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Mad Irish Woman


Posted Thu Jul 11th, 2013 2:20pm Post subject: Just found out about me!

I had a series of close bereavements and life threatening illness to family members - starting in 2007 when my father died of cancer - very quick and traumatic for me.I self medicated to cope with my emotions and stresses/anxiety - threw my self into work to cope but due to work related relationships - others- this address more stress so on top of emotional stress I then added work related stress.I began to become withdrawn from social events and as I put it later - just existed for 5 years from 2007 to 2012. Finally my husband left last August- as I put it that was the straw that broke the camel's back. I then had a breakdown. I could go on and on about what that was like but in reality I thought and was told by GP I was depressed and anxious.I went back to work but still wasn't right and increased my antidepressants. Thought I may be bipolar as my sister is and in hindsight we suspect our Mum was an undiagnosed bipolar.I asked my GP to refer me for assessment which she did.Then was going to see my Mum in Ireland and had massive panic attack about what I was walking into following my experience with my Dad. Went and low and behold when there we had to get her to A&E so apart from her bone cancer she developed pneumonia and other serious infections. Thought she was a gonner.Anyways I prattle on.I think it affected me so much that 19/05 I was detained by police re suicide thoughts, again 24/05 and finally I took an overdose 14/06. Did a pretty good job - was in for 3 nights and 4 loads of 16hr antidote. Had the assessment 28/05.I think that it was after that I seriously started to research bipolar.Looking back at my behaviour I think I have been Cyclothymic for a number of years. I can see now that my outburts and knee jerk reactions to the smallest of things were ott and the mood swings - wow.What upsets me is that the Social Worker after my second detention my police said when I mentioned the bipolarv assessment referal due was @ we don't like to medicalise or labilse people.GP thinks I'm not mentally ill just have had a lot of life stresses in such a short time but looking back I know my behaviour, mood swings have been like this mainly since a major family separtion that I was dragged into which included welfare of the children in 1999.I'm curenntly on Mirtazapine 15mg - just reduced from 30mg as I was becoming too introvert - not normally me - and "in my zones". The psychiatrist didn't come out with a definate lable she danced around the issue even though the referral from GP was re concerns of bipolar.Looking at me I am pretty certain I have cyclothymia because reading the research I fit!!!Never knew about this lesser bipolar until the lovely Stephen's documentary which I have only just watched this week.Any helpful tips ?

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