Topic RSS | Reply to topic
Author Post

gadgetgirl


Member

Posted Thu Oct 31st, 2013 10:42am Post subject: Katy-Sara Culling

How do we get a paper copy? xxx

That would be me.

Back to top

Katymum


Member

Posted Thu Dec 5th, 2013 12:44am Post subject: Katy-Sara Culling

Thank you, Mr Fry, for tweeting about "Purple Girl" and for your contribution to the wonderful tributes to our beautiful daughter, Katy Sara. xSuex


Back to top

alfredo3


Member

Posted Thu Dec 26th, 2013 10:38pm Post subject: Katy-Sara Culling

Hi Katymum,

believe it or not I spent a lot of time communicating with your daughter, Katy, who I now miss very much. She was a genius. We started to communicated after she wrote to me. She helped many people and told me that after helping people she would often destroy any digital communication because that was to respect the privacy of the people. What a sensitive soul and what ethics and integrity.

I had given my email to everyone and displayed on Bipolar Connect of America, where Jhon McManamy writes. At that time I was showing off my art. I am a frustrated multi-talented artist who suffer with bipolar II and I also have rapid cycles, like Katy ( I called her Sara) only that mine are much milder.

At that time I was struggling because, while I had some very good ideas, about how to manage the disorder, I was too inexperienced and a bit narrow minded. Gradually, I have been able to get in touch with my more humble nature and Katy helped me to do this. I read a lot now and have build up extensive knowledge of what we call mental disorders and the various labels. Today I help many people online as a volunteer. With the help of two psychologists, and a psychiatrist, I listen to people's problems, problems to do with mental disorder. In Australia, were I live, the government does not help us very much but I guess it is the same in the UK. Some things are improving but it is true to say that for most of the time there is little direct help for us. I know how important it is for people to talk about their problems and yet both Australians and people of the UK are often reluctant to talk. Therapy is absolutely necessary, even vital I would say, for many people. True it does not work for everyone but it does work for many people. Please do talk about your problems because that will help tremendously. Keeping things inside is like keeping a poison that needs to come out.

Anyway, I am sending you a big hug, katymum, you had a beautiful daughter, a genius, and I miss her terribly. Here is my webpage with my email address. If you know of anyone who needs to talk to someone I do just what your daughter used to do: listen to people without judging and see if there is anything that my friends psychologists can do to help as volunteers. We are all volunteers. Together we often end up helping others quite well.

http://alfredo123.wordpress.com/2013/12/11/bipolar.....clude=1471

If anyone needs someone to talk I can listen or read, with Stephen Fry's permission. I am not a professional but I someone who suffers and has inside knowledge of mental disorders. The two psychologists who help me to support others are very experienced: Bob Rich and Paul Corcoran. We all live in Australia but I feel that Australia and the UK, thanks to the conservative politics and economic austerity, share much.

Sending a big hug to you, Katymum. I know it is a sad Christmas for you, but your daughter will always be with you.

I know how to fall asleep...
I am learning how to fall awake...

Back to top

alfredo3


Member

Posted Thu Dec 26th, 2013 10:51pm Post subject: Katy-Sara Culling

Oh, I forgot, here are some links to some of my music. All free to download. I am a song writer and these are various compositions and songs that can be freely downloaded for those who like this kind of jazz/new age music. http://alfredo123.wordpress.com/2013/12/12/bin-bip.....clude=1613

I know how to fall asleep...
I am learning how to fall awake...

Back to top

alfredo3


Member

Posted Thu Dec 26th, 2013 10:55pm Post subject: Katy-Sara Culling

I hope that there is something good about this particular Christmas and Coming New Year. If nothing else, I send everyone who reads this a big hug. Marry Christmas Stephen Fry and Marry Christmas Katy, wherever you are. Life is nothing but a journey, a mental journey. We are all in the same boat no matter if we are famous, rich, poor or whatever our condition we are all part of this big Universe. Each and everyone belongs here, here and now.

I know how to fall asleep...
I am learning how to fall awake...

