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Fiery_Phoenix


Member

Posted Wed May 16th, 2012 3:01am Post subject: I hate days like this.

My depression is flaring up today. It does not matter what I do, it has been plaguing me all day. I am sort of okay when I am around people, but in my head it is still there. I really wish it would just fuck off. I feel like crying for no reason whatsoever. I have been thinking about death a lot lately as well. Am I the only one who wants to watch violent movies when they are depressed? Maybe I am just crazy or something. I (finally) recently saw Stephen's documentary on Manic Depression, and, to my knowledge, I am not, but I am most certainly depressed, I know how he feels in that one segment when he is suffering from it on camera. I just want to go away. Be somewhere else. Be SOMEONE else. I almost cut myself today to try and gt rid of some of these feelings. I stopped myself. I am depressed every day, but some days are just worse than others. Sometimes I think death will be the only way to get rid of it. I hate my life. I hate myself. I'm a failure and useless. I do not even know why I bother getting out of bed anymore. What is the use? I know my life will end by suicide. Very little makes me happy anymore. And what is left is slowly losing its appeal. I do not know what to do anymore. Whatever, I'm finished being a whiny twat. I'm not asking for a pity party, this is the only place I feel I can vent without anyone judging me.


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joan


Member

Posted Wed May 16th, 2012 8:39am Post subject: I hate days like this.

I wish I could say something to help, Phoenix, but so many of us on here suffer from, or have suffered from depression that you can guarantee that you are surrounded by empathy and understanding, with zero judgmentalism.

I hope you find something to break the cycle and make life seem like worth living. My own solution was swimming. I know it sounds daft, but in the water I felt better, perhaps because the water is an alien environment: it is for creatures with gills not lungs.

Another solution was to watch favourite movies - even if I watched them all night.

I can give you lots of virtual hugs, and wish you a better feeling tomorrow.

Joan


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Fiery_Phoenix


Member

Posted Fri May 18th, 2012 12:54am Post subject: I hate days like this.

At least someone cares. Yesterday was okay. I slept most the day and then stayed up all night playing Angry Birds in Chrome. I really do have a pathetic life.


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Vinchy


Member

Posted Fri Jun 1st, 2012 10:10pm Post subject: I hate days like this.

Be SOMEONE else - strange....It seems to me, you only want to be youself.:) but your fear prevents it


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joan


Member

Posted Fri Aug 3rd, 2012 11:36pm Post subject: I hate days like this.

How are things now, Fiery_Phoenix? Hope you are feeling better.


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