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Nele


Member

Posted Wed Jan 14th, 2009 11:34pm Post subject: Love Sonnet
Love sonnet

They only want to get you into bed,
They fuck and fuck and never care for you,
And then they go and leave you in the blue,
And tell vagina farting jokes; the head

You gave gets graded poorly by the lad.
Then suddenly he says he’s thought it through,
He feels so deep and beautiful and true.
Trust me, he wants your sex, that’s what she said.

But I must ask what is she talking of?
The men I meet - they always fall in love
And send me poems Love, above and dove

They rhyme; respect for now and sex, well later!
I don’t want love - I want that woman-hater
To do me dirty in the elevator.

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Nele


Member

Posted Sun Jan 18th, 2009 2:46am Post subject: Love Sonnet
Hmmm... I was hoping to get some kind of reaction... no reaction is a really bad sign. Bugger.

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huggyrei


Member

Posted Thu Jan 22nd, 2009 12:40pm Post subject: Love Sonnet
It was funny; I liked it.

I'm not convinced by this line:
You gave gets graded poorly by the lad.
I'm not sure this really makes sense!

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Marvelon


Member

Posted Thu Jan 22nd, 2009 1:01pm Post subject: Love Sonnet
I like it it follows the format of the sonnet well. I find being poetic within a framework very hard, Kudos

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Nele


Member

Posted Thu Jan 29th, 2009 11:24am Post subject: Love Sonnet
Thanks a lot for the feedback. BtW the line is an enjambement. It reads: The head/ you gave gets graded poorly by the lad.

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huggyrei


Member

Posted Mon Feb 2nd, 2009 5:34pm Post subject: Love Sonnet
Thanks a lot for the feedback. BtW the line is an enjambement. It reads: The head/ you gave gets graded poorly by the lad.

Ah, that makes more sense. I think the reason I didn't read this correctly is that the split takes place over two different verses rather than just two lines in the same verse.

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