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brevel_monkey


Member

Posted Tue Feb 17th, 2009 12:07am Post subject: Love nor money
I was lonely and upset;
Depression began to bite me.
I couldn't grasp the incredible drive
That people have to make money.

Like Afghan traders who walked their camels
On scorching sands to Urumqi;
Just to take some saffron eastwards -
And buy some bags of tea.

And Congolese traders who risk their lives
On deadly jungle tracks;
With heavy jugs of palm-oil digging
Right in to their backs.


Then I sold your stuff on Ebay,
As a temporary distraction.
And now I know their motivation
Was their sense of satisfaction.

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sillionshine


Member

Posted Sat Mar 7th, 2009 3:49pm Post subject: Love nor money
I like the structure of this. The first and last stanzas written in the first-person about things from the narrator's life, bookending the two middle stanzas which are about exotic subject matter and written in the third-person.

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