I do appologise for all the strange tweets I have tweeted. But this is pretty much the story of what happened..
OK so me and my family have never actually gotten along. It's gotten to the point where police have been called to my house sevral times. Yeah, that's been going on for years.
Well, I recently started going to a LGBT youth group which of course stirred rumors to my family of me being gay. With my family, EVERY SINGLE PERSON will do anything to get gossip on each other. I had three of my aunties trying to get me to admit to being a lesbian. Sigh. I am not a lesbian because what does the 'T' stand for in 'LGBT'? - TRANSGENDER! I am Trans*. I like men so that makes me gay 
Anywho, my family SAY they have nothing wrong with gay people, but it's the WAY they say it that makes me not believe a word that comes out of their mouths. I kinda kept all this to myself and just let them believe I was a 'butch' lesbian. I didn't really care.
Well, my sister has nothing wrong with gay people (She being bisexual) BUT when it comes to anything to do with drag/crossdressers/trans* she will do anything to wipe us off the face of the earth. I kept bringing up to my family (Well, Dad and sister since they were who I was staying with at the time) that I would be hanging out with some friends of mine who were gay or bisexual or trans*. They didn't care unless I mentioned my trans* friends and had to listen to a bloody speech about how disgusting these types of people are.
Because me and my sister fight a bit more than most siblings do (She's the kind of person that if she doesn't get her way, she's not afraid to turn things physical) She is also 2 years older than me and a lot bigger so I was very scared of her, I went to go live with Mom and her partner at her partners house (Well, actually because they just got this new puppy!) Since my Dad wouldn't do anything to stop the fights (Like, he would litterally just stand and watch my sister attack me!) I packed my stuff and left. On the journey to Moms I text him admitting to being trans* since I was upset and fucked off at him and knew he was already mad at the time so yeah.
OK well staying with Mom - That was a fucking nightmare! OK, there are some things you just DO NOT say to a child who has had to deal with shit throughout their lives. I stormed out of that house. She refuses to see any wrong in what she had done or said to me. And because I am the one getting upset, that makes me the one that's wrong. HUH?
At that point I had no where to go so I just went back home to Dad and my sister. I got nothing but rude comments from my Dad. I knew he didn't like me as a trans*. My sister had a go at me the night she got home. 'Do you realise that no one likes you in this house? Get the fuck out of here! Don't fucking come back until you are not insane anymore! No one loves you!' etc. I don't remember where I stayed that night, a mate from school's house I think.
The next day I had a group meeting with my LGBT friends. I explained to them what happened and they helped me find a house for a while. Everyone is so helpful in the Queer comunity, everyone looks out for each other. They found me a home with a lovely couple. Both hunband and wife are transgender too! Apparently at the same time as me, another trans* youth was kicked out of his house too. He's a really swwet guy, I hang out with him a lot, he's only a year older than me. We were both given some cash for food etc whilst we stay at other peoples houses. Well, since we are both not welcome home, our Queer peeps are helping us go on the Independent Youth Benefit which is the HARDEST benefit to get on :/
His case has already been put forward to WINZ (Work & Income NZ) and they denyed his case saying that 'There is NO breakdown in realtionship in the family' refusing to see that trans* issues are REAL. I have MY case in about a week time I think, I'm scared that they will deny me too. I have no home to go to and no extra money.
I had to go back to my home town because a production wanted me to help as backstage crew at the last minute. I took the oppitunity being in that town and went to my house to pick up some extra clothes for me, I knew when the house would be empty and I had a spare front door key. I opened the door to my room and saw most of my stuff destoryed. All my posters were ripped off the wall, books and Dvds were smashed. All my 'boy' clothes were ripped and in shreads. I dont have any binders with me either. (For those who don't know, binders are like compression singlets that help transmen hide their chesties and make them look flat chested - Like a guy). So now I had no money, no clean clothes and no stuff.
I am really scared that if my case is rejected, I will have nothing at all for damn knows how long. The couple I'm staying with are super lovely, but I doubt the can keep me much longer since they are letting me use their power and eat dinner with them.
I am even more scared about if my case is accepted. I will be living in a flat with more strangers. I mean, I HAVE lived by myself before, I stayed three weeks by myself in Moms old house while she went on holiday. But, I keep thinking I'm just not ready for that. I will have to start from living again from scratch. I'm 16 and I still feel like a kid. I don't have ANY ncea and dropped out of school last year at age 15. Bipolar is what made me leave school. I WANT an education, but I can't handle school. I usually go online and teach myself (Not JUST by watching episodes of QI!) but to other people, that's not good enough. They tell me I failed and just keep digging a bigger hole for myself and I'm starting to believe them.
I've already had to start buying house type stuff for the house I'm staying at, regardless if I get the benefit or not. Stuff like towels, cutlery, bed sheets - That kind of stuff.
I'm just getting more and more stressed everyday. Bipolar keeps twisting my thoughts around and it's just driving me nuts!
Ok, I think I've said enough. I can't think of anymore to write.
