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Nitro


Member

Posted Sat Feb 7th, 2009 7:39pm Post subject: My Motivation is There
Disclaimer: This was written on the fly and as a little challenge from a friend of mine. Here it is in all of its unedited nonsense.

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My Motivation is There

Where is my motivation? I seem to have misplaced it, but not with the same casual action as tossing my car keys in some location I don't normally use and then ranting and stomping around the house as I try to find them.

I know not to look for my motivation on the kitchen counter, nor the hook that says,"Car keys." I know not to, but I have. Primarily in some frantic moment of wishful thinking. I lie to myself in a moment of hope. "Well, maybe my motivation really is laying on the kitchen counter." This futile thinking is part of some deeper need to punish myself for feeling too lazy to have any motivation.

I've even looked for my motivation in my lovers eyes. All of them. But that's too many eyes to look into and besides, my lovers only tend to fatigue me further. Lately, I think they are looking into my eyes for motivation. Poor things.

I looked into the bathroom mirror for motivation, but only see spatters of dried toothpaste and a faint crack in the upper, right corner possibly created from previous sessions banging my head against it in frustration. No, there's no motivation in that mirror nor in the smirking reflection looking back at me.

Sometimes to find a thing lost you have to lose the things found. And lately, I've found one thing, a habit, I would like to lose. Like an increasing tendency to squint in the dark. Squinting in the face of a direct and blinding light I can understand. But squinting in the dark where there is an absence of light? I can only assume my lack of motivation is resulting in an absurd posture and person.

I need to find my motivation. I know it's in there or out there or wherever the hell 'there' might be. Lurking, hiding, or hibernating it is There. I feel mildly certain I used to have complete confidence I knew where my motivation was at any time. But now I see that my confidence might only have been a monumental arrogance, and that arrogance delayed me or blinded me from taking the time to clearly define, and remember, the location of There.

What I need is a map. The map that has There clearly marked in latitude and longitude. Also, the map should be neatly folded, not crumpled, and it should not have any coffee stains on it. After all, a map that pinpoints the location of There, there where my motivation resides, shouldn't be polluted in any way should it?

But what the hell do I know? Most days I can't even find my car keys.

Really? Wow.

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deegroovee35


Member

Posted Mon Feb 9th, 2009 8:26am Post subject: My Motivation is There
Quite poetic. Loved it.

Also worryingly similar to my life most days.

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PamJH


Member

Posted Tue Feb 10th, 2009 3:50am Post subject: My Motivation is There
I enjoyed this, especially because it started with car keys which, of course, are never where I thought I put them.

Isn't it scary to have people look to you for motivation? Sometimes I really don't have any, then I dread the phone call that asks, "What should I do?" How the hell should I know? is the correct reply but one mustn't be nasty.

This is quite good for being written on the fly. A lot of people here should polish their stuff a bit and try submitting it for publication, even if it's to a magazine that only pays in contributor's copies. But only if they have the motivation to do so.

Nice job.

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Nitro


Member

Posted Tue Feb 10th, 2009 5:12am Post subject: My Motivation is There
Thank you for your polite comments :-// BTW, it may not be worth mentioning but I'll say it anyway: It's not autobiography. A good friend said,"Write something very fast and no fair editing or censoring the blather that may spew forth from your fingers." X-D I took the challenge but honestly, I feel a bit silly for doing so. Your kind reactions have taken the sting out of my torture.

Really? Wow.

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PamJH


Member

Posted Tue Feb 10th, 2009 5:31am Post subject: My Motivation is There
Then you could title this "The Uncensored Blather Challenge a Friend Induced Me to Write."

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Nitro


Member

Posted Tue Feb 10th, 2009 1:39pm Post subject: My Motivation is There
Then you could title this "The Uncensored Blather Challenge a Friend Induced Me to Write."

Yes, but then I would have had to write specifically about the challenge and it would've made it about me when it's sort of about a state of mind I don't really share. Usually X-D

Really? Wow.

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PamJH


Member

Posted Tue Feb 10th, 2009 3:04pm Post subject: My Motivation is There
Then you could title this "The Uncensored Blather Challenge a Friend Induced Me to Write."

Yes, but then I would have had to write specifically about the challenge and it would've made it about me when it's sort of about a state of mind I don't really share. Usually X-D

Then, as Bertie might have said:

"Blather on, Jeeves."

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Nitro


Member

Posted Wed Feb 11th, 2009 3:41am Post subject: My Motivation is There


Then, as Bertie might have said:

"Blather on, Jeeves."

Thanks Stephen! X-D X-D

blatherblatherblatherblatherblather...

Wow, that's kind of tiring.

Really? Wow.

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PamJH


Member

Posted Wed Feb 11th, 2009 4:49am Post subject: My Motivation is There


Then, as Bertie might have said:

"Blather on, Jeeves."

Thanks Stephen! X-D X-D

blatherblatherblatherblatherblather...

Wow, that's kind of tiring.

Once again, very funny, Nitro!
Maybe blabblabblabblab would work better.

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Nitro


Member

Posted Thu Feb 12th, 2009 6:27am Post subject: My Motivation is There


Once again, very funny, Nitro!
Maybe blabblabblabblab would work better.

I feel incredibly lucky to have been in the presence of your far superior talent with blabla. Or is it blab-blab? In any event, you're a good sport and I thank you for that.

Really? Wow.

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