Back to top

alfredo3


Member

Posted Fri Dec 27th, 2013 11:30am Post subject: Katy-Sara Culling

I recorded this song a couple of weeks ago, in my home studio. But the words I wrote when I was communicating with Katy. I remember it was about 4 AM in the UK and Katy was still up because she often had trouble sleeping. I told her it was the story of a homeless architect who I had met while working as a volunteer at a free restaurant, government sponsored, for homeless people. Katy liked the words very much. Here is the song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rAZm3cQ8QQ&feature=youtu.be

I know how to fall asleep...
I am learning how to fall awake...

Back to top

Katymum


Member

Posted Mon Dec 30th, 2013 8:05pm Post subject: Katy-Sara Culling

Thank you for your posts and your music and of course the Australian hugs! You are so right about Katy's genius and about her ability to reach out to folk. A friend told us that he had never seen such a severe Bipolar case as hers, so to fight as she did was pretty amazing! What people don't know is that she had a "massive" heart condition also. There was a big inquiry into her death and at the subsequent inquest the Coroner felt that because of the medical information given , she, the Coroner, could not support a verdict of suicide. Katy had told the staff she had taken an overdose of 200 tablets but in fact there was only medical evidence of 8 pills. Her words on her website showed that she was still begging for help, still fighting.
Everyone still needs to fight and still needs to listen. Katy's body gave up but she did not. I just felt you all needed to know this before this site disappears. Sue x


Back to top

alfredo3


Member

Posted Tue Dec 31st, 2013 12:47pm Post subject: Katy-Sara Culling

I was not aware that this site is about to disappear. It is a shame that such a good site has to come to an end. Thanks for the information Katymum.

I know how to fall asleep...
I am learning how to fall awake...

Back to top

alfredo3


Member

Posted Wed Jan 1st, 2014 9:43pm Post subject: Katy-Sara Culling

I have a book coming out soon, about my journey with bipolar disorder. I have asked my editor to write to Stephen Fry and ask him if he would be so kind to read the book and write something short about it. I think that he will do this soon in the next couple of days. I know that this would probably boost sales but given that I help so many people each year, as a volunteer, and that I donate my art for good causes and that I am a full time caregiver for my disabled wife, I could do with some help from Stephen. Naturally if he does not accept I love him all the same, he is one of my favorite people in this world though he may not know it and this would not change.

I am not as fluent with English language as Stephen; I am an Italian migrant, and I am not as experienced as Stephen ans we may have different life experiences. But I understand Stephen, how creative, intelligent and sensitive he is.

Here is a link to some information about my oncoming book which should be out late this year, all on Bipolar Disorder http://alfredo123.wordpress.com/2013/05/02/my-life.....-disorder/

Have a lovely new year everyone. And you too Stephen, may you have a better, more creative and more productive New Year. Love to you all

I know how to fall asleep...
I am learning how to fall awake...

Back to top

alfredo3


Member

Posted Tue Jan 21st, 2014 9:36pm Post subject: Katy-Sara Culling

My editor, Victor Volkman, of the Loving and Healing press has written to Stephen Fry asking if he would be kind enough to read my book based on my experiences with bipolar disorder. We asked if Stephen could write about 50 words to express what he thinks about the book. The book is mainly about the need for social support in society and the fact that we need respite centers for the mentally ill or centralized places where people can be housed for a while while they recover. Medication is only a tiny part of the therapy and not a complete cure in itself.

Stephen Fry has declined because he is too busy and I do understand this. I know how hard he works. But I would like to say that I work at home, as a volunteer, up to 15 hours per day, helped by two psychologist (one is Dr Bob Rich who lives in Melbourne Australia) and one psychiatrist. I help up to 40 to 50 people per day just by listening to them and sometime providing vital contact numbers of various government agencies. Sometimes I have no time for myself ( no time to go to the toilet) and on top of it, I help my disabled wife. I do it because I know that if I turn my back of those with mental illness, then I am contributing to stigma.

Sorry for being so honest Stephen Fry, I believe that it is important to tell it like it is. But this has not change how I feel for you. You are a good man and I continue to think of you as a special person. I have simply being honest with you and the people here.

I know how to fall asleep...
I am learning how to fall awake...

