|
K.C.
Member
|
Posted Fri Jan 29th, 2010 3:21pm Post subject: I am confuzzed.
Hey hey!
So... sorry to sort of spring this so soon after joining the forum, but you guys obviously know a hell of a lot more than me, and I'm at a bit of a loss so it's best to ask those who have experience of these things... I've just got back from seeing a councillor, and we had a bit of an argument (I was doing most of the arguing, I admit) over medication and stuff, and she made the comment that I should consider at least trying meds, 'cos I'm doing myself more harm than good and everything, and well, I've been hypomanic for a week now, and usually it kind of fades out after a while, but after the session I just feel really really angry, and I don't know what to do with myself. I still feel really happy and everything and although I'm struggling to concentrate I'm still getting stuff done, but I'm just starting to get really aggravated over nothing. People keep talking to me or calling me and I'm having to try really hard not to tell them get lost and leave me alone, and even when they're being nice it feels so fake and like they're just trying to keep me happy, it's making me want to scream and shout, and tell them, pardon the language, to f**ck off and leave me alone.
Sorry about the wall of text... I just don't get it... I've never had anything like this, it's always been so clear cut, either over the moon, depressed or just normal... I don't have much middle ground, but I've never felt so furious when things are going so well, you know?
|
|
katysara
Moderator
|
Posted Fri Jan 29th, 2010 4:09pm Post subject: I am confuzzed.
What you are describing is a mixed episode. Most people think you just go up or down, with normal in the middle. They are wrong, it is possible to have symptoms of mania and depression at the same time, and if they are serious enough, then it is called a mixed episode. Usually you have to be fully manic for the diagnosis to stand but it is becoming increasingly understood that lower degrees of mania can just as easily be mixed with depression (which can be mild - moderate - severe).
Anger (as part of dysphoric mania) is a very common response. Trust me on that one!
KSx
I am an administrator on this site.
"I'm safe, up high,
Nothing can touch me."
~ P!nk, Sober.
See my website: www.katysaraculling.com
|
|
K.C.
Member
|
Posted Fri Jan 29th, 2010 4:19pm Post subject: I am confuzzed.
Oh thank you so much KS! I've never had a mixed episode before, it feels really bizarre, and to be honest kind of scary... I don't get this pissed off even when I'm depressed 
I was just working on some artwork for a friend and it was so silly, she said it looked really good and was really impressed, and it felt like she was insulting me! I don't really know how to handle it... think I might cut myself off for a bit until I've cooled down!
|
|
katysara
Moderator
|
Posted Fri Jan 29th, 2010 8:43pm Post subject: I am confuzzed.
People here are used to mixed episodes... and dealing with them, so talk if you need to. It's the mixture of mania (called dysphoric mania) with your depression making you so ANGRY, though you come across as fairly calm in your writing. Maybe you should write more.
KSx
I am an administrator on this site.
"I'm safe, up high,
Nothing can touch me."
~ P!nk, Sober.
See my website: www.katysaraculling.com
|
|
K.C.
Member
|
Posted Fri Jan 29th, 2010 11:55pm Post subject: I am confuzzed.
I try to be controlled when I'm writing, I don't really know why, I think it's because I really hate being out of control and whenever I read stuff back to myself and it looks all untidy and full of mistakes I get irritated at myself for being sloppy and not trying hard enough, although that probably doesn't help so much when things are already getting on my nerves really badly. Just a force of habit I guess... I settle more for screaming at my computer when things go wrong, it feels so much better than just hitting capslock... I've not really tried writing as a way of venting when I feel bad, but you're most likely right, it would probably really help if I didn't double and triple check myself when I'm writing and already pissed off!
And having said all that I just double checked it to make sure it made sense and didn't look silly, ARGH. Thank you KS!
And now I've edited it because I could see spelling mistakes. /cry 
|
|
dawnyt67
Member
|
Posted Sat Jan 30th, 2010 9:37am Post subject: I am confuzzed.
buy a punch bah n kick its head in when u feel like this, works for me lol xx 
part time crazy lady but lovely with it x
|
|
judasishmael
Member
|
Posted Sat Feb 13th, 2010 12:52pm Post subject: I am confuzzed.
