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fryfan20


Member

Posted Sat Aug 15th, 2009 10:23pm Post subject: I just don't get it...

why oh why do people have to be so, so, so mean, unfair and intolerant? one would almost think they where afraid but for what, I just don't get it.

okay to the point, it are my dear ( and I say dear just to try to stay nice) colleagues and they absolute idiotic (tried to stay nice and failed)view on gay people, mostly gay man, probably because those colleagues are all male. the constant so called joking around makes me sick. one even said openly that being gay is a disease and I think he meant it. I don't understand why they can't see it as something normal as I think it is, and what in heavens name is wrong with being gay, accounting to them? they "your gay" comments in a way that is meant as a insult are beyond me, it's not even a bit funny to me (it is to them)

I like to see myself as someone that respects once opinion even if they are not my own but now I can't help it but to get just furious and I have absolutely no respect for that kind of thinking. I was btw kinda hoping that that kind of thinking went out of stile decades ago. especially in the so called civilized part of the world. I thought maybe if I knew why they did this maybe I could understand it better and respect there point of view.

not sure why this gets to me so much but it does, it hurts and it makes me so angry every time again.

I am what I am

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joan


Member

Posted Sun Aug 16th, 2009 2:23am Post subject: I just don't get it...

Well, regarding irrational attitudes to gay people, religion is often behind it. As Steven Weinberg says:-

"Religion is an insult to human dignity. With or without it, you'd have good people doing good things and evil people doing bad things, but for good people to do bad things, it takes religion.”

Gay bashers (verbal or physical) who are not necessarily religious, are often gay or bi themselves but won't admit it, and lash out at braver souls who are open about their true selves.

I cannot understand people who use religion or out-moded prejudices to ignore the science that proves that a person's sexual orientation is in-built not chosen. A person should no more have to defend himself/ herself for being gay, than I should have to defend myself for being a shortish, brown-eyed woman.

And yes, I get mad about stupid prejudices too,


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fryfan20


Member

Posted Sun Aug 16th, 2009 10:13am Post subject: I just don't get it...

in my opinion religion is not a good reason to be unkind in any way. if there where a god and he indeed doesn't approve of gay people then he can as all powerful being, handle that himself just fine.

the logical question here is: does it get to me so much because I'm gay? in the past I would have said no but lately, I honestly don't know. I have wondered before when I was a teen but back then I was so worried of what others might think of me, I was already different from all the others and began to realise that, so being gay was not something I could take. not that I found it wrong in any way but because of the possibility that others might. (btw I've never been afraid of my parents reaction, I know they will be happy for me if I come home with a girl) but now I am quite willing to accept the possibility and if I happen to fall in love with a girl that would be fine with me. I'm still a bit afraid for what others think and my dear colleagues aren't helping.

I am what I am

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Nitro


Member

Posted Mon Aug 17th, 2009 6:22am Post subject: I just don't get it...

Um, 'falling in love' with a girl might sound romantic to you but what you should ask yourself in a quiet moment and really imagine the act of it; is wether or not you could have sex with a woman.

If the idea grosses you out or you quickly begin looking for nude pictures of Brad Pitt...you're probably not gay LOL

My lesbian friends say the thing that really irritates them and find troublesome are straight girls who decide they want to 'try it out', not realizing there's a truly gay woman on the other end with feelings too. It wastes their time and turns into an emotional roller coaster because the straight chick eventually has some sort of emotional melt down when realizing she was never gay but a 'tourist'. And the person who really IS gay, gets hurt.

In the end, only YOU can decide if you're homosexual or not. You either have those feelings that can translate into passion and lust, or you do not.

Really? Wow.

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gadgetgirl


Member

Posted Mon Aug 17th, 2009 8:16am Post subject: I just don't get it...

What - you are accusing fryfan20 of making it up to sound cool? I think you've misunderstood.

That would be me.

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gjhsu


Moderator

Posted Mon Aug 17th, 2009 2:35pm Post subject: I just don't get it...

Love and sex can be very much separate, as can passion and lust. You can be emotionally attached to someone (love), and not want to be physically involved (sex). That neither dilutes or enhances one's identity towards who or what they love, male or female.


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fryfan20


Member

Posted Mon Aug 17th, 2009 9:00pm Post subject: I just don't get it...

tbh at the moment I can't see myself in any kind of relationship for very other reasons, so I leave the gayquestion for what it is at the moment.

