STEPHEN FRY

Hamsters can be so rude! I mean, they spend 40% of their time pooping in people's hands. We used to put ours on toy boats in the bathtub so they could go on cruises.

Katrina said:
I am the most accurate cashier in aaaaallllll of the grocery store. At the moment, anyway. Summer jobs are freaking amazing. I've also fulfilled my lifelong dream of working in an air-conditioned building.

ETA: I also doubled coupons today without f-ing up; remembered the codes for tomatoes (4087), bananas (4011), kiwi (4030), broccoli crowns (4548), cherries (4045), asparagus (4048), avocados (4046), green peppers (4065), and vidalia onions (4159); and only called a manager for help three times! I hate being new. Luckily, if you straighten your hair and smile a lot, people tend not to be too impatient.

Lol, congrats on your expert cashiering, Katrina!

*Seethes quietly with envy* LOL - I am the WORST cashier in alllll of the bingo hall! Last week I was over £8 down. Which in the end didn't seem so horrendous, as my awful calculation at first indicated that I was £308 down. I drop everything I pick up. Prize envelopes, pound coins, coin trays, receipts - you name it, I drop it.

When I emerge from the cashbox I invariably look like I've been dragged through a henge backwards.

mercycroft said:
To be dragged backwards through an historically fascinating yet mystifying arrangement of stones sacred to the Druids.

That WOULD be horrendous.

I wouldn't worry about the cash not being right, or dropping stuff all the time; I'm the lowest of the store management team where I work, but I still deal with far more idiotic mistakes from my staff. Usually it's things like ripping through the barcode on a voucher or refunding something that shouldn't have been, but they do have more epic failures - like a staff member who spent half an hour today hunting for something that was right in front of her!!

I have my moments too - today I was gap-checking (looking to see what stock we're missing) and I scanned an item, the computer said we had 16, but I saw none - it took me 5 very confused minutes to remember I'd personally moved them to another display a while back!!

eT

Not really lovely, but it shows how stupid I am, and it made me lol:
I closed for the first time at the grocery store the other night. The manager was showing me how to count the various newspapers we had left to see how many we'd sold that day. I was like, "Oh, I count them so someone can recount them tomorrow morning and see if any have been stolen," not realizing at the time that NEW PAPERS COME OUT EVERY DAY. Idiot.

Sorry for resurrecting a rather old thread, lol, but I just wanted to share this - I have an appointment at the Gender Clinic on Thursday! It's the loveliest thing that's happened to me in a long time, lol! I'm so excited!

I do hope I'll be able to get hormone treatment. I'm so exhausted of awkward social encounters. The other day, a customer at the bingo called me 'Darling' the first time I checked a claim, and then 'Mate' when I brought him his prize, and then, 'Darling' when I brought him the receipt to sign, and then 'Son' when he won for a second time. I don't know whether he was working it out in his own head, or whether he thought I was a different person every time he encountered me, but at any rate he could've just picked one and stuck with it....

People get so frustrated as well, and I start out relaxed about it, and then when they get frustrated at their own mistake, their frustration rubs off on me. Like, a lady the other day said, 'Oh, you've changed your name,' and I said, 'Yes. I changed it to a boy's name, for I am transsexual' (I've stopped pussyfooting around in my explanations now, lol), and she said, 'Oh, well. Good lass. Lad. Lass. I mean lad. LAD!' I

I was picking up a prescription the other day, too, and the pharmacist said, 'Are you sure that A____ hasn't come in to pick it up himself already?' and I said, 'Erm... no. I am A_____. I am the A____ of which you speak.' (My name isn't actually A_____. It's Andrew. I don't know why I'm disguising it. It's no great secret - I'm not a spy or anything. I'm a a bingo caller. Even if my bosses at the bingo found this, they wouldn't call me into the office and say, 'Andrew, you've been posting on a Stephen Fry message board. I'm afraid we'll have to let you go). And the pharmacist said, 'Well, sorreeee,' in that kind of sarcastic, 'I'm not really sorry' kind of way. WHAT? Why is SHE annoyed that SHE might've offended ME? WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?

The whole things really messing me up. I keep dreaming about penises. I fell asleep this afternoon and dreamt that I was performing oral... you know... on Daniel Craig as James Bond (am I allowed to mention that on here, or is it inappropriate?) It started out great - we were in an underground car park and I saved him from being shot by leaping in front of a bullet, though then we were suddenly in bed, and I was under the covers... doing... that thing... but his lower anatomy kept shrinking and curling away from me like one of those tongues in a toy lizard that you squeeze.

Hi Recoveringchristian!

Thank you so much for your response, and for the well wishes - the appointment went well, thanks - lots more assessment to go through before they can diagnose and treat me, it looks like, but at least the process has started and I'm on the right road!

Antony and the Johnsons look great - I'd never heard of them before, but I followed your link and looked up some of their stuff on iTunes, and their music sounds really interesting. I'll have to download a couple of their albums.

Never entered my mind that your post was patronising or condescending - thank you for being so friendly!

extremely stale ginger biscuits may or may not cure acute drunk hiccups. fact or unfact.