is my own world, a world away from work, and I make it what I want it to be. It allows me to express and record, but more so, it gives me a reason to live.
you're so right about that question - one of those rethoricals... everybody gets to it at least once in their lives.
creating something helps, I know that myself - I've written some of my best poems while suffering hard times. But I also have written some great ones during my good times and that's a delight because I don't want to suffer just because to create great poems, so I'm glad I can do it also when I'm kinda happy.
but my real world to run away is literature. it always have been after my parents divorce when I was little. I love it when I can melt in the world described in a book. and I have a full control of it - I can stop reading whenever I want or return to the special moment in there as many times as I want to... that also suits while watching films or favourite series. although sometimes it seems that this fictional world dominates a bit in my mind and you definitely don't need that in relationships with other people. I actually can't hear anything if I'm reading really interesting book...I even sometimes respond, but later can't remember a thing. however, I'm trying now to change that naive point of view which I've developed while running away from real life.
but today I'm sitting with a glass of Merlot and some cheese and watching some favourite "bits" (and of course waiting till 10 pm - it's mr. Hugh's time here, in Lithuania, on "House M.D." )sometimes you really need a "restart". and that's ok.
the point is, i can see the sense in wanting to do a calmer job (like the hotel receptionist) sometimes that makes sense. is there anything similiar that means you could work during the day?
I understand that pretty well, Panda. I just don't seem to have any choice now, only to continue looking for another job. the unsatisfying job sooner or later will drive you crazy (one of the reasons my mom gained her depression is the wrong job). one of my dear friends once told me: "Can you imagine working there for years? if not, then you have to do something about that." and I agree with him. one can always adjust onself to an unsatisfying job, but it depends only when he/she couldn't stand it anymore.
and I know I'm not gonna work as a hotel receptionist (at least in Lithuania) - just the ugly money thing. I just don't know what kind of job I really want now. I wouldn't like to deceive my future employers if I suddenly decide that it's not what I want to do. I've kinda deceived my current employers though, that's why I'm so worried - stupid clear conscience
anyway, I hope you'll also achieve some kind of decision. My best wishes and thoughts with you and Pete - thank you so much for sharing.
"The game, Mrs. Hudson, is on!"