I am sure that I won't join in because it's hip, never joint in in my life and am pretty sure I'll never start.

I am what I am

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Nitro


Member

Posted Tue Aug 18th, 2009 6:05pm Post subject: I just don't get it...

Gadgetgeek and fryfan, my apologies. I think I did misunderstand your posts meaning.

Really? Wow.

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IdeaCollector


Member

Posted Tue Aug 18th, 2009 7:00pm Post subject: I just don't get it...

I absolutely love how part of this boiled down to religious rants. Joking and your gay references are pretty much consistent amongst a lot of straight males. Christian or not.

It's much like the use of the word retarded. There is nothing wrong with mental handicaps but people mock what they fear and a lot of straight guys fear homosexuals and the mentally handicapped.

So sorry that you are feeling hurt fryfan20...they are doing a campaign over here to try to illustrate that such joking and what not is hate speech but I just don't know what can be done outside of monitoring my own speech and telling people around me who joke like that, that I am very miffed.

*hugs*

I used to be EternalStudent on these forums until the switch over. So don't get excited..I'm not someone new and exciting. I'm just me :P

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Maxx England


Member

Posted Tue Aug 18th, 2009 8:14pm Post subject: I just don't get it...

I live in a society which has what can be politely termed a robust sense of humour, crude even, but I have not heard any specifically anti gay comments for many years; there are many coarse jokes, but in themselves they are not meant in any derogatory or oppressive sense. The people here accept that some men and women don't fit into a conventional box and just shrug their shoulders, feeling that what someone does behind closed doors(provided no laws are broken or people pushed into unacceptable territory)is their business.

The question is whether Fryfan's surroundings are good hearted but common as muck like mine, or actually are mentally chained to primitive religious concepts and attitudes.

We had Corona turn up some time back, an older man coming to terms with himself, and from memory, he had to deal with the same stuff. Wonder what he's have to say?

The only way is forward. Now where's the bar?

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fryfan20


Member

Posted Wed Aug 19th, 2009 10:38pm Post subject: I just don't get it...

Nitro said:
Gadgetgeek and fryfan, my apologies. I think I did misunderstand your posts meaning.

that's okay, it happens

I am what I am

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synelg


Member

Posted Thu Aug 20th, 2009 1:41am Post subject: I just don't get it...

When I hear anybody saying anything dopey about homosexuality, I usually say that I wonder why it bothers them as it's so natural. Being around animals all my life, homosexuality is pretty common. Ever seen a herd of bulls together? LOL. And I usually quote the results of a study on thousands of Mallard ducks which showed that around 9% of them were homosexual. Isn't that around what they estimate for humans too? Seems to me it's around that % for most animal populations. People are such dopes aren't they? Neuter them I reckon - so they can't breed and produce more people with dopey attitudes.


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Anonymous


Unregistered

Posted Fri Aug 21st, 2009 2:52am Post subject: I just don't get it...

IdeaCollector said:
I absolutely love how part of this boiled down to religious rants. Joking and your gay references are pretty much consistent amongst a lot of straight males. Christian or not.

It's much like the use of the word retarded. There is nothing wrong with mental handicaps but people mock what they fear and a lot of straight guys fear homosexuals and the mentally handicapped.

So sorry that you are feeling hurt fryfan20...they are doing a campaign over here to try to illustrate that such joking and what not is hate speech but I just don't know what can be done outside of monitoring my own speech and telling people around me who joke like that, that I am very miffed.

*hugs*

______

something about 'mentally handicapped' - isn't that 'learning disability' in this day and age - just a view


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IdeaCollector


Member

Posted Fri Aug 21st, 2009 3:22am Post subject: I just don't get it...

Not necessarily Dormouse...people are handicapped still. I'm physically handicapped or disabled...both are pc as far as i know and I took sensitivity training back when I worked for the University (mandatory after the local race riots)

I used to be EternalStudent on these forums until the switch over. So don't get excited..I'm not someone new and exciting. I'm just me :P

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Anonymous


Unregistered

Posted Fri Aug 21st, 2009 11:29am Post subject: I just don't get it...

i suppose it depends whether you see a learning disability or indeed a physical disability as a handicap - but i wouldn't presume that anyone did -m don't know what university but 'handicapped' is strictly non-de-rigeur in mental health in Britain


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