My shrink tried to give me meds, but I refused after having spent a week on Zoloft prescribed by another doctor. I was neither happy nor sad, but felt nothing, which was just as bad, if not worse, than the dead zones I experienced between my mania and depression. I think meds can be good if the person taking them truly feels they need them as stepping stone to getting better, but they are not, in my opinion, a good long-term solution as many people's manic depression is triggered by an event in their life that can, though it may take years, be sorted out with various non-medicinal therapies. And for those whose manic depression is the result of a physical chemical imbablance, meds may open the gate to recovery, but staying on the path, in my opinion, can be made simpler by learning how to manage the feelings without meds.
The "flaws" that move us to hurt move us also to share our pain with others, thereby making others feel less alone and, thereby, becoming a vital link in a chain reaction of, subtle though it may seem, healing.
|
|
katysara
Moderator
|
Posted Sun Feb 14th, 2010 8:31pm Post subject: I am confuzzed.
Couldn't disagree more!
KSx 
I am an administrator on this site.
"I'm safe, up high,
Nothing can touch me."
~ P!nk, Sober.
See my website: www.katysaraculling.com
|
|
katysara
Moderator
|
Posted Sun Feb 14th, 2010 8:45pm Post subject: I am confuzzed.
K.C. said:
Oh thank you so much KS! I've never had a mixed episode before, it feels really bizarre, and to be honest kind of scary... I don't get this pissed off even when I'm depressed
That mixed episode is serious - you need a med/meds, to talk to a professional in the real world. Mixed episodes carry a 20% suicide risk, the highest of any psychiatric disorder.
ksx
I am an administrator on this site.
"I'm safe, up high,
Nothing can touch me."
~ P!nk, Sober.
See my website: www.katysaraculling.com
|
|
pieri_21
Member
|
Posted Sat Feb 27th, 2010 6:54pm Post subject: I am confuzzed.
I think I have mixed episodes. In fact I think I either had or am having one still today. I'd been feeling a bit strange for the last couple of days : kind of tired/stressed/energetic but was still stable until this morning. I woke up when my boyfriend got up to go to work (8am) and couldn't get back to sleep despite feeling tired still. I stayed in bed doing nothing but stare at the ceiling for about an hour and then got up but couldn't be bothered to shower or change out of my pijamas. I had lots of things to do but didn't feel like doing anything at all, not even play my favourite games. I then cried on and off for about 3-4 hours. I searched online for info about being bipolar and decided to try to find a helpline to have someone to talk to because I felt so so upset, desperate, useless, etc. I found a number, turned off my ipod, picked up the phone... and then I suddenly stopped crying and felt stupid. I asked myself what I would say over the phone and found nothing to say. I then decided to go and have a shower and go shopping, but by the time shower and hair-drying was over, I didnt feel like going our anymore. I found myself looking for flights abroad!!!! Wanted to just up and leave my job just like that! Found flights too expensive to where I wanted to go (and then sensibly realised that my boyfriend would not only not be able to come, but would also stop me from going) so I dropped that idea. I then tidied the house and sat down to watch tv for a bit. Not been able to really concentrate on anything. Just left it in the background and searched more stuff online about how I'm feeling. then found this forum. Have been posting stuff for about an hour now! I feel a bit insane.
(was forgetting to say I am already on medication that has been working until his)
|
|
katysara
Moderator
|
Posted Sun Feb 28th, 2010 5:43pm Post subject: I am confuzzed.
The criteria for a mixed episode are to have full blown mania and depression for one week, and it not be down to drugs or a physical illness.
But of course we all pretty much accept that you can have manic/hypomanic symptoms and depressive symptoms and have them overlap... I think it will be interesting to see what the new DSM-V put when they revise the boxes they put people in..
I hope you start to feel better soon.
KSx
I am an administrator on this site.
"I'm safe, up high,
Nothing can touch me."
~ P!nk, Sober.
See my website: www.katysaraculling.com
|
