Topic RSS | Reply to topic
Author Post

Nitro


Member

Posted Tue Feb 21st, 2012 7:32am Post subject: I hate you Insomnia!!

I have struggled with insomnia for a very long time now and currently back battling it again. I stopped battling the bastard as soon as I came across my salvation named Ambien or its generic cousin, Zolpidem Tartrate. Either one will do and both always farking win against this damnable state.

Once upon a time, Insomnia and I worked ok together. It seemed like a really good thing, a unique trick of my brain and we wandered around while others slept away. But it proved to be one helluva drag of a relationship when I figured out just how abusive it could be.

I can never stay awake long enough for Isomnia. I get no reward of sleepiness, drowsiness, or desire to enter that cool dimension of time we call 'dreams'. It doesn't matter how many hours or days I give, Insomnia wants more and more of my time.

Once I found ambien, I dropped Insomnia like a hot rock. I was so relieved to be rid of him. I could actually have normal hours. Waking up even before the crack of dawn versus going to bed at that hour, was delightful. In fact I haven't spoken with nor seen Insomnia for years. I hear he's still around, of course, doing what he always does. Dysfunctional prick.

But, I've had a bit of an interruption in the path from Ambien to me and isn't it just like Insomnia to show up with a knowing little grin and malicious look in his eye.

"Oh, you thought it was awful last time, huh?"
"Yes, I did. It's why I dumped you and moved on. By the way, Melatonin's sitting in my bedroom right now."
"Yeah, but he's not as good as Ambien for you and he's not as good as me at keeping you awake. Which, if you think about it, kind of makes Melatonin worse than me."

See how he is? How he inserts himself back into your life?

Yeah. Good ol' Insomnia...

I tell him outright that I hate him. He just goes to the fridge, pulls out a soda, plops down in a chair and says,"Yeah, but I'm here and Ambien's not. Least you could do is use me."
"Right. Use YOU. Sure.", I snicker back at him.

And then I plop down and realize he's right. He's here. Thankfully, he doesn't impact my dogs sleep life. He's dozing quite peacefully for both of us now.

I want to sleep too...

"Insomnia, I hate you. I really do."

Really? Wow.

Back to top

ArleneA


Member

Posted Thu Mar 22nd, 2012 7:36pm Post subject: I hate you Insomnia!!

I go through bouts of the dreaded enemy, who goes by the name of "Insomnia", oh my god there is nothing worse than being so unbelievably physically tired, and yet your brain refuses to shut down:(

I can now recognise when I am heading into the "danger zone" of another episode by the length of time the insomnia takes hold for. This is my big warning sign. At the height of my first major manic episode, I was up all night, every night and this continued night after night. Eventually something has to 'give' (my sanity in my case)....

I find now that I do seem to need less sleep to function semi normally. I do also seem to have a body alarm clock that goes off about 2/3 am and this is when you may discover I am posting on here!! I shall read carefully what I have written before I click on the fateful 'send post' button as I do not want banned from this website after only 2 days!! Surely that would be a record??

I love this website:) I love getting all my little thoughts out, it's brilliant!! Therapeutic in every sense of the word:)

"This is me - don't try and change it..."

Back to top

Nitro


Member

Posted Sat Mar 24th, 2012 6:08pm Post subject: I hate you Insomnia!!

I can't see you getting banned Arlene. You're new and it takes time to figure stuff out and everybody here has at one time or another tripped over their own words too, usually totally without any intent to do so.

I'm glad you've come to reasonable terms with your insomnia. I haven't and part of that is because I need to be a 'pre-dawn waker' sometimes wether I want to or not LOL I detest feeling sluggish due to a lack of sleep when I need to be alert. Two hours of sleep just wouldn't cut it. When I can get away with staying in bed later is about the only time I find insomnia 'useful'. One of my ways with dealing with these things is to imagine them as characters, which is why I write the way I do sometimes because then I can find it more amusing than irritating.

Really? Wow.

Back to top

ArleneA


Member

Posted Sat Mar 24th, 2012 8:49pm Post subject: I hate you Insomnia!!