Back to top

alfredo3


Member

Posted Thu Jan 23rd, 2014 12:47am Post subject: Katy-Sara Culling

I have watched Stephen Fry's documentary on Gay people and I find it interesting. I agree with him that homosexuality is largely biological, in the sense that a man's attraction to another man is biological. I am married to a woman and I don't have experience of feeling for another man, but I can understand it when Stephen explains it in his documentary, and I have no prejudice towards gay people. Never had prejudice towards anyone. I have many gay friends.

So, yes, homosexuality comes down to genetics (of course there could be some rare cases that may not be genetic, there are always exceptions to the rules. But what about mental illness?

It is here that Stephen Fry and I may be at odds. I have a feeling that for Stephen Fry it is all genetics as well. In fact, he claims in some of his documentaries that he had perfectly good parents. But then he also claims that his father was distant. And we know from other documentaries that he was bullied at one stage. This can do it, the bullying can cause a mental illness especially if combined with other minor traumas.

I think that we have too much evidence about the link between a sensitive personality combined with childhood traumatic experiences. This is a fact established by research. IN this sense the only genetics about someone suffering with mental illness may be her or his very sensitive personality and low resilience.

This is the largest investigation ever conducted http://www.cdc.gov/ace/

So what do I think about Stephen Fry's views that mental illness mostly comes down to genetics? I think that this view is more in tune with professionals like psychiatrists and the pharmaceutical companies. They may have done a good job at convincing Stephen because they are powerful and full of money. Money talks and... the rest walks.

Even Sara had agreed with me. Let's be fully honest, I had told her many times. I said: Sara, your problem, and I repeat YOUR PROBLEM, is your training in medicine. This is your greatest enemy. Because it forces you to see mental illness as an "illness". And Sara did tell me of her many traumas and, of course, we all know that she was a very sensitive and emphatic soul. Combination of being sensitive with trauma equates mental illness. She understood my perspective, and even approved of it, but said that she could not help it but follow the medical profession.

There is no illness, I said to Sara, the brain and mind are too complex and the mind can heal itself we have proof of this look at the book of Norman Doidge who argues how blind people can learn to see with devices that help train their brain. And many other incredible things. The brain can heal itself and it can also change. Using too much medication , like anti psychotics, mixed with other stuff can become a witch's brew that may do more harm than good.

Unfortunately, or fortunately for me, the truth will come out soon. A sensitive and creative personality, combined with creativity and some past trauma, is enough to trigger a mental illness.

Could the distant behaviour of Stephen Fry's father have caused or trigger a mental illness? Perhaps not by itself, but combined with other things, such as the fact that Stephen is gay (society is never kind toward gay people. Actually this could be most of the cause) and other problems which may have added up could have been enough to trigger a mental illness in Stephen Fry's mind. Very intelligent people and especially very creative people like us are prone to develop a mental illness. This may be the price to pay for great creativity, great sensitivity and empathy for the world.

As you see, Me Fry, I know a lot, enough to truly help people. Who knows, I could help you? But famous people do not mix with the average Joe. Let me tell you something Mr Fry: I don't like famous and rich people. Most are too self cetered, too selfish and greedy, and too preoccupied with their own silly lives to actually help people and their world. I would never want to be like that for no money on this planet. Fortunately, you are different, Stepehn, in a good way, so that in this sense you are lucky.

Was nice to talk honestly. Some may think: what an idiot. Well we cannot be all the same. But I am telling you, when it comes to mental illness (or mantal disorder as I prefer to call it) I have more experience than Stephen Fry because I help about 50 people each day and I have a database of 6000 sufferers who write to me from all over the world. And I am sure that Stephen does not do this. Stephen mainly listens to the middle class and this may be unavoidable since he is a middle/upper class man. I help working class people and those on welfare or homeless who cannot afford to pay for therapy

Where is the mental illness? Where is the virus that causes the mental illness? It does not exists. Mental disorders exists and they are very serious and need professional help. But helping someone by telling them that they have a permanent illness and helping them in another way, telling them that they have a disorder that can be overcome, if not fully than partly, is a totally different thing.

