The rest of the month though fades into '''That Day'''. As my fathers cancer consumed body lay in bed, as he made peace with his impending finality - and here I must interject that I've seen a lot of people die, but none of them, not one, had the calm and graceful acceptance of his fate as my father did, and I think it was one last example for me from him. The only tear he shed was when he looked at me and noticed the wrenched face of somoene barely able to accept the inevitable. The timing of things worked out that he was fading quickly on Fathers Day. I couldn't leave the house to get him anything so I made this piddly card out of my computer and took it to his room. "Happy Fathers Day Pop. I've a card for you." He insisted on sitting up to read it, which was a monumental feat of will and intense pain. He sat next to me and I helped him open it. He asked me to read it to him and I did. A tear slid down his face, but it slid past his smile as he turned and leaned on my shoulder and said,"I'm going to read it every day, every day..." Then I helped him back into bed and got him situated. He asked for some water and when I brought it back he said,"I'm checking out of this hotel tomorrow. Do you understand?" I knew exactly what he meant. It felt like a freight train ran through my forehead. I told him not to worry, everything would be fine.
He passed the next day around five in the evening. My father's last gift to me, I think, was in not dieing on Fathers Day. The whole point of this sad story is that while I look forward to the fourth with all the glee and vigor of a child, I know there is a day to face that has the fingerprints of Grief all over it. I get a little morose by then and withdraw for days so Grief can get his beatings on me out of the way without interference of my normal life. I just pay the price and then it's done and I can climb back out of the mire he lays me in.
I'll always miss my dad and my friend. Always. So I do these little personal traditions to their honor even if my heart is breaking the whole time X-D
I know there are other stories like mine out there. And I don't mean to be a downbringer and if that's what you thought you either missed the point entirely or I failed to convey what I mean. In any event...happy freaking fourth of july kids!!