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Posted Fri Mar 25th, 2011 10:14pm Post subject: Katy-Sara Culling

I'm so sorry to hear of this...not that I ever knew her, but I sometimes read the "depressive" part of the forum for comfort when I'm very down, and her story always stood out. I've always found it hard to believe how much pain she had lived through, or still lived with. It seems so wrong that a life like that should end on a low as well.

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Posted Fri Mar 25th, 2011 11:53pm Post subject: Katy-Sara Culling

When I first met Katy-Sara on these forums a few years ago I was still recovering from my tumor and my best friend had left me after deciding that my recovery from something like cancer really meant that I was lazy. I was at one of the lowest points in my life but I got the following message from Katy...

Hiya, Just got around to reading your introduction message - struck with awe that you cope with all that you do. I hope soon I will also be living alone with my dog! (I was forced to live with parents at the age of 28 "for my own safety" after having lived away from home for years. Do keep in touch, and contact me if I can be of any help. Check out my website, then there wont be much you don't know about me! KSx

I tell you that message really helped me out. For the past two years before that everyone was constantly either "oh poor hanna" or "oh poor us because we have to change things to help hanna"

That message made me feel normal again. Here was someone I had never met wishing she could be like me and have an apartment of her own with her dog.

We talked many times over the years on the forums, facebook and twitter and yet I'd still never be able to express what that first message meant to me.

I used to be EternalStudent on these forums until the switch over. So don't get excited..I'm not someone new and exciting. I'm just me :P

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Posted Sat Mar 26th, 2011 12:39am Post subject: Katy-Sara Culling

The finality of it all is shattering. No more Katy-Sara. Just us, sending pointless messages into the void... I feel for those who knew her well. I've just recently become friendly with her, and I am shaken. And unable to use past tense for the life of me. Rest in peace, dear love. We will have to learn how to shuffle along without you. It will always feel fucked up.

Wisdom is the ability to cope. - Stephen Fry, Harvard 2/22/11


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Posted Sat Mar 26th, 2011 1:40am Post subject: Katy-Sara Culling

Dear Lord. I can't say I knew Katy-Sara very well, but she did so much for this forum and her devotion to it and the friends she had here was something to be admired and deeply appreciated. I have always shied away from posting my own problems in the BPD section of the forum, but reading through her responses to others often helped reassure me in a way that I can't really explain. I hope everyone will be inspired to continue the wonderful work she did towards helping people with this condition, and strive to show the same level of kindness.

My deepest sympathies to her family and to all who knew her.

Rest in peace, Katy-Sara. It won't be the same without you.

Hand in hand we can marvel together at the strangeness of the human condition.
- Stephen

Bianca: Why did you not tell me you were so strong?
Simone: Why did you not tell me you were beautiful?
- Oscar


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Posted Sat Mar 26th, 2011 6:54am Post subject: Katy-Sara Culling

Much thanks to everyone who shared their lovely memories of Katy-Sara. Too often when someone dies, we inevitably end up focusing on how they died rather than how they lived. I'm glad that many of you have good memories of Katy and that she had a positive impact on your lives. I'm sure you will always remember and treasure that.

"Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you." -Oscar Wilde

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Posted Sat Mar 26th, 2011 9:01am Post subject: Katy-Sara Culling

I'm so sorry to hear to hear this. I didn't know Katy-Sara very well myself but knowing how much she helped this forum and so many people, this makes me sad. My condolences to her family and everyone who knew her. Thank you for sharing your stories.

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Posted Sat Mar 26th, 2011 10:02am Post subject: Katy-Sara Culling

I'm very saddened by this news. I didn't know Katy-Sara personally, apart from seeing her posts, but after reading all the contributions to this thread, I can see she was a much-loved and very caring person. My heart goes out to her family.

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Posted Sat Mar 26th, 2011 10:31am Post subject: Katy-Sara Culling

michael said:

Random things about Katy Sara...

Thank you for sharing all these facts about Katy, Michael!

I knew her as one of the mods and the person who was running the Secret Life section on Forum which I visited almost everyday but never dared to write anything as I thought my light troubles were nothing in comparison with what people had shared with her. Katy was helping a lot! She was always there for us!

I happened to know her a little bit closer only these past 3 months, and those PMs we shared are still very valuable to me, she helped me much.

I think helping and sacrificing are the two words which would have described Katy the most as a person, a wonderful person...

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Posted Sat Mar 26th, 2011 10:19pm Post subject: Katy-Sara Culling

Hi everyone,

I am new to all this online stuff, but always knew Katy knew and helped hundreds of people through this site, The Bipolar Foundation site and her own website.

I have known Katy for 10 years, since we met in Oxford as students receiving treatment for our mental health problems. As with you all, she touched my life and changed it for the better.

She would never judge, or question, She would be honest and kind. No problem was too great, it was never the wrong time. She wrote so that others had a voice. She told the world that she was not ashamed of who she was, and I have taken that to my workplace and to my friends. She was perceptive and sensitive and loved others as she was never able to love herself.

I feel that her view of herself and the world was inverted. She was a light, a beacon of hope, a beautiful soul and a force for good in a world that is dark, cynical, selfish and cruel. She saw the beauty in others, the strengths we did not know we had until she pointed them out. Yet she could never see in the reflection of our love the wonder that she was.

She loved purple, Greenday, Pink, tattoos and really, really bad gore/shock horror movies. She had poetry in her soul and loved to read. She saw beauty in the black heart of other's suffering, through the window of their words to the world. She loved her dogs, and was devastated when Bobby died a few years ago. How Poppy will miss her now she is gone (especially sneaking into her room to sleep in bed with her!). She doted on her godchildren and her nephew. She was a fan of scampi and chips and blue wkd (or a frozen mojito).

Katy used many words to describe herself. To me she was a friend, a daughter, a sister, a gifted writer and scientist, a proud Oxonion, a computer whizz, an avid skier and cyclist. She was kind, generous, loving, forgiving, open, funny. She had the soul of a poet, the courage of a lioness and carried a burden most of us would have dropped long, long ago.

She is Katy Sara.

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Posted Sun Mar 27th, 2011 1:43am Post subject: Katy-Sara Culling

That was perfect, Clare, thank you. I was hoping you might pop in here.

I cannot be awake for nothing looks to me as it did before, Or else I am awake for the first time, and all before has been a mean sleep.
Walt Whitman

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Posted Sun Mar 27th, 2011 1:44am Post subject: Katy-Sara Culling

Thank you so much for sharing that post Clare30, it is nice to hear from someone who know KatySara personally. She sounds like she was as amazing IRL as she was on these forums. And I enjoyed learning more about what she liked and did when she wasn't on here. *hug*

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Posted Sun Mar 27th, 2011 3:38am Post subject: Katy-Sara Culling

For Katy, and anyone else who'd care to listen along with her.
Words provided for the unfamiliar...

Really? Wow.

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Posted Sun Mar 27th, 2011 6:20am Post subject: Katy-Sara Culling

That was really beautiful, Clare. Thank you for sharing with us.

"Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you." -Oscar Wilde

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Posted Sun Mar 27th, 2011 8:57am Post subject: Katy-Sara Culling

Have just read this and am deeply saddened by this news.
A loving person who put others ahead of herself all to often, and that always made Katy one of my heroes.
Will always be in my mind and heart Katy
Pete Snelling

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Posted Sun Mar 27th, 2011 2:23pm Post subject: Katy-Sara Culling

This is so terribly sad. I haven't been a member of the forum long, but in my brief exchanges with KatySara she was always wonderfully kind, especially when I was nervous about posting in the BPD section of the site. It is clear that she was a truly lovely person. My thoughts are with her friends and family x

'Vote for E.L. Wisty, or invisible nudists will come along and smash you round the face.'

(E.L. Wisty)

My Attempt at Tumbling

Twitter: @CliveLive49

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