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Posted Thu Aug 30th, 2012 4:12pm Post subject: "How on Earth did I end up here?" (relating to events in June 2008)

I'm lying in my hospital bed, but no longer sleep like a log.

I've been here so long, 6 weeks now. The nightmares are getting too much to bear and I stifle a sob.

The staff are too busy to talk as apparently there is a patient kicking off.

I count the squares on the ceiling; I can't believe how bad I am feeling.

How on earth did I end up here? Patients all say I look "fine"; nurses tell me "it's ok, you'll be alright but it does take time".

The nightshift arrive. I can hear them chat chat chatting away. It's time for the evening roll call. They arrive at my bed and say "this is Arlene, she's getting better every day".

I force a smile; I feel so bad.

I miss my kids, they are at home with their Dad.

The nurses' voices trail off. I'm left here on my own with nothing but my thoughts for company. I feel so alone.

I cry into my pillow; eventually drift off to sleep in a very sad state indeed.

This place fills me with fear.

How on earth did I end up here?
Less happy days gone by.

"This is me - don't try and change it..."

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