Hello Nitro:) Oh no I would hate to be banned LOL; yet I have posted a couple of topics in 'inappropriate' sections so one shall need to be careful!

I think that is very clever to treat 'insomnia' as characters lol, maybe I should try that the next time it torments me, see how I get on:)

I hope you dont mind me asking but are you yourself a writer? I like reading what you have to say, it is very interesting the way you word it all:) You are obviously very intelligent.

"This is me - don't try and change it..."

Back to top

paolit


Member

Posted Sat Mar 24th, 2012 9:45pm Post subject: I hate you Insomnia!!

Hello to both Nitro and ArleneA. I'm brand spanking new to ClubFry (and, indeed, this website in general). I was trawling thru the various forums, trying to find a link that I fit into. Apparently we have a mutual friend/enemy; Insomnia. I smirked and smiled thru your tirade, Nitro. I also enjoyed your candid confession ArleneA.

If I can be so bold as to take up the 'personalization' of our mutual affliction...

Insomnia and I have had a love/hate relationship. How could I love him? Well, if you want to stay up late and watch movies, chat with friends, trawl the internet, or do any other nite time activities Insomnia can be your best bud. If you have no choice but to be awake might as well take some kind of advantage of him. It may seem cruel, but cruel is as cruel does.

I also have been dealing with it for so long that I have somehow managed to function for most of my life as an energetic and positive person. This is what I tell myself. I have no real proof.

However as I crack on into my forties with a full time job, 2 kids, a husband I actually might want to attempt to sever ties with our old matey I. Is Ambien the way to go?? Not sure-- but I'm hankering to try. I've gone for Calms Forte as a very mild, organic, attempt at sleep aids. Sadly Insomnia laughed at me-- said I was a hippy. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Anyway, that's my bitch about Insomnia. We're still hanging out-- purely out of habit, I suppose. Hopefully I haven't over-extended myself on this forum-- it's my first one.

Read. Watch. Write. Listen.

Back to top

Nitro


Member

Posted Wed Apr 25th, 2012 1:11pm Post subject: I hate you Insomnia!!

paolit, the obvious disclaimer is first that i'm not a doctor, no medical advice, etc etc

There are different Rx sleep aids now than there were even five years ago and they don't affect everyone the same. They all have side affects and impacts ( there's no free ride in medicine lol particularly with long term use of just about anything ). I use what I do because it's affordable and effective. That doesn't make it 'the best', do you know what I mean?

Some of it can be used to 'train' you into a normal sleep pattern then you stop taking it. And some people have insomnia as a symptom of some other condition and the insomnia will always return, regardless of 'training' until that other condition is absent. And for others it's more of a 50/50 situation where they only use it about 50% or less of the time. These ARE controlled substances and must not be taken lightly, casually, or in absence of a real problem and if there are minors or pets about, it's essential they can't get anywhere near it or there could be a real tragedy for them and for you.

Then there's Melatonin which can be bought at a vitamin shop and some people are pleased with its affects. For the serious sufferer of insomnia, melatonin is a sugar pill. But imho it's better to start safe and work from there.

There's no love lost between me and the I-man.

Really? Wow.

Back to top

joan


Member

Posted Fri Aug 3rd, 2012 11:45pm Post subject: I hate you Insomnia!!

There's another side to insomnia - the poor sod sleeping beside them who keeps getting woken up by the insomniac's twisting and turning! BUT, I've solved it: trained my brain to sleep on, by just willing myself back to sleep when I find myself coming awake.

Of course, this training was easy because when I was 7 my little sister was born and she carried on noisily all night for 2 years. I sson started sleeping through it.

I've tried to teach my insomniac husband these brain methods, but they don't work, so he just gets up and watches night telly or reads.


Back to top

gadgetgirl


Member

Posted Wed Sep 5th, 2012 3:10am Post subject: I hate you Insomnia!!

Insomnia a vile thing. A chance for my personal demons to get me by making me tired and vulnerable to attack. Oddly though I have never personified it in the way I have my depression. I hope I don't start.

That would be me.

Back to top