I know how to fall asleep...
I am learning how to fall awake...

Back to top

alfredo3


Member

Posted Thu Jan 23rd, 2014 2:14am Post subject: Katy-Sara Culling

Why do I say that I don't like many famous people? Have I met any? Yes, I have met many. Since I was a child I was in the company of Frank Sinatra, Lionel Hampton, Julio Iglesias and many others http://alfredo123.wordpress.com/2011/10/20/carolo-.....ano-zotti/

And I have met some actors. Very few care for the people of the world and do things to help. Most are only interested in themselves developing a narcissistic personality. Some of the good ones have dies like Sarah Vaughan. But these people belong the the old fashion school http://www.alfredozotti.com/

The world is largely corrupted today and money has achieved the status of a God. It has corrupted all of us.

I know how to fall asleep...
I am learning how to fall awake...

Back to top

TobiasMonk


Moderator

Posted Sun Jan 26th, 2014 8:18pm Post subject: Katy-Sara Culling

Alfredo, your last few posts have veered off topic somewhat in nature, please begin a new thread if you wish to express yourself on those topics. I've never known Stephen to reply to such posts, you may want to revisit this link, or perhaps have your editor try him again and include your sentiment. That said, best of luck with your book, and thanks for all you do to help make change happen. Peace.

http://www.stephenfry.com/misc/contacts/

I cannot be awake for nothing looks to me as it did before, Or else I am awake for the first time, and all before has been a mean sleep.
Walt Whitman

Back to top

alfredo3


Member

Posted Sun Jan 26th, 2014 10:45pm Post subject: Katy-Sara Culling

Thank you TobiasMonk for your kind message. I have a lot on my plate at present so that I won't be writing here much for a while.

People with bipolar are notorious for going off tangents and for writing things that seem to veer off topic. In reality everything is connected to us and people with bipolar may have the special ability to see this connection. Having said this, I know what you are saying and I do agree with you.

I am just letting off some steam. I realize that Stephen Fry is a very busy man and it is unreasonable of me to come up with these ideas. And why did I feel hurt? I don't exactly know for in my mind I am aware that famous people do not reply to non famous people. There is a reason for this.

My editor did contact Stephen Fry and received a message saying that at this stage he is too busy and cannot take on new projects. I can understand this. From where I stand, I feel that it is not everyday that someone with bipolar comes out to tell his life story to the world. For if we don't listen to what sufferers have to say, we end up listening to the experts and that is a danger that we may get the wrong information on what bipolar, or any other mental disorder, really is.

But thank you TobiasMonk, you are right in what you are saying. All I know is that if we shut doors on the face of people who suffer, whether directly or indirectly, we are only contributing to the stigma which silences people with bipolar, taking away their chance of speaking their mind. We should be doing the opposite and that is going out of our way to help people with bipolar express themselves and encourage them to do so. If we don't do this we are contributing to stigma.

This may be relevant in the sense that most of the work of Sara and my work was about giving people who suffer a voice, to let them speak their mind.

Thank you for your kindness and please feel free to delete the posts that you feel do not belong here. It is fine with me, I am OK with it and I do agree with you.

I know how to fall asleep...
I am learning how to fall awake...

Back to top

alfredo3


Member

Posted Sun Jan 26th, 2014 10:52pm Post subject: Katy-Sara Culling

This may be relevant in the sense that my work is similar to what Sara was doing. Today I have helped 20 people already, 2 who were contemplating suicide. I have helped them by convincing them that they do not have a mental illness but a disorder that is nevertheless serious. While medication can help, the problem is stigma. So I am helping people develop resilience to stigma and understand that stigma is more of a structural problem rather than just people's prejudice. In a single day I help up to 40 or 50 people and on top of it I have a disabled wife. My health is suffering somewhat because of all the work I do but I will not shut the door on people who suffer and happen to have reached me in desperation, not knowing what to do next. Mental illness, or the idea of an illness proper, contributes to keeping people unwell and taking any ability to help themselves away from their hands. And this is the greatest tragedy, to mislead people into thinking that they have an incurable disease.

I know how to fall asleep...
I am learning how to fall awake...

Back to top