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Fryphile


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Posted Thu Mar 29th, 2007 10:21pm Post subject: If i could i would
Somewhere, AxmxZ is laughing her ass off at y'all.

I think of myself as someone who is filled with love, whose only purpose in life was to achieve love. - Stephen Fry

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boffinbabe12


Member

Posted Thu Mar 29th, 2007 10:22pm Post subject: If i could i would

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Fryphile


Member *

Posted Thu Mar 29th, 2007 10:46pm Post subject: If i could i would
What happens next?

I'd pretend to have a cramp in both my arms and demand that he wash me. He'd remove his jacket and roll up his sleeves (or maybe he'd put on those protective black sleeve covers, haven't worked that one out yet). With washcloth in hand, he'd assiduously and tenderly wash my chest and stomach. I'd say something like, "Jeeves, you're awfully good at this," to which he would naturally reply, "I endeavor to give satisfaction, sir." Then I'd lose all sense of propriety and pull him into the tub on top of me.

"So do I," I'd say hotly into his ear.

You'll have to ask Mr. Rubber Ducky what happens next.

I think of myself as someone who is filled with love, whose only purpose in life was to achieve love. - Stephen Fry

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Nothing


Member

Posted Fri Mar 30th, 2007 3:44pm Post subject: If i could i would
I would like to be somebody who can keep their mouth shut. Someone who can just sit and listen without having to interrupt and talk over everybody. I would like to be the sort of person who can just sit back in their chair and not keep leaning forward and contributing to every single goddamcottonpickin subject that is raised. I would like to be able to relax. I would like to stop striving for eye contact with everybody that is present at a social gathering. I would like to be somebody really chilled. For the most part, I would like NOT to be the person who provides all the witty entertainment and attracts all the nutters at a party!

On the other hand, when I'm having a bit of 'down' time (and, by this, I mean a quiet and withdrawn episode), I would like to be the person who doesn't just sit there nodding and smiling with their mouth only and never their eyes. I would just love to be somebody whose life is going along with the flow of time itself...an existence unlittered with anxiety and trauma...no tragedies and no unforgettable idiots infecting my future as well as my past. I would just be so grateful to be able to have a life and not be the sole proprietor of a ridiculously out-of-control rollercoaster with, may I say, more outrageous uppity-ups than dangerously reflective darkity-downs.

What the hell am I going on about...I don't know...but it just comes out that way sometimes. I guess what I'm really saying here is that I'd like to experience...just for a bit...what it's like to be one of the 'normal' crowd. To just roll along in life, look forward and back without batting an eyelid.

I could say that, unfortunately, I am who I am and that can't be changed. However, I may not have had all the people who are in my life now if I wasn't who I am and I'm pretty lucky. The twatmeisters that couldn't cope with me, or wouldn't stick around when things were bleak and I didn't provide the comic relief they were used to, have gone. All that are left are the real anchors who have helped to stabilize me throughout this chaotic scribble of a life...and I'm more than appreciative I can tell you...and very loved by all who REALLY know are comfortable with the completely and utterly psychotic individuals that are ALL ME!

I know my triggers and avoid them at all costs,
but sometimes the gun just goes off in my face!

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Flossy


Member

Posted Fri Mar 30th, 2007 4:06pm Post subject: If i could i would
Well said!

We know who our real freinds are!

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trouser material


Member

Posted Fri Mar 30th, 2007 8:02pm Post subject: If i could i would
I would like to be somebody who can keep their mouth shut. Someone who can just sit and listen without having to interrupt and talk over everybody. I would like to be the sort of person who can just sit back in their chair and not keep leaning forward and contributing to every single goddamcottonpickin subject that is raised. I would like to be able to relax. I would like to stop striving for eye contact with everybody that is present at a social gathering. I would like to be somebody really chilled. For the most part, I would like NOT to be the person who provides all the witty entertainment and attracts all the nutters at a party!

On the other hand, when I'm having a bit of 'down' time (and, by this, I mean a quiet and withdrawn episode), I would like to be the person who doesn't just sit there nodding and smiling with their mouth only and never their eyes. I would just love to be somebody whose life is going along with the flow of time itself...an existence unlittered with anxiety and trauma...no tragedies and no unforgettable idiots infecting my future as well as my past. I would just be so grateful to be able to have a life and not be the sole proprietor of a ridiculously out-of-control rollercoaster with, may I say, more outrageous uppity-ups than dangerously reflective darkity-downs.

What the hell am I going on about...I don't know...but it just comes out that way sometimes. I guess what I'm really saying here is that I'd like to experience...just for a bit...what it's like to be one of the 'normal' crowd. To just roll along in life, look forward and back without batting an eyelid.

I could say that, unfortunately, I am who I am and that can't be changed. However, I may not have had all the people who are in my life now if I wasn't who I am and I'm pretty lucky. The twatmeisters that couldn't cope with me, or wouldn't stick around when things were bleak and I didn't provide the comic relief they were used to, have gone. All that are left are the real anchors who have helped to stabilize me throughout this chaotic scribble of a life...and I'm more than appreciative I can tell you...and very loved by all who REALLY know are comfortable with the completely and utterly psychotic individuals that are ALL ME!


Sounds as if you have to get something off your chest.

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Nothing


Member

Posted Fri Mar 30th, 2007 8:22pm Post subject: If i could i would
Actually, yes I would love to get loads off my chest but, for whatever reasons I don't know, my psychiatrist has left and gone elsewhere...don't know when another will be along...many phone calls later to arrange sessions with someone new, nothing happens. Oh well, never mind. At least I can post stuff here and, even if nobody reads it, I have thought it, typed it and got rid of it. Do you know...I even text myself sometimes...just so I can see my thoughts outside of my head instead of only being aware of them banging around inside it! Gawd! Sometimes I do things that are perfectly reasonable to me and, yet, don't make the slightest bit of sense. I am always arguing both corners and it gets somewhat arrrghghghghgh!!!!!!

Anyway - no matter...

I know my triggers and avoid them at all costs,
but sometimes the gun just goes off in my face!

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Flossy


Member

Posted Fri Mar 30th, 2007 11:45pm Post subject: If i could i would
Yep!

That's it!

Let it all out!

Writing is a good way of processing your thoughts!

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Fryed-And-Tested


Member

Posted Tue Apr 10th, 2007 5:01pm Post subject: If i could i would
As there were no specific rules as to who you could be (real, fictional, dead, alive, alternative etc etc) then Id be me without ever having my depression to see how different my life would be....

Me too. It's strange... I've made friends through it... sort of... so would I be friends with those people if I wasn't depressed?

Failing that, I'd be Hugh Laurie. Hugh was actually what I would have been called if I was a boy. But I'm not... so I'm not a Hugh.

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Will_Read


Member

Posted Tue Apr 10th, 2007 6:04pm Post subject: If i could i would
I'd be Martin from nextdoor. His garden is nicer than mine

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teenage_tragady


Member

Posted Wed Apr 11th, 2007 9:22pm Post subject: If i could i would
I like to be someone who didn't want to know how everything works, why things are the way they are, who that person is, why that makes a sound but that dosen't, basically I'd like to be happy just as I am and not need to fill my life finding out completly random stuff that no one really cares about.

I want to be someone whos life dosen't go wrong the moment they have only just got back to normal, I want to be someone without the slightly OCD need to write something all the time.

I just want to be normal..............whatever that is?

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boffinbabe12


Member

Posted Thu Apr 12th, 2007 11:06am Post subject: If i could i would
You wouldn't want to be normal because normal is only what society views to be normal and in my school normal is the bitchy, rude, plastic girls with closed minds.

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teenage_tragady


Member

Posted Thu Apr 12th, 2007 11:08am Post subject: If i could i would
But some how the plastic girls always seem to be perfectly happy ruining other peoples lives.

Life isn't fair.

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boffinbabe12


Member

Posted Thu Apr 12th, 2007 11:11am Post subject: If i could i would
Of course it isn't.... but sometimes the fairness ends up in your favour- for example the other day i recieved a letter from the school congratulating me in my latest excellent effort and achievement in PE.... I am so teidiously awful at PE I give up almost every lesson because I get so frustrated- however, I am friends witht he teacher who calls me the prime minister- its cool- and thus I get rewarded for beng a lovely person... to all my friends this seems unfair but i dont care!

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teenage_tragady


Member

Posted Thu Apr 12th, 2007 11:13am Post subject: If i could i would
My maths teacher is hilarious. We told him that he gets too over excited about maths, then he said you should see what happens when I do probability.
Everytime I'm in maths I just laugh all lesson

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