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april101


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Posted Sun Oct 16th, 2011 6:50am Post subject: Living with Cancer and forgiveness

Hi guys I hope its okay to let of steam here it helps to think things through, so sorry to be such a pain just ignore me if possibly.
(cant spell either so here we go)

Well it was that phone call, the one that you never wish to here, you mother telling you, i have cancer.me being my cheerful self and always looking on the bright side of things, responded with, it will be okay, we can do this. That my friends was 3years ago.It is had for me to ever talk about my mum. as we have had so many differences in the past from the abuse that I suffered from her, and the unanswered questions that boil in me, since an early age. so sometimes I would forgive her and we could be friends again, other times we would leave unspoken,when she mistreats me.

I am a strong believer in forgiveness, ever since I became a christian,and I know that god helps me but not always,sometimes I am left wandering where are you in times of trouble, but I guess then, he'd like as, to work out are own problems to

back to my mother she as never truly forgiving me from the past,I took the opportunity to break up my mothers marriage. you see that I wasn't a bad person and it took a lot of guts to reach out to others for help at 13, I was incredible brave,I had watched my farther and mother beat us, abuse as for many years,and decided after trying to run away so many times,and ended up on the dark lonely street, cold staffing, that it was not my fault and told someone, but of course no one was listen.

So this made the climb just that little more harder but finally it was about two years later people started to believe me.one day I walked in to school with the two biggest black eyes you have ever seen. On this day I wore a pair of sun glasses with a note in my hand saying, that I had to leave them on because of an nasty eye infection. and then through out the day, I would go to the girls toilets, and hide from everyone, and spend most of my life crying in pain, both physicality and emotional.

After sometime my farther and mother broke up and I stood at my front gate that my parents through me out of when I was 16,and watched my father being taken by the police in to jail. I had done it I had saved my brothers and sisters.you see I had promised then, that when I was older I would get a big house and take as all there and we would be so happy.

I have never wrote about my past or spoken much to anyone since that day so thank you fry for your bravery and confidence. But why the cancer, well i believe now that my mother possible loved me and was jealous of the fact that I took the stand where she was to weak to do anything bless her. you see she is know dying and she came to my house today and looked for true forgiveness.

but if I had not found the strength through fry's books. Then i'd would not be at peace with my mum today. its such a nice feeling to let it all go, I cried for the first time in my life and the dark cloud that followed me all my life as gone. please remember,that I have never spoke of this before,so please forgive me if I am out of order here

but watching a video, on the depression that Mr fry had cope with is helping me to speak out. although I have heard of many stories on this terrible suffering in the past it never it home. but because our fry is so open and confident about talking about is life, that it helps me and hope others because I know, the pain that he had felt been there so many times.

so i just want to thank you mr fry for coming there with me today. my heart feels lighter and I am sorry for the suffering that you had to deal with hope you we not on your own. but we are all here for you. thank you friends for listen
from April to you.


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