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Frazzy


Member

Posted Sun Mar 31st, 2013 11:43am Post subject: Lovely Little Things II - the lost years

Sleep until 4PM, Acquire black hospital coffee and hospital cafe chips and listen to strange nurses conversations (Spent so much time visiting hospital in the past 2 years, have some kind of Stockholm syndrome type thing. I'd totally go sit in random waiting rooms just for 'fun') followed by Doctor Who and Nachos. A good day.
Also imagined various nurses, orderlies, patients and the food tray man in regency garb. Amusing.
Troubled only by this one built-in chair thing in a row of built in chair things, that is upholstered in completely different material for no apparent reason, IT IS UNSETTLING. I suspect if you sit on it, it opens a secret door that goes to the secret mad scientist and/or vampire part of the hospital. The Frankenstein wing.


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Clive


Member

Posted Fri Apr 12th, 2013 4:21pm Post subject: Lovely Little Things II - the lost years

Gratified to hear you tried the Regency Garb Game, Frazzy - awesome, isn't it?

Tomorrow evening I have to dress up as Freddy Mercury in drag for our Saturday night show at the bingo hall. Originally my biologically male colleague was going to do it, but then the rotas changed, so I've ended up being Freddie. You know the hoover bit from 'I Want To Break Free'? We're doing that. I've just managed to convince the customers that I'm a man - this is going to confuse them beyond belief Also a bit of a hairy moment this morning when we tried to assemble the hoover and the cyclone bit fell off. So I'll have to hoover very carefully on the night.

'Vote for E.L. Wisty, or invisible nudists will come along and smash you round the face.'

(E.L. Wisty)

My Attempt at Tumbling

Twitter: @CliveLive49

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Clive


Member

Posted Wed Apr 17th, 2013 8:56pm Post subject: Lovely Little Things II - the lost years

Ok, becoming mildly worried that I'm killing threads now

Anyway, we did the Freddy Mercury sketch and it went down rather well. The hoover was cumbersome to handle but I managed it. We gave away a massive cardboard cutout of the Queen as one of the prizes (yes - Her Majesty, in keeping with the 'Queen' theme), and the woman who won it was so delighted that her and her friends asked if they could also have the cardboard cutout of Big Ben that we had on stage as decoration, so we told them that they could have it if they came up onstage and did a bicycle-style dance to 'Bicycle Race' by Queen. They re-negotiated, though, to doing a dance to 'Don't Stop Me Now,' and three of them straddled the Big Ben cutout and processed around the stage. I was commanded to hop on the back of Big Ben halfway through and join them.

In more annoying news, I had a bit of a meltdown whilst calling the bingo the other day. At the beginning of the Early Session I accidentally said 'fifty-seven' instead of 'fifty-six,' and the hall exploded into uproar (you think I'm exaggerating - I'm not. If you've ever been to a big bingo hall you'll know how brutal it can be). So I did my usual 'I apologise - don't panic' routine, which usually works to diffuse the situation, though for some reason this time it didn't. Instead, one woman shouted quite viciously, 'WELL CONCENTRATE THEN!' I've had worse things yelled at me while calling, but I was having a particularly bad day that day and something snapped and I said over the microphone, 'Well, if anyone else would like to get up here and call strings of numbers out for the entirety of their existence without making a single mistake, then you're welcome!' There was a shocked silence and then more uproar. One elderly lady who likes me shouted, 'Don't let them shout at you, A___!' and other people were defending the woman who'd shouted at me and other people were telling off the people defending her. I said, 'I'm only human,' continued the game, and at the end of the book ran into the staff room and sobbed for five minutes. Then came out and called the rest of the bingo.

I mean. I MEAN. Why is bingo calling so peculiar that we allow people to get away with such evil mean-ness?! Last month, my colleague missed a very quiet claim and the woman whose claim she'd missed screamed at her and told her 'You're an awful human being.' On Sunday, another of my colleagues was told by a customer, 'You stink. Wear some deororant.' It's almost part of the bingo experience for the customers - to come and gripe and be mean to someone, and it's usually the callers that get the brunt of it as they're the most visible and vocal.

If a customer in a shop asked the cashier how much, say, a rubber duck cost, and the cashier said, 'It's six pounds sixty five. Oh, silly me. I mean six pounds fifty six.' And then the customer stood in the middle of the shop floor and shouted 'IT'S SIX POUNDS FIFTY SIX! YOU GOT IT WRONG, YOU IDIOT! CONCENTRATE WHY DON'T YOU! YOU'RE WORTHLESS - YOU'RE UNFIT TO BE A CASHIER - I CAME HERE TO BUY A RUBBER DUCK AND YOU'RE MAKING IT VERY DIFFICULT WITH YOUR STAGGERING INCOMPETENCE AND, BY THE WAY, YOU SMELL AND YOU'RE A CRAP HUMAN BEING AND YOU'RE JUST AWFUL AND I HATE YOU,' then surely they'd be escorted out of the shop by security.

Bingo's weird as, Dudes. Weird as.

'Vote for E.L. Wisty, or invisible nudists will come along and smash you round the face.'

(E.L. Wisty)

My Attempt at Tumbling

Twitter: @CliveLive49

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Frazzy


Member

Posted Thu Apr 18th, 2013 8:09am Post subject: Lovely Little Things II - the lost years

Killing threads is better than killing real life conversations..

Coming between old ladies and their gambling is unwise.
Maybe bingo needs rubber ducks, rubber ducks are the zen sand garden of bath time,... but no, now I've imagined naked-bubble-bath-bingo, This is most displeasing.


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Popeye


Member

Posted Fri Apr 19th, 2013 3:30pm Post subject: Lovely Little Things II - the lost years

Clive said:
If a customer in a shop asked the cashier how much, say, a rubber duck cost, and the cashier said, 'It's six pounds sixty five. Oh, silly me. I mean six pounds fifty six.' And then the customer stood in the middle of the shop floor and shouted 'IT'S SIX POUNDS FIFTY SIX! YOU GOT IT WRONG, YOU IDIOT! CONCENTRATE WHY DON'T YOU! YOU'RE WORTHLESS - YOU'RE UNFIT TO BE A CASHIER - I CAME HERE TO BUY A RUBBER DUCK AND YOU'RE MAKING IT VERY DIFFICULT WITH YOUR STAGGERING INCOMPETENCE AND, BY THE WAY, YOU SMELL AND YOU'RE A CRAP HUMAN BEING AND YOU'RE JUST AWFUL AND I HATE YOU,' then surely they'd be escorted out of the shop by security.

This is so true and I don't see what gives Bingo players the right to be so rude and nasty. After all IT'S JUST A GAME PEOPLE! I hope yourself and your colleague are able to try to ignore the horrible comments and know that you are bigger and better than them and they should count themselves lucky and be grateful to have someone so nice working for their enjoyment and entertainment.
BTW I'd love to see pics of the Queen act - it sounds hilarious!


Everyday should be Fryday!
Soupy Twist!

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Clive


Member

Posted Wed May 8th, 2013 5:13pm Post subject: Lovely Little Things II - the lost years

Popeye said:
This is so true and I don't see what gives Bingo players the right to be so rude and nasty. After all IT'S JUST A GAME PEOPLE! I hope yourself and your colleague are able to try to ignore the horrible comments and know that you are bigger and better than them and they should count themselves lucky and be grateful to have someone so nice working for their enjoyment and entertainment.
BTW I'd love to see pics of the Queen act - it sounds hilarious!

Thanks Popeye, I'm not sure how nice I am, lol, but glad I come across that way! It's hard not to take it personally when customers are mean, lol, but I seem to be developing a thicker skin day by day. And they seem to have been more subdued since I had my hissy fit, mwahaha! I felt really bad for losing control like that, then I saw Helen Mirren telling off those drummers on the news the other day and I felt much better - I was like - YES! Even Helen Mirren dressed as the Queen loses it sometimes!

I'm not sure whether we got pictures of the Queen act, lol - I sort of hope we didn't! We're doing the Blues Brothers this Saturday - I can't wait

'Vote for E.L. Wisty, or invisible nudists will come along and smash you round the face.'

(E.L. Wisty)

My Attempt at Tumbling

Twitter: @CliveLive49

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Frazzy


Member

Posted Fri May 10th, 2013 2:33am Post subject: Lovely Little Things II - the lost years

It's great when a thing that has needed cleaning for ages and is really gross suddenly breaks, and then you can get a new thing and not have to clean the old thing. Even better when you can now get a larger thing that is better because things cost less then they did when you got the original thing. Even more wonderful is discovering that the new thing beeps in a much less irritating manner than the old thing. Although I do think all things should come with an an option to never ever beep under any circumstances whatsoever ever at all ever because beeping is fucking annoying. Except smoke alarms, I guess, though in my experience Labradors are better than smoke alarms, as a Labrador has actually saved me from a fire, but all a smoke alarm has ever done is make me fall to the floor, paralysed by the horrible sound, waiting for someone tall to take the battery out so I can continue to cook bacon. My point being, obviously, that we have a new microwave, and it is shiny and nice and doesn't smell like burnt porridge and exploded stir-fry and is big enough that the popcorn packet doesn't get caught on the side and can continue on it's merry journey around and around and around and around and around.... And it's beep is less ear-bleed inducing!


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Frazzy


Member

Posted Sat May 18th, 2013 7:23pm Post subject: Lovely Little Things II - the lost years

Packing has shone light upon the fact that I am a hoarder of shoelaces, the realisation of which, only makes me want more shoelaces..


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