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tickytocky


Member

Posted Sun Mar 8th, 2009 7:44pm Post subject: On the Edge
Two of my late daughter's poems have appeared on this site so I thought I would post another. There are plenty more if anyone wants another. She suffered from BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) which is evident in some of her poems but her creative energy and talent, refined by much study of ' The Ode Less Travelled', transcended her illness and her poems have been much admired. There is panic in this poem but also a beautiful observation of the Lincolnshire Fens at sunset.

Night-fall on a winter fen

A violent geometry: the cold sun
shoots out its last protractor rays of light:
a circular horizon where perspective
converges like the cross-hairs on the sight.
Geese stream – an echoed spear down flooded-furrows;
before the silent arrow of their flight
the last thread-vein of sky-line beads, and bleeds black
into the frozen fabric of the night.

Euclid’s rules are broken tools inside the void;
your heart-beat shovels blind, your senses fail:
your sudden heavy-breathing reeling in like
a frightened field-mouse climbing its own tail.
A dark to make an atheist a believer:
you’ll never pray so honest or so hard
for some Good God to stumble in the blackness
and forge the moon and hammer out the stars.

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PamJH


Member

Posted Sun Mar 8th, 2009 7:49pm Post subject: On the Edge
Beautiful. Your daughter certainly understood the power of imagery.

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sillionshine


Member

Posted Mon Mar 9th, 2009 10:40am Post subject: On the Edge
Loved this poem. A well-handled mix of tight construction and the freedom given to some great imagery. 'of light' 'of the sight' 'of their flight' 'of the night' - such rhymes could easily overpower a poem, but here they are barely noticed, sinking wonderfully into the tone and mood of the poem.

Great image fragments like 'an echoed spear down flooded-furrows'

The 'thread-vein' metaphor developed in the following 'beads' 'bleeds' 'frozen fabric'.

The great beginning of the poem with the oxymoron 'the cold sun' echoed in the last line with the fiery image of the usually cold moon and stars being forged and hammered.

A poem you can spend quite some time in. By all means feel free to post more of this talented poet's work.

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Nitro


Member

Posted Wed Mar 11th, 2009 8:48pm Post subject: On the Edge
I'm out of the loop here. Where were the poems posted and what is your daughters name?

Really? Wow.

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tickytocky


Member

Posted Wed Mar 11th, 2009 11:13pm Post subject: On the Edge
Two poems were posted by Obsidio and a couple by myself, Tickytocky. The author was Kate Strutt. I will continue to post if I find people like her poetry

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Mcnaughty


Member

Posted Fri Mar 27th, 2009 8:43am Post subject: On the Edge
a Beautiful and profound poem.

I too have wrote many poems, one short story and poem was published when I was about 14/15....through a school and Caxton House workshop. Sadly I burnt many of my old poems and have destroyed others since but I think writing them was carthartic but also sometimes I felt as though I had exposed myself, perhaps cause someone close to me was afraid of them and scorned them sometimes, now I am happier to share them a sign of my own growth and acceptance I hope. Reading your daughters poem reminded me, and encourages me that I should write more.....

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tickytocky


Member

Posted Fri Mar 27th, 2009 9:17am Post subject: On the Edge
I think Milton said "A good book (I will substitute 'poem') is the precious life blood of a master spirit" I believe reading and writing poetry can be an intense experience and certainly cathartic. Subsequent revisiting and editing can not only improve the poem but refine the emotion and heal the soul. So keep posting and revisiting your older poems.

a Beautiful and profound poem.

I too have wrote many poems, one short story and poem was published when I was about 14/15....through a school and Caxton House workshop. Sadly I burnt many of my old poems and have destroyed others since but I think writing them was carthartic but also sometimes I felt as though I had exposed myself, perhaps cause someone close to me was afraid of them and scorned them sometimes, now I am happier to share them a sign of my own growth and acceptance I hope. Reading your daughters poem reminded me, and encourages me that I should write more.....

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Mcnaughty


Member

Posted Fri Mar 27th, 2009 1:57pm Post subject: On the Edge
Thankyou, kindly you have inspired me to further develop my poem in my signiture:
Deeply Deeply
Round and Round
Spiralling Tightly
Sky and Ground
Core heat and Cooling air
Cataclysm of reactions
Leaving me in dispair

Deeply Deeply
Round and Round
Unwinding Spirals
Release so Profound
Settling Stillness
Framed most Complete
Straight as the Arrow
My Ships at Fleet
Sail through Storms
The Crashing Waves
Courageous and Loving
My Soul to Save

by Me
Sarah McNaughton

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