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Fourth Feline


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Posted Thu May 3rd, 2007 11:46pm Post subject: oh not again...
Hello Panda,

with reference to dealing with the pain of separation - I have found that what you described as " just being with it" is a natural and healing strategy that ended up being the way forward for me. It is after all, a form of grieving and as such has distinct 'stages'.

Like any form of grieving - that can include crying and openly emoting or not.

For me, It is a passage of time thing. Instead of tearing the leaf off the tree in summer, wait till Autumn - and it will fall off in it's own good time.

Meanwhile, a hug from me and the cats... ( * hugs * )

F.F.

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panda


Member

Posted Fri May 4th, 2007 10:02pm Post subject: oh not again...
thanks FF. i like the image of the leaf falling off the tree.

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panda


Member

Posted Sun May 6th, 2007 11:38am Post subject: oh not again...
The only thing is, how do you explain this to others? I can just about cope with my own emotions, but when other people (like my parents) want to know whats going on, i don't know what to say. ive tried explaining things before and i think they just ignore it. help!

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Fourth Feline


Member

Posted Sun May 6th, 2007 12:38pm Post subject: oh not again...
Hello Panda,

I am not working with all the facts of your situation here, but I feel that your parents seeming to ignore your explanation, may be rather like your own difficulty in dealing with the separation .

You all feel there is something you should be doing instead of accepting and letting time allow the transformation. You feel ( like me ) the need to take action in order to accelerate through the pain; - and also your parents may be feeling guilty or that they are letting you down by not knowing how to accelerate your process either. Your explanation to them may not quench them, simply because they feel responsible for needing to 'steer' you in some way. As for explanations to others, if you feel the need, then a generalised description of "having some difficult changes to deal with, in my own way" can usually buy us some time and cover. The ones you don't have to explain it to will probably be the ones that understand the most anyway:- Instinct and empathy being very powerful tools of perception.

If I add the above statements together, I think that perhaps a re-assurance to your family that they are not letting you down / need not feel guilty - but you would appreciate them just being with you in spirit as it were, - may prove useful.

I could have missed the mark here, but welcome further discussion so I do not distort the facts; my 'observations' being from afar...

Warm wishes,

F